🎬 QAC 76.5 – 11 Years In The Making: #TheBigChop || Non-binary | QPOC | Haircut
two months after moving back to America from Japan, i've finally done what i've been dreaming about doing for years...! that is, cutting off my butt-length locs of 11 years-- i.e., the #BigChop...
“too butch.”
as the clock counts down to me sitting in a hairstylist's chair to get my hair chopped off—a clock that started its countdown years ago in my head, but has only recently been given a definitive calendar date of May 18th, 2019—i've on-and-off made an effort to help my mom 'get over it.'
whiteness as default
as usual, i find myself turning to YouTube as a resource for information only to be reminded that…. YouTube is So Damn White. most things non-binary and / or trans are So Damn White. a search for “non-binary” and “testosterone” turns up almost nothing but skinny, short haired, white, non-binary people, none of whom i can really see myself in. which is nothing new. that’s part of the reason i’m on YouTube in the first place. beyond that, a bigger problem that i find myself faced with is that the very image / concept of “androgyny” or stereotypical “non-binary appearance” is inherently linked to whiteness. i want people to pause before they misgender me (seeing as how they will inevitably misgender me regardless) and the best way to bring about that is, presumably, androgynous appearance. however, androgyny feels unobtainable to me as a black person, because no matter what i…
gender feels; racial trauma.
as usual, i find myself turning to YouTube as a resource for information only to be reminded that…. YouTube is So Damn White. most things non-binary and / or trans are So Damn White. a search for “non-binary” and “testosterone” turns up almost nothing but skinny, short haired, white, non-binary people, none of whom i can really see myself in. which is nothing new. that’s part of the reason i’m on YouTube in the first place.
Feedback: “I’m sure there are plenty of other trans people who want to be visibly trans…”
anonymous said: On the visibility thing- I am a trans person who wants to be proudly and visibly trans, mostly because I’m genderqueer and there isn’t really a way to “pass” as gq, so being seen as cis is automatically misgendering me. So I try to be as “nonpassing” and obviously trans/queer as possible. And I’m sure there are plenty of other trans people who want to be visibly trans, otherwise stuff like trans pride shirts and such wouldn’t exist, no? Or am I misunderstanding what you mean by visibility? ( re: this post ) i agree with you, anon, that there are a lot of people who want to visibly subvert and / or defy the assumption that they are cis a man / woman or otherwise a binary gender that they are not– especially among those for whom (as you pointed out) “passing” as their gender (or lack thereof) is…
Q&A: “how would a person go about separating gender identity and presentation?”
anonymous said: hey there! i just came across this blog, so im unsure where to look or search. how would a person go about separating gender identity and presentation? i personally when i first learned about feminism, i immediately understood no actions, feelings, way of dressing/presenting signified anything about gender. though it’s maybe left me a bit lost now (currently i recently started using the label neutrois lesbian, and only feeling “feminine” or “womanness” when i thought of my attraction to women)? hi anon, i feel like it’s worth pointing out that not everyone does view their gender as being separate or independent of how they present or express themself. and that’s okay. some people do feel like how they present / express themself is reflective of their gender or vice versa. there is a push now to draw a clear line between these two things, but not everyone feels…
QAC 58 – Escaping Womanhood || Non-Binary | AFAB | Internalized Misogyny
as a non-binary person who was deemed to be female at birth, i have struggled all my life with what others consider to be my “womanhood”. when women have fought so hard to progress gender equality to where it is today, asserting that there is no wrong way to be a woman because women can do and be anything– juxtaposed against the continual struggle of trans women and some non-binary people just to have their womanhood recognized and respected– it is incredibly hard not to see my own rejection of womanhood as anything other than internalized misogyny. it certainly doesn’t help that society in general, but women especially, are often more than happy to write off my gender as being nothing more than internalized misogyny. i mean, given how awesome women are but how misogynistic society is, obviously any disconnect i feel with womanhood must be a result of internalized…
Q&A: “…does anyone ever talk about how jobs can limit one’s choices for gender presentation?”
anonymous said: Concerning being either GNC or nonbinary, does anyone ever talk about how jobs can limit one’s choices for gender presentation? I’m in hard science, which tends to have much stricter standards of “professional presentation” (and thus gender-performance), than the humanities. I couldn’t get away with half of the presentation stuff that people on Tumblr endlessly espouse if I want to actually get a job in my chosen field, which is then used as proof that I’m a faker and trend-follower. unfortunately i don’t have any links on hand to offer you, but i have seen many people both online and offline talk about the limitations (or even complete inability) that they face regarding being able to present themselves in a way that reflects their gender (or lack thereof)– both in regards to on the job and as a student because of standards re: “professionalism”. especially here in Japan…
hats. hats. hats.
queerascat: …you know you have a problem when 3 out of the 4 hats that you own are exactly the same hat in exactly the same colors (black / gray / white) just in different patterns / materials. to be fair, though, the latest (solid black) one was half the price of the others despite being the same brand and everything, so of course i’m going to buy it. i mean, solid black is my thing– if anything, you’d have thought it’d have been the first hat i’d have bought, right? hmph. ;( more random thoughts about hats because i’m exceptionally longwinded tonight, apparently. …is it odd that i only got into hats once my hair started falling into “wow, your hair’s long feminine!” category in people’s eyes? like, before that i never even really gave hats any thought. now it’s almost like i feel a need to wear a hat…
Farewell, Saint Harridan. Thank you for everything.
Saint Harridan, an Oakland based clothing company born from a Kickstarter campaign in 2012 with the aim of creating clothing that helped masculine women and gender diverse people express their authentic selves, officially closes its doors for the last time today… in a tear-jerking farewell message, owner Mary Going shared the above video saying:e We hope that our contribution will lend itself to the next wave of the un-doing of the gender binary and the dismantling of the narrow boxes into which we have previously been crammed. We have been so very proud to reflect and serve this community. Collectively, we have all contributed to this revolutionary momentum. At Saint Harridan, we have had the privilege to hear your stories and share your life’s milestones: weddings, job interviews, college tours, proms, high school graduations and even burials. You showed up looking like you felt, dressed in a way that lent…
