self doubt Archives | Queer As Cat

[A]sexuality, Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “I think I’m bi? But I’ve never been attracted to women before so why now?”

March 6, 2017 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi Vesper. So Idk how to put it but I identified as a straight girl my whole life until recently. I’ve been getting attracted to women. I think I’m bi? But I’ve never been attracted to women before so why now? Idk how to feel about this bc I know ppl have discourse about whether you’re born LGBT+ or you can change into it and I’m confused. I’ve never thought about being romantic with women before but right now I’d be totally ok. idk Why all of a sudden. I feel fake idk is this a normal feeling? hi, anon. i’m no expert, but i think it’s safe to say that what you’re experiencing is not uncommon at all. like many things in life, sexuality can change. that is to say that who one is attracted to, the ways in which you experience (or even don’t experience) that…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “i’m trans and there are a lot of times when i feel hopeless…”

November 14, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: this sounds dumb but i really wonder about – i’m trans and there are a lot of times when i feel hopeless, like i will never be totally validated and accepted like cis people are even if i completely transition (sometimes i even wish i was cis so i wouldn’t have to deal with the things i feel). occasionally i wonder if maybe i really am faking it even though it’s been a couple years since i realized that being trans felt right. am i the only one who has these thoughts? am i faking it? i can tell you with 100% certainty that you’re not the only one who has such thoughts and who feels this way at times, anon. it’s not at all uncommon to feel hopeless sometimes; to wish that you were like those around you who do not have to deal with the things…

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Vesper H.

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[A]sexuality, Gender[queer], Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “Idk if this is a valid thing but I know I love women and I also seem to love nb folks…”

July 1, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Idk if this is a valid thing but I know I love women and I also seem to love nb folks. I myself am nonbinary so I know they’re real and valid genders and such but there’s always a bit of me that worries that I like women and just want to feel special. Or at least that others will always assume that what you’re feeling is 100% valid, anon. imho, it sounds like you might be struggling with internalized monosexism. the same ignorance, stigma, etc within society that repeatedly tells bi people that they’re really just gay or straight and they’re just doing whatever it is that they’re doing (ie. loving who they love) for attention or to feel special. that they have to pick one gender to love or else they’re being ‘greedy’ or ‘confused’. it’s a large part of what fuels biphobia and many people who…

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Vesper H.

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[A]sexuality, Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “All the backlash over the #GiveSteveABoyfriend thing is making me feel like crap.”

May 25, 2016 / No Comments

tw: suicide, death, self harm anonymous said: All the backlash over the #GiveSteveABoyfriend thing is making me feel like crap. I’m Christian and queer, and I’m starting to freak out. Maybe it’s right for queer people to kill themselves? Maybe I shouldn’t exist? anon, please take this moment to close Twitter, stop everything you’re doing and just breathe. relax. listen. regardless of whatever anyone else says, who you are as a Christian and as a queer person is valid. as hard as life may be sometimes, please do not throw yours away. your life, and the life of every queer person, is far more valuable and worth living than you seem to think right now. please block and ignore anything that brings you down like this, including the hashtags #GiveSteveABoyfriend and #GiveCaptianAmericaABoyfriend on Twitter. do not subject yourself to people’s bullshit. there are lots of other people in those tags…

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Vesper H.

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QAC 43 – Coming to Terms w/ Depression & Anxiety | Mental Health

December 7, 2015 / 1 Comment

my journey to self-awareness and self-acceptance regarding the state of my own mental health has been a long one. 15-some-odd years i’ve been struggling with persistent depression and social anxiety and my journey is far from over. in this video i talk about how i went for over a decade without even knowing what “mental health” even was and how i’ve struggled going from that to where i am today, having finally accepted my mental health for what it is. i also briefly mention how the intersectionality of race, sexuality and gender factored into my struggle with mental wellbeing. for those who’d prefer to read most of what was said here, check out this Tumblr post: http://tmblr.co/Z04EMt1y9JmEq the video ended up being fairly long, but oh well. i’m glad i wrote most of it out and posted it to Tumblr first then sat on it for weeks. made talking about…

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Vesper H.

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Persistent Depression & Anxiety: My Personal Journey

November 15, 2015 / 1 Comment

this post corresponds to a vlog that i will be posting have posted on my channel soon, but i figured i’d write out my feelings now and test the waters on Tumblr first. warning: talk of death and self-harm, along with lots of negativity in general. also, this post is extremely long. 15-some-odd years. that’s how long i guesstimate that i’ve been suffering from depression and anxiety. and yet i’ve only become aware of this over the course of the past 3~ years and have only come to accept it within the last year. like my sexuality and gender, mental health is something i’ve had to learn about and navigate entirely on my own. the journey has been rough

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Vesper H.

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