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Queer As Cat

gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

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  • Home
  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

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  • [Random] Thoughts,  Black[ness],  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness]

    whiteness as default

    December 10, 2017 / No Comments

    as usual, i find myself turning to YouTube as a resource for information only to be reminded that…. YouTube is So Damn White. most things non-binary and / or trans are So Damn White. a search for “non-binary” and “testosterone” turns up almost nothing but skinny, short haired, white, non-binary people, none of whom i can really see myself in. which is nothing new. that’s part of the reason i’m on YouTube in the first place. beyond that, a bigger problem that i find myself faced with is that the very image / concept of “androgyny” or stereotypical “non-binary appearance” is inherently linked to whiteness. i want people to pause before they misgender me (seeing as how they will inevitably misgender me regardless) and the best way to bring about that is, presumably, androgynous appearance. however, androgyny feels unobtainable to me as a black person, because no matter what i…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder

    March 7, 2020

    introducing: ユキハリ / Yukihari

    April 4, 2014

    QAC 30 – Gender Expression / Presentation Blurb

    October 28, 2014
  • [Random] Thoughts,  Black[ness],  Gender[queer],  Mental [Un]health,  Queer[ness]

    gender feels; racial trauma.

    December 6, 2017 / No Comments

    as usual, i find myself turning to YouTube as a resource for information only to be reminded that…. YouTube is So Damn White. most things non-binary and / or trans are So Damn White. a search for “non-binary” and “testosterone” turns up almost nothing but skinny, short haired, white, non-binary people, none of whom i can really see myself in. which is nothing new. that’s part of the reason i’m on YouTube in the first place.

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    Vesper H.

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    QAC 04 – Why I Identify as Panromantic & Biromantic

    May 24, 2013

    adventures in Japanese TV: “Gathering of 13 Trans Women”

    February 9, 2017

    “the faces of Vesper”

    June 8, 2014
  • Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I stumbled across the term Maverique a few days ago…”

    October 15, 2017 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I stumbled across the term Maverique a few days ago. Before I went w/ the gender I was assigned at birth (cuz ¯_(ツ)_/¯), but the definition just “clicked”. After reading more about it I’m not sure if I can ID that way tho, cuz while I don’t feel genderless, or like a man/woman, I do feel kinda “feminine”, but it’s not like “”””feminine””””, you know? It’s really “me”/innate & unrelated to things outside myself, but feminine as a word still fits, just the concept of feminine is my own. Thoughts? sorry for the slow reply, anon. i’m sorry that my definition of maverique being what it is has caused you to question whether you can identify as maverique or not. my personal stance is that if you feel like ‘maverique’ describes you then it does, even if ‘feminine’ also happens to describe you as well. i’m the last person to…

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    Vesper H.

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    ? QAC 78 – 1yr+ on T: Japan vs America | Planned Parenthood | Intermusc vs SubQ Injections || The T Files #011

    September 8, 2019

    …mmm, so.

    March 24, 2017

    AskAPan Week 06 – “Genderblind”ness (+DOMA comments)

    June 28, 2013
  • Gender[queer],  Mental [Un]health,  Queer[ness],  YouTube[r]

    QAC 58 – Escaping Womanhood || Non-Binary | AFAB | Internalized Misogyny

    August 16, 2017 / No Comments

    as a non-binary person who was deemed to be female at birth, i have struggled all my life with what others consider to be my “womanhood”. when women have fought so hard to progress gender equality to where it is today, asserting that there is no wrong way to be a woman because women can do and be anything– juxtaposed against the continual struggle of trans women and some non-binary people just to have their womanhood recognized and respected– it is incredibly hard not to see my own rejection of womanhood as anything other than internalized misogyny. it certainly doesn’t help that society in general, but women especially, are often more than happy to write off my gender as being nothing more than internalized misogyny. i mean, given how awesome women are but how misogynistic society is, obviously any disconnect i feel with womanhood must be a result of internalized…

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    Vesper H.

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    QAC 31 – Relationships… Meh.

    November 17, 2014

    QAC 47 –  Re: “Transitioning” in Japan / Body Mods & Dysphoria || Tea & Word Vomit

    February 28, 2016

    …so this happened at TRP today.

    May 7, 2016
  • [Random] Thoughts,  Black[ness],  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness]

    “…what it means to become America’s boogieman”

    July 12, 2017 / 1 Comment

    [ … ] There isn’t any classroom, or pre-testosterone counseling session that prepared me for what it means to become America’s boogieman; a black man. What I was first acquainted with as a gender nonconforming dyke and what was further illuminated after engaging in hormone therapy and beginning to “pass” as a man of color, is that without organically derived psychological schemas, black masculinity is suspended in others’ projections, desires / fantasies, or agendas. [ … ] – Parker T Hurley (”Outside the XY: Queer, Black and Brown Masculinity”, a @bklynboihood​ anthology edited by Morgan Mann Willis) came across this gem (among others) in my reading today. the first highlighted / bolded part (emphasis mine) in particular touches upon something that i’ve been thinking about for years now, but haven’t gotten up the nerve to explicitly talk about for various reasons. the latter highlighted / bolded part is all too…

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    Vesper H.

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    QAC 16.5 – Life Update: Japan & Channel Changes

    September 16, 2013

    #TRP2017

    May 11, 2017

    adventures in Japanese TV: “Gathering of 13 Trans Women”

    February 9, 2017
  • [Random] Thoughts,  Queer[ness]

    hats. hats. hats.

    December 26, 2016 / No Comments

    queerascat: …you know you have a problem when 3 out of the 4 hats that you own are exactly the same hat in exactly the same colors (black / gray / white) just in different patterns / materials. to be fair, though, the latest (solid black) one was half the price of the others despite being the same brand and everything, so of course i’m going to buy it. i mean, solid black is my thing– if anything, you’d have thought it’d have been the first hat i’d have bought, right? hmph. ;( more random thoughts about hats because i’m exceptionally longwinded tonight, apparently. …is it odd that i only got into hats once my hair started falling into “wow, your hair’s long feminine!” category in people’s eyes? like, before that i never even really gave hats any thought. now it’s almost like i feel a need to wear a hat…

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    Vesper H.

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    genderfuck

    February 7, 2013

    #SpiritDay 2016

    October 19, 2016

    endings & beginnings. ?

    April 2, 2019
  • [A]sexuality,  [Random] Thoughts,  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness]

    them gay enbian feels

    October 16, 2016 / No Comments

    archiving Twitter stuff. again. i should really stop saying meaningful (to me) things on Twitter where it’ll disappear into my feed beyond retrieval. that or, you know, i could just rehash the same thoughts directly on Tumblr… but where’s the fun in that? anyway, random thoughts on being bi / pan and enbian– wooo…. but see, it gets even ““gayer”” because by “nbs like themself” i totally mean non-binary people who are like me and i don’t just mean in that they’re also non-binary. for one, binary people aren’t the only people who can be (hyper)masculine and / or (hyper)feminine. secondly, masculinity / femininity isn’t even a defining factor of attraction for me, even if it can be a potential point of aversion… my understanding of my own attraction may be nearly as nebulous as my actual experience with it, but if there’s one thing that i know for sure it’s that any attraction i do…

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    Vesper H.

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    Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2017: ACES & ENBIES

    May 15, 2017

    comments on my “QAC 36 – What Acephobia & Asexual Erasure Looks Like” video.

    November 26, 2015

    QAC 37 – Forced Out of the Closet: 1.5 Years Later (Non-Binary Asexual)

    June 16, 2015
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “Do you think that would be poly or bi? I don’t feel I’m straight because of the attraction to nonbinary individuals, but…”

    June 25, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I’m questioning currently. I’m female but attracted to males, demiboys, and some agender and genderfluid individuals. But mostly masculine presenting nb individuals. Do you think that would be poly or bi? I don’t feel I’m straight because of the attraction to nonbinary individuals. But I’m MOSTLY attracted to masculinity.   hello, anon. i’ll be honest, this is kind of a tough ask for me to answer. it sounds like you’re looking to define your sexuality based on the appearance or gender expression of the people you are attracted to, whereas my understanding of attraction (in terms of orientations) is more based on a person’s gender identity rather than how a person presents themself. you said that you are mostly attracted to masculinity. people of literally ANY gender can present themselves in a masculine manner. does this mean that you could potentially be attracted to a masculine person of…

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    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • [Random] Thoughts,  Art[sy Fartsy],  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness]

    genderfuck

    February 7, 2013 / No Comments

    want to know more? see: Wikipedia: Genderfuck “Genderfuck and Ignorance” by Zoe Aleshire

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    Vesper H.

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    Re: “”Visibility””

    September 18, 2017

    spotted: LGBT 101 on Japanese TV

    February 21, 2015

    QAC 37.5 – Life Update: Therapy / Mom Drama 3.0 / LGBT Meetups in Japan

    August 11, 2015

VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

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Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

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