gender Archives | Page 5 of 12 | Queer As Cat

When The World Doesn’t Know You Exist: Coming Out As Non-Binary

Gender[queer], Queer[ness]

Huffpost: “When The World Doesn’t Know You Exist: Coming Out As Non-Binary”

October 30, 2016 / No Comments

Life would be easier if it came with a guidebook. If it did, maybe it wouldn’t have taken me 27 years to realise that I didn’t actually have to subscribe to society’s assertion that everyone is either male or female. At the very least, ripping the book to shreds in a fit of rage would have made for great stress relief. Then again, had there been such a book I probably wouldn’t have grown up to be the person that I am today and I wouldn’t change that for the world. Hello, my name’s Vesper. I’m a 31 year old non-binary person who’s here today to tell you that gender is a much more beautifully complex thing than society would have you believe. That some people, such as myself, are neither male nor female but a different gender(s) entirely […] the blog post that i wrote for Ditch The Label…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “do you happen to know of a gender label/type that could be described loosely as…”

October 22, 2016 / No Comments

lymeandcoconut said: Hi there. I just started following you so I apologize if you’ve already addressed this, but do you happen to know of a gender label/type that could be described loosely as “I feel like at my core I’m agender, but I wear a female/male ‘suit'”? It’s hard to put into words, but I feel as if female is an outfit I wear, a role I play, but who I am underneath is agender. Have you heard of something like that? i’m afraid that i haven’t come across a gender that fits the description of what you’re looking for. i have seen people talk about “performing” a gender that differs from their actual gender (for example, an agender person who considers themself to “perform” the socially defined role of “female” in their day-to-day life), but i generally see that “performance” treated as separate from a person’s actual gender rather than…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I was wondering if you’re ok with people calling you “doll”, “darling” or “sweetheart”?”

October 21, 2016 /

anonymous said: Hii, I really love your videos(: I’m so glad I found your channel, it really helped me come to terms with my romantic orientation(aromantic) & I was wondering if you’re ok with people calling you “doll”, “darling” or “sweetheart”? Some people think it’s gender specific, like for females. I personally don’t think so, but I wanna know what you think(: hi, anon. thanks for watching my videos and for the kind message. i really appreciate it. 🙂 generally speaking, i think that there’s a lot that goes into how any person feels about being referred to by any given “pet name” (term of endearment). as you’ve noted, a term can feel gender neutral to you while at the same time feeling gendered to someone else. neither person is necessarily right or wrong, of course. as i said, a lot– everything from culture to dialect, past experiences to historical…

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016
"Gender is a Much More Beautifully Complex Thing Than Society Would Have You Believe"- Ditch the Label

Gender[queer], Queer[ness]

“Gender is a Much More Beautifully Complex Thing Than Society Would Have You Believe”- Ditch the Label

October 18, 2016 / No Comments

Life would be easier if it came with a guidebook. If it did, maybe it wouldn’t have taken me 27 years to realize that I didn’t actually have to subscribe to society’s assertion that everyone is either male or female. At the very least, ripping the book to shreds in a fit of rage would have made for great stress relief. Then again, had there been such a book I probably wouldn’t have grown up to be the person that I am today and I wouldn’t change that for the world. Hello, my name’s Vesper. I’m a 31 year old non-binary person who’s here today to tell you that gender is a much more beautifully complex thing than society would have you believe. That some people, such as myself, are neither male nor female but a different gender(s) entirely. […] when @ditchthelabel, an international anti-bullying charity, approached me about writing…

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Vesper H.

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Gender[queer], Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “Would it be possible for someone to identify as maverique & neutrois?”

October 14, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Would it be possible for someone to identify as maverique & neutrois? Or would that person have to identify as either the latter or the former? yes, a person can be both maverique and neutrois. there are no rules or limitations as to what a person can be or how a person can identify. if someone is maverique and neutrois, there’s no reason why they couldn’t identify as maverique and neutrois.

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I really want to thank you for introducing me to the term “maverique” because…”

October 14, 2016 /

anonymous said: I really want to thank you for introducing me to the term “maverique” because I think I’ve found something that describes me in a way. I’ve always felt like I wasn’t a boy or a girl, and that I was simply just myself. A person. So now I’m glad to have found a term that describes that. ;v; Thank you so much. being maverique, someone with a distinct gender that is independent from both male and female gender can be tough! everyone regardless of gender is just being themself, a person, but when you don’t even have a word to conceptualize your gender with because everything else is tied to male and / or female…. yeah. glad you found a word that works for you, anon. 🙂

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “do you think gender admiration can only happen to trans people or to queer people in general?”

October 13, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: do you think gender admiration can only happen to trans people or to queer people in general? sorry if this bothers you i’m most certainly not an expert on gender admiration / envy, mind you, but… i feel like anyone has the potential to experience it. having said that, i’m currently under the impression that it’s very much a thing among LGBTQIA people and that some are more apt to experience it than others…? and as always with anything of this nature, different people experience it in different ways. for someone who isn’t cis, gender admiration / envy may be related to gender dysphoria and / or gender euphoria, for example, whereas for a cis person it may not be.

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “your video on attraction & gender envy was rly interesting!”

October 13, 2016 /

anonymous said: your video on attraction & gender envy was rly interesting! Im also ace and nb and i think about it a lot about lately. I struggle to separate my looks-based/aesthetic attraction for masc ppl from dysphoria based envy and I thought it was just me! ( re: this post ) with 30+ people and counting on YouTube and many more elsewhere commenting that they’ve also had similar experiences, it looks like neither of us was as alone in our experiences as we’d thought. 🙂

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Vesper H.

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QAC 54 – Confusing Gender Envy & Admiration with Attraction || Non-Binary | Asexual

October 10, 2016 / No Comments

it’s come to my attention recently that some feelings that i assummed were attraction may have not been attraction at all, but rather “gender envy” or “gender admiration”– feelings of admiration or envy towards someone else’s gender be it their self-expression, gender identity, (lack of) gender roles or socially imposed gender norms– anything pertaining to a person’s gender. never heard of gender envy or gender admiration before…? i’m not surprised, since i just pulled the terms out of my ass for lack of a better way of referring to these gender feels that i’m attempting to navigate. as someone who’s both non-binary and asexual i feel like both of these things have played a part in me mistaking gender envy / admiration for attraction. this is something that i’m just now beginning to give thought to, so please bear with me as i stumble around trying to talk about things.…

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Vesper H.

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Re: Re: “Why do you think some nb genders are becoming more well known than other nb genders?”

September 14, 2016 / No Comments

nextstepcake: queerascat: nextstepcake: queerascat: anonymous said: Hey Vesper! I have a question. I’ve noticed that within the nonbinary and larger trans and queer and so forth communities, some nonbinary genders seem to get more recognition than others. Some- especially maverique as I’ve noticed- are hardly known of by many other nonbinary and/or trans people, while others such are gaining recognition in trans, nb, and other circles much more quickly in comparison. Why do you think some nb genders are becoming more well known than other nb genders? hi anon, this is a really tough question. not just because of how subjective it is (i mean, what even counts as ‘recognition’, let alone what counts as ‘more’ or ‘more quickly’), but also because there are an infinite number of factors involved in why any non-binary gender gets any amount of recognition at all. imho, some non-binary genders are more commonly recognized…

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Vesper H.

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