forced out of the closet Archives | Queer As Cat

[Random] Thoughts, Gender[queer], Japan[ese], Mental [Un]health, Queer[ness]

QAC 55.5 – Life Update: Post-Election Mental Health | Staying In Japan | Outted To Dad

November 23, 2016 / No Comments

two weeks ago any vague plans that i’d had for my immediate future were abruptly shattered when America elected Trump as the next president of the United States. two weeks later, i’m still struggling to cope with the news and the resulting blow to my already poor mental health. in this video, i give voice to my thoughts on being forced to navigate HRT in Japan and forgo (for the time being) other gender-related medical things that i’d hoped to pursue in America. i also talk about possibly moving to Tokyo in a year’s time, having been outted to my dad via Twitter and a new book by Ashley Mardell that i highly recommend. longass video is long, so here are some jump points for those of you only interested in specific things. @00:00 – post-election mental health @03:50 – shattered future; staying in Japan @08:55 – name change, HRT…

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Vesper H.

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re: …outted again?

August 10, 2016 / No Comments

thanks everyone for the kind, supportive replies to the above post. it means a lot. <3 as a sort of update… i ended up emailing him (because calling would have been too awkward) and finally, after tap dancing around the issue by joking about him spying on me, we had one of those extremely-rare-between-us conversations about something serious. my dad, a man of relatively few words, caught me totally by surprise. me: i saw you followed me on Twitter using a newer account than the old one that had been following me. trying to get back into Twitter? dad: No I just signed back in to the account. Just never looked at it much. That’s all. Is that why you thought I was spying on you? me: ….i was joking but yes. 😛 dad: No I’m not spying sweetheart. And you’re old enough to feel how you want. I’ll always be…

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Vesper H.

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QAC 16 – Asexuality and the LGBTQ Community
September 9, 2013

QAC 73 – 【Asexuality In JAPAN】An Interview ♠【アセクシャルって？】日本ｘ英語圏 || #AAW2018
October 26, 2018

QAC 22 – LGBTQ J-Magazines: Garçon Girls + Novia Novia
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…outted again?

August 8, 2016 / No Comments

………that feel when you walk into the staff room in between teaching classes, check your phone and see notifications on Twitter from your dad. your dad, who you’re in no way out to because you barely even talk to him. on Twitter, where one look at your profile totally outs you and links to your extremely personal and queer as all fuck YouTube channel. so not panicking. SO NOT PANICKING. been outted to a parent by social media before. it’s not like i wasn’t prepared for this to happen eventually. it’s not like i haven’t secretly been wanting this to happen because i didn’t feel like actually coming out to him directly. NO PROBLEM. so like…. do i call him now or what because he literally only calls me when there’s been an earthquake or some other disaster (or near disaster) in Japan. that, or it’s my birthday. ……..ugggghh. fucking…

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Vesper H.

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May 17, 2016

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July 27, 2016

QAC 36 – What Acephobia & Asexual Erasure Looks Like
April 27, 2015
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QAC 45 – Forced Out of the Closet: 2 Years Later | Coming Out Again (Non-Binary Bi / Pan Asexual)

January 26, 2016 / No Comments

it’s been 2 years since i was forced out of the closet by my mom; it’s been 5 months since my last video about how things are going with my family. this video is long, but it’s also long overdue. the past 5 months have been an emotional roller coaster. from breaking off communication with my mom, to coming out to my sister as bi / panromantic, to being met with further attempts at invalidation, to being “home” for the holidays, to coming out as non-binary to my sister, to FINALLY being referred to by my real name…. 2 years later, things are finally looking up. kind of. only time will tell what 2016 will bring. TRIGGER WARNING for sexual abuse & child abuse with a time jump point in the video itself so you can safely watch and skip the trigger. […] long video is long, but that’s what…

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Vesper H.

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March 17, 2016

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December 6, 2017
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QAC 37 – Forced Out of the Closet: 1.5 Years Later (Non-Binary Asexual)

June 16, 2015 / No Comments

it’s been nearly a year and a half since i was outted to my ultra religious mom as a non-binary, panromantic / biromantic asexual. things have been, and continue to be, rough between us at times… that said, there has been progress. it took well over a year, but she’s now making an effort to come to terms with part of my sexuality….? meanwhile continuing to completely reject my gender. thus far, the road to acceptance and understanding has been long and hard; sadly, as of now, that road still has no end in sight. ——— LINKS ——— QAC 13 – Staying In The Closet → https://youtu.be/NDyEAyNxoEg QAC 23 – Being Forced Out of the Closet → https://youtu.be/HStZgJ4Ewm8 snippets of conversations with my mom: → http://queerascat.tumblr.com/tagged/conversations-with-mom —————————–

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Vesper H.

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QAC 19 – Asexuality: An FAQ
October 25, 2013

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QAC 24.5 Life Update: Tokyo / Asexual Pride + Outted Again + More

June 3, 2014 / No Comments

lots has happened since my last video, so it’s time for a life update. because i talk too damn much: @00:00 – sorry for the lack of vids! @01:19 – Yukihari, my new hedgehog @03:07 – Tokyo Rainbow Pride + asexual pride @05:55 – LGBTQ cafe: gossip @06:54 – Japanese FTM magazine: Laph (full video coming soon) @07:50 – the GENDER book (full video coming soon) @08:34 – my first binders (full video coming soon) @09:10 – (rant) being outted again & again @17:09 – thanks ——————- LINKS ——————- Queer As Cat @Tumblr: http://queerascat.tumblr.com/ Yukihari’s blog; http://yukiharihari.tumblr.com/ Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2014 photos: http://queerascat.tumblr.com/tagged/Tokyo-Rainbow-Pride LGBT cafe “gossip”: http://gossip-cafe.com/ Laph (ラフ) magazine: http://laph-ftm.com/ the GENDER book: http://www.thegenderbook.com/

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Vesper H.

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QAC 30 – Gender Expression / Presentation Blurb
October 28, 2014

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QAC 23 – Being Forced Out of the Closet (Bi/Panromantic Non-binary Asexual)

February 24, 2014 / No Comments

long video is ridiculously long. sorry about that, but i had to vent somewhere. ====== NAVIGATION ===== @00:00 – and the story begins @04:46 – “i’m asexual.” @10:02 – “imma watch all your obviously private videos!” @14:06 – “don’t worry, everyone’s like that!” @17:05 – “omg stop saying that.” @22:00 – patience is golden @24:32 – her head didn’t exploded ====================== TL;DW: my mom found this channel and saw videos that i never wanted her to see and wasn’t ready for her to see. shit sucks. BUT my mom is doing her best with what she’s found out, which is good… even if her best is painful. anyway, patience patience….. and all that jazz. the cat’s out of the bag and is managing well enough thus far. hopefully time won’t make the cat regret being out of the bag…………… and i forgot to mention in the video that my mom…

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Vesper H.

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QAC 28 – On “Blackness”, Queer Identity & Intersectionality (a rant)
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