i hesitate to post this at all*, but i’ve been casually mulling it over for a little while now and am getting no where in keeping this to myself, so here goes nothing… there’s a relatively new word going around on Tumblr: alterous.
anonymous said: This may be a stupid question to ask, but what are the qualifications to classify yourself as an asexual? I think I may be one, but then again I do have my doubts and other people say I’m not, but I’m just not sure. Thanks if you can answer this, sorry if I’m a bother hi, anon. this isn’t a stupid question, nor are you a bother. 🙂 there are no “qualifications” as such, all that really matters (in so far as i’m concerned) is that identifying as asexual feels right for you. the most common definition of asexuality is experiencing sexual attraction towards no one, at least in part because many asexual people feel like that describes them. however, that isn’t the only way to come to identify as asexual and it certainly doesn’t describe everyone who is asexual. the determining factor to whether you’re asexual or not…
this post was triggered by three posts (tw: violence) posted recently by @nonbinary-support arguing against the use of aporagender, which has in turn triggered even more posts about race and gender.
anonymous said: Hi, Vesper! Please, be aware that I often struggle to accurately express myself (b/c autism+), but my request is for help with self-education re: gender. I have trouble reading/parsing academic/jargon-heavy texts, but I want to understand gender variances, esp. non-binary. (e.g., how is maverique distinct from agender?) It’s all very confusing, and I fear many transgenders will hate me b/c I’m cisgendered, b/c the things I see on my dash re: cishate are scary… I just want to understand. T^T Oh, crap, I meant to ask how maverique is distinct from genderqueer/non-binary. I found out on the gender wiki, though, that both non-binary and genderqueer are umbrella terms, so… I feel like I’m making an ass of myself. I think that I’ll probably never understand because I don’t have the same struggle, but I’d like to try. hi! don’t worry, you’re not making an ass of yourself. gender…
youtuber @ashleymardell just released part 1 of her long awaited trilogy on asexuality and aromanticism! this video series is about both asexuality and aromanticism and is part of a larger series of videos called “The ABC’s of LGBT”. you might be thinking that this is probably just another one of those asexuality or aromanticism 101 videos made by someone who isn’t ace or aro themselves, but that’s the thing. it’s actually not!
anonymous said: im whiteish so i dont feel comfortable speaking on this as if i know it personally but could i ask you… could that monosexual/allosexual argument be compared to colorism? like for example a lighter/paler person of X race is going to be oppressed on basis of race, but that doesnt stop them from being able to oppress a darker person of the same race. or lateral oppression between races, like if a black person and an east asian person call each other racial slurs it’s not like thats NOT racism… (in reference to this post) going to avoid discussing who has the potential to oppress who and all discussion of oppression in general that may lead to an Oppression Olympics, but… colorism is most certainly a thing, especially in the black community which is really the only community that i can speak personally of. imho, the trend of saying…
anonymous said: Asexual doesn’t mean “lack”, it’s not a *lack* of sexual interest, it’s just *little to no* sexual interest. It’s not missing, it’s just insignificant to the person who identifies as asexual. Asexuals aren’t broken. Asexuals aren’t missing parts. Asexuals can have sex lives, and still not have sexual attracted to anyone. (in response to this post) there are multiple things in this ask that i’d like to point out, so i’m going to use bullet points for the sake of clarity and ease. the whole point of that post was to say that there is more than one valid definition of what it means to be asexual. among those valid definitions is asexuality being a lack of sexual attraction. another valid definition is asexuality being little to no sexual attraction. some people in the asexual community do define asexuality in relation to sexual interest or desire. this is…
anonymous said: what is graysexual graysexual / gray-asexual is an umbrella term for people who experience sexual attraction infrequently, rarely, weakly, only under certain circumstances, etc and for people who feel a connection to asexuality but who do not identify specifically as asexual. see http://www.demigray.org/faq for more information.
anonymous said: Can nonbinary lesbians be monosexist? I’m bisexual and I used the term monosexual during a conversation with someone I’ve been seeing and they were not happy about it. They identify as genderqueer and a lesbian and said that the term monosexual limits who can identify as a lesbian and ignores nonbinary folk. I don’t feel like they were being monosexist but were they? I feel the term is useful but they had very valid points. monosexism, in short, is the belief that monosexualities (ie. heterosexuality and homosexuality) are the only “true” or “legit” sexualities. e.g. the belief that non-monosexuals (bisexuals, pansexuals, polysexuals etc) are “really just either straight or gay.” literally anyone of any sexuality or gender could hold such beliefs, so literally anyone could potentially be monosexist. however, your friend taking issue with the term monosexual (as some people do for various reasons) and saying that it limits who can…
happy Bi Visibility Day and Bi Awareness Week! 🙂 in this video i talk about what being biromantic and panromantic means to me, common questions i get about being bi and pan and why i identify as both rather than one or the other. i also talk about my journey to realizing my romantic orientation and how being black and being asexual played a part in that journey. ========= TIME POINTS ========= @00:00 – happy Bi Awareness Week & Bi Visibility Day! @00:39 – what is “biromantic” & “panromantic”? @01:20 – what being biro and panro means to me. @01:30 – FAQ: “but bi means two!!!“ @02:53 – FAQ: “but then how is bi different from pan???” @04:09 – FAQ: “but why do you identify as both bi & pan???“ @09:07 – coming out to myself at 27: race played a part in it. @10:56 – coming out to myself…
