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Antiblackness and Binarism: Grindr in Japan
posted with the permission of a friend, the above gem is but one of many examples of antiblack racism, transphobia and binarism that my friend is subjected to regularly on Grindr in Osaka and Tokyo. sharing it here as i often hear of this kind of thing happening on Grindr in English speaking countries, but see little about it beyond that. antiblackness is not unique to America or other English speaking countries, it is universal. and least there be any false assumptions made based on the above example being in English, my friend receives similar messages from non-English speakers in Japanese and has also received such messages during their time living in South Korea. this is Old News that is apparently Breaking News to some, but rest assured it most certainly is not Fake News.
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Preference Or Prejudice? | Queer Britain – Episode 4
blaqueer: From a mixed-race household with Middle Eastern and Irish heritage, Riyadh – with his unusual name and fair complexion – knows first-hand how judgemental the gay community online can be. With his perceived ‘white privilege’, he explores the casual racism in the LGBTQ+ community and asks, when does preference become prejudice? Queer Britain is a six-part series, and new episodes will be released each Sunday morning. cw: blatant racism, sexual objectification, explicit genitalia & sex talk… mind your triggers. there was one part of this where i had to pause the video (multiple times) and silently scream streams of expletives. guess when that was. come on, i dare you. suffice it to say that by the time the episode finally moved on from focusing on the gay scene, i was legit relieved. even so, residual silent screaming.
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CNN: “Trying to Find Love as a Trans Man”
CNN featured the story of a trans man’s experience with dating on their Snapchat today. the feature included video clips of an interview with both Gutierrez and his girlfriend and was also spotlighted on Snapchat’s “Discover” alongside a Cosmopolitan feature on demisexuality. read the article and see the interview in full on CNN.com.
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Q&A: “Do you have any dating advice for a fellow ace person?”
aarusiel said: Hey, Vesper. Do you have any dating advice for a fellow ace person? I feel like all I ever do is end up hurting the other person because I can’t meet their needs sexually. Is it better to just not date? …i’m afraid that i’m probably one of the least suitable people to answer this question for a variety of reasons. that said, i don’t think that there’s any reason for you to not date. when it comes to any kind of relationship, a big part of avoiding false expectations and assumptions that can lead to hurt feelings– and make no mistake, it’s that (imho) that’s the cause of the other person’s hurt feelings, not you being unable to compromise yourself for them– is communication. if you talk to each other and you make your boundaries clear (which can be done without actually coming out as ace,…
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Feedback: “Thanks for your most recent post re: saying no/transphobia/people’s need to express “no” being prioritized over the well-being of trans people.”
anonymous said: Thanks for your most recent post re: saying no/transphobia/people’s need to express “no” being prioritized over the well-being of trans people. I think you cut to the heart of it – it’s not reasonable to ask trans ppl (like me) to deprioritize discussing transness and transphobia once sexual consent gets brought up. That also assumes, IMO, that trans people are never in the group of ppl who need to say no and don’t have the tools?? Which, like, trans people (and trans women especially!) are targets for sexual violence and are often *especially* lacking access to “no”. Also I think it ties really grossly into “trans women as rapists” tropes (I’m AFAB so I hope I’m getting it right) – the fact that (presumably cis) people’s consent immediately becomes the ONLY IMPORTANT THING once trans people start talking about desirability and transness speaks to how cis people honestly…
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Q&A: “Im a lesbian and i am not attracted to penises at all. the girl im dating is trans and…”
anonymous said: Im a lesbian and i am not attracted to penises at all,the girl im dating is trans shes really great and im attracted to her but im unsure if i would enjoy having sex with her and i do not want her to be offened for not being attracted to her genitals hello, anon. you don’t seem to be asking a question in this ask, so i’m unsure what kind of response you’re looking for. that said, there seems to be something that you haven’t considered (or at least haven’t mentioned here) that i’d like to point out. while it’s good that you’re concerned about how your lack of attraction* to certain genitalia could be offensive to your girlfriend, you don’t seem to have considered her feelings beyond that? that she may not be comfortable having sex with you to begin with for various reasons. the topic…
