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Queer As Cat

gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

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  • Home
  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

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  • Q&A

    Q&A: “What are your thoughts on “passing” in the queer community?”

    October 27, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: What are your thoughts on “passing” in the queer community? Mostly in terms of being mistaken for a heterosexual couple and if this actually gives people privileges that people in non-heterosexual seeming queer relationships don’t have.   sorry for taking so long to reply, anon! it’s been one hellava week…. i’ve said this before in reference to other “het-blahblahblah privilege” arguments that people make, but i’ll say it again because it equally applies to this. having one’s identity erased by society due to heteronormativity is not a privilege. i will shout this from the rooftops until the end of time. society literally assumes that e v e r y o n e is straight until “proven otherwise”, i don’t care if that person is a lesbian, gay, asexual or anything else. and yet, for some odd reason *cough*biphobia*cough* i don’t see people making the argument that a lesbian, for example, accesses “straight…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “I’m about a 2 on the Kinsey scale. Am I bi?”

    September 24, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hi, so I’m about a 2 on the Kinsey scale. Am I bi? Do I still have the right to call myself bi? I don’t know I feel like I’m not bi enough there is no such thing as being “not bi enough”. the only thing that determines your identity is how you yourself identify. this is but one of the many reasons why i despise the Kinsey Scale, actually. it implies that there is some kind of sliding scale of “straightness”, “gayness” or “biness”, which is utter bullshit. no one need fulfill some arbitrary minimal requirement of “biness” or order to identity as bi. nor does anyone need to have some arbitrary minimal amount of experience with more than one gender in order to identify as bi. no one need prove nor justify their bi identity to anyone. that includes struggling to justify it to yourself, imho. if you feel like…

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    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  Black[ness],  Queer[ness],  YouTube[r]

    QAC 39 – Biromantic + Panromantic Pride! | Being Both Bi & Pan

    September 23, 2015 / No Comments

    happy Bi Visibility Day and Bi Awareness Week! 🙂 in this video i talk about what being biromantic and panromantic means to me, common questions i get about being bi and pan and why i identify as both rather than one or the other. i also talk about my journey to realizing my romantic orientation and how being black and being asexual played a part in that journey. ========= TIME POINTS ========= @00:00 – happy Bi Awareness Week & Bi Visibility Day! @00:39 – what is “biromantic” & “panromantic”? @01:20 – what being biro and panro means to me. @01:30 – FAQ: “but bi means two!!!“ @02:53 – FAQ: “but then how is bi different from pan???” @04:09 – FAQ: “but why do you identify as both bi & pan???“ @09:07 – coming out to myself at 27: race played a part in it. @10:56 – coming out to myself…

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    Vesper H.

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    Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2016: Asexual & Trans / Non-binary Awesomeness!

    May 14, 2016

    botched allyship & language barriers #TRP2017

    May 11, 2017

    Burnt Out & Neurotic: The Toll of Blogging While Ace and Mentally Ill

    December 26, 2018
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “I like most genders but not male so am I poly?”

    September 19, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I like most genders but not male so am I poly? I always said I am biromantic and like most genders but not male, however am I actually polyromantic, not biromantic?   first of all i’d like to throw out my personal definition of these two identities/orientations so that we’re on the same page. biromantic: romantic attraction to two or more genders. polyromantic: romantic attraction to multiple genders. given the definitions above, biromantic and polyromantic are not mutually exclusive. there is overlap between the two definitions; “two or more” is analogous with “multiple”, the main difference is semantic. having said that, that isn’t to say that biromantic is analogous with polyromantic. both orientations are also identities. identities which are tied to their own respective histories, communities, etc, which are often tied to that of the bisexual and polysexual communities at large. the point i’m trying to make is…

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    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “People know me as “straight” but I am afraid to come out as bisexual when I really haven’t had any experience with girls.”

    September 10, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Ever since elementary school I have looked at girls the same way I look at guys, but when I was younger I never thought anything of it. In 6th grade my first kiss was a girl, just a quick peck; since then I’ve only been with guys. I’m currently in a serious relationship with a guy, but lately I have been putting a lot of thought into my sexuality. People know me as “straight” but I am afraid to come out as bisexual when I really haven’t had any experience with girls.   hello, anon! my apologies for taking so long to respond to your ask. ;( being in a relationship definitely makes coming out more challenging. on top of that, coming out as bi presents even more unique challenges. for one thing, people are likely to try and question or invalidate your sexuality because of your ‘lack of…

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    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “Can I still be considered bi?”

    August 1, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I have a question, sorry if you’ve been asked similiar ones before. I’m sure you have. I’m a female and I like men and nb genders. I feel like I like other females too, but not to the same degree. I can see myself doing some sexual things with them, and I am attracted to the female body. But I don’t know if I would go all the way with sex with a woman. I feel like this somehow makes me less bi :/ I guess my question is: can I still be considered bi?   yes. 150% yes. it’s totally a misconception that bi people (and multisexual/multiromantic people in general) experience attraction equally or in the same exact way towards all of the genders that they are attracted to. this is nothing more than a misconception. a very harmful and often biphobic misconception– or even stereotype. more…

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    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • Q&A

    Q&A: ” I’ve always identified sexually as bi, but maybe I’m homo?”

    August 1, 2015 / No Comments

    coffeeartheart said: So I watched your video ‘QAC 03’ and Its a lot to take in. I’m 20 and it just occurred to me that I may be (if I got it right) a Biromantic Homosexual but I was looking for conformation: What if I love ladies sexually in both a visual and physical way and I find guys attractive in a sexual way and want them to hold me, but the moment things get even remotely sexual it’s like I thought of dead puppies. I’ve always identified sexually as bi, but maybe I’m homo? Sorry for my personal inquiries..   hi! sorry for taking so long to respond to your ask. your ask itself is most certainly not something you need apologize for! a common misconception that people have is that bisexual are assumed to be equally attracted to all of the genders that they are attracted to. while…

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    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “Do you think that would be poly or bi? I don’t feel I’m straight because of the attraction to nonbinary individuals, but…”

    June 25, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I’m questioning currently. I’m female but attracted to males, demiboys, and some agender and genderfluid individuals. But mostly masculine presenting nb individuals. Do you think that would be poly or bi? I don’t feel I’m straight because of the attraction to nonbinary individuals. But I’m MOSTLY attracted to masculinity.   hello, anon. i’ll be honest, this is kind of a tough ask for me to answer. it sounds like you’re looking to define your sexuality based on the appearance or gender expression of the people you are attracted to, whereas my understanding of attraction (in terms of orientations) is more based on a person’s gender identity rather than how a person presents themself. you said that you are mostly attracted to masculinity. people of literally ANY gender can present themselves in a masculine manner. does this mean that you could potentially be attracted to a masculine person of…

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    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “What is the best way to help myself figure out [whether I’m bi or pan]?”

    June 7, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: So I can’t tell if I am closer to pan or bi because I live in an area where most people are male or female. What is the best way to help myself figure that out?   listen to your heart and go with whichever word you feel describes you. you don’t have to have experience with a person of every gender to identify as one or the other. just go with what feels right based on how you feel now and in the future, if it turns out that another word describes you better, than you can switch to using that word if you so choose. just checking, but do you know that both may describe you? because there is overlap between the two. [+bonus reading]

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    Vesper H.

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    April 5, 2018

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  • [A]sexuality,  Gender[queer],  Japan[ese],  Queer[ness],  YouTube[r]

    QAC 22 – LGBTQ J-Magazines: Garçon Girls + Novia Novia

    February 10, 2014 / No Comments

    so i got my hands on a couple of really interesting Japanese magazines and decided to make a video about them in the middle of a snowstorm when i was dead tired. what the hell was i thinking? sorry for the crappiness of this video! それともビデオが日本語じゃなくて英語で録画して、ごめんね!日本語が難しすぎからだ。(´Д`)

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    Vesper H.

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    QAC 48 – Non-Binary Gender Norms & (A)sexuality: Yeah, No.

    March 27, 2016

    identity politics leave little room for agency; a thought.

    July 21, 2017

    on the discrepancy between “asexual” in English & Japanese and confusion regarding demisexuality.

    May 12, 2017
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VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

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Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

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