everyone outside of the ace community automatically reads your bi identity as ‘bisexual’ and everyone within the ace community automatically reads your bi identity as ‘biromantic’ because everyone assumes forgets that a person can just simply be bi or that there’s more to a person’s sexuality than just -sexual / -romantic.
anonymous said: okay. so. why are pan and bi both terms if they can mean the same thing? (i have googled this, trust me) …gonna take a stab in the dark and guess that this is in response to this post where no one ever said that they mean the same thing. well fear not, confused anon! unlike Google, i have an entire tag (or four) dedicated to your very question! may i direct you, dear anon, to my #bi vs pan tag in particular, as well as to these two posts in that tag: “what’s the difference between bi and pan?” (hint: there is a difference) “why does it matter if the definitions of bisexuality overlap with the definitions of…?” (hint: it doesn’t matter) and no, lovely anon, my sarcasm is not meant as condescension! i just found the tone of your ask mildly annoying, so i thought i might as well jump onto…
everyone experiences the intersection(s) of their gender and their sexuality in different ways, but i’ve seen little thought or attention given to how a biphobia affects bi non-binary people even within bi communities, despite the fact that non-binary erasure and binarism often occur hand-in-hand with biphobia. in this video i give air to three (3) of my biggest frustrations or ‘pet-peeves’ regarding intersections of biphobia, non-binary erasure and binarism that i experience both within and outside of the LGBTQIA+ community. ========JUMP SPOTS ========== @ 01:00 ~ 1. insisting on defining bi(sexuality) as attraction to both / two genders hint: some bi people define their bi identity in this way and that is entirely valid, however these definitions are no longer the most common ones among bi people for reasons. @ 03:55 ~ 2. claiming that bi(sexuality) is inherently binarist hint: stop using the existence of non-binary people as a means…
anonymous said: Hi There. My boyfriend has just confessed to me that he is also sexually attracted to men but he is not attracted to them outside of the bedroom. I was reading something online and found out that he might be a heteroromantic bisexual. I would just like to know if there are cases wherein a heteroromantic bisexual man can become a fully homosexual man? Has there been cases that you know of when this has happened? Thank you for your time. hello, anon. for anyone there is a possibility that one’s sexuality may change or that one might discover something new about oneself that one didn’t previously know. this is as true for you as it is for your boyfriend and for anyone else. in fact, this was true even before your boyfriend came out to you. however, the fact that you’ve became concerned about this upon discovering…
anonymous said: Eyy, i have a question if i’m agender and i like cis girls and genderqueer people… What’s my sexual orientation? yeaaah, putting a name to one’s orientation does get complicated when non-binary people are involved, doesn’t it? that said, i’m afraid i can’t tell you what your sexual orientation is. that’s something that you’ll have to decide. there are non-binary and/or agender people who are attracted to girls and genderqueer people who identify as bi since bi is defined as attraction to two or more genders, but there are also non-binary and/or agender people who experience similar attraction but don’t identify as bi. what matters most is what word / identity feels “right” to you. whatever word / identity that may be, try running with that and see how it feels. you can always change it if it doesn’t feel right. 🙂 sidenote: i’m assuming you have reasons for…
anonymous said: I think opression is a determining factors for the LGBT+ community, isnt the opression we shared what ended up bringing us together (re: this post) …this response started out short, but then it turned into me venting. sorry, anon. sure, for some it is a major– possibly even a determining– factor of their personal identity as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community. but like i said, imho, it isn’t the determining factor. even if one person does feel like it is the determining factor of their personal identity, it is a mistake to then assume that that holds true for everyone. not everyone’s identity is determined in part or entirely by their oppression. on top of that, oppression isn’t even something one can measure to determine whether someone is “oppressed enough” to have the right to identify as a part of the community. if someone was to try and measure…
anonymous said: I’m having a hard time lately. I have been trying online dating for awhile (tinder etc. guys only) and am finding I get bored really fast and have no interest to carry on conversations or meet up – maybe I just have no desire to date right now. Lately I’ve also been noticing that when I go out I tend to notice the girls in the room before the guys. I’m starting to wonder if maybe I’m bisexual, or biromantic? How do you know the difference between that and just appreciating people who look nice? personally, if i’m experiencing aesthetic attraction (ie. in admiration of someone’s looks), it’s very similar to being in admiration of anything else. i love their sense of style or their overall look and that may trigger the desire to approach them and compliment them, but the admiration or attraction ends there if that’s…
anonymous said: For the anon looking for a word / term: I’ve heard of heteroflexible and gayflexible which means you’re usually attracted to the other / same gender but sometimes also the same / other gender. I could also imagine biflexible and so on… (in response to this anon) heteroflexible and homoflexible (i’ve never heard of gayflexible nor biflexible) are words that i’m familiar with, but they’re also words that i personally don’t care to suggest to people. for one, the way i’ve seen these words defined and used seems problematic to me. let’s look at their definitions, for example. Heteroflexibility is a form of a sexual orientation or situational sexual behavior characterized by minimal homosexual activity in an otherwise primarily heterosexual orientation that is considered to distinguish it from bisexuality. (Wikipedia) [Homoflexiblity] describes someone attracted primarily to members of the same sex (homosexual), but occasionally attracted to members of the…
anonymous said: what is the difference between bisexual and polysexual? whenever i ask this i get a wishy-washy answer and I am hoping you can clear this up for me? thanks. hi, anon. may i recommend checking out my bi vs poly tag? you’ll find more in-depth answers to your question there. the short answer is that being bi and being poly means different things to different people. common definitions of the two are: bi: attraction to two or more genders. poly: attraction to multiple, but not necessarily all, genders. there can be and often is overlap between these two identities. again, please see my bi vs poly tag for more about that. that said, chances are high that you’ve in fact already come across similar responses to your question before and that you will consider my response to be as “wishy-washy” as the rest. i say this because in my…
anonymous said: Can nonbinary lesbians be monosexist? I’m bisexual and I used the term monosexual during a conversation with someone I’ve been seeing and they were not happy about it. They identify as genderqueer and a lesbian and said that the term monosexual limits who can identify as a lesbian and ignores nonbinary folk. I don’t feel like they were being monosexist but were they? I feel the term is useful but they had very valid points. monosexism, in short, is the belief that monosexualities (ie. heterosexuality and homosexuality) are the only “true” or “legit” sexualities. e.g. the belief that non-monosexuals (bisexuals, pansexuals, polysexuals etc) are “really just either straight or gay.” literally anyone of any sexuality or gender could hold such beliefs, so literally anyone could potentially be monosexist. however, your friend taking issue with the term monosexual (as some people do for various reasons) and saying that it limits who can…
