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Queer As Cat

gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

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  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

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  • [A]sexuality,  [Random] Thoughts,  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness]

    them gay enbian feels

    October 16, 2016 / No Comments

    archiving Twitter stuff. again. i should really stop saying meaningful (to me) things on Twitter where it’ll disappear into my feed beyond retrieval. that or, you know, i could just rehash the same thoughts directly on Tumblr… but where’s the fun in that? anyway, random thoughts on being bi / pan and enbian– wooo…. but see, it gets even ““gayer”” because by “nbs like themself” i totally mean non-binary people who are like me and i don’t just mean in that they’re also non-binary. for one, binary people aren’t the only people who can be (hyper)masculine and / or (hyper)feminine. secondly, masculinity / femininity isn’t even a defining factor of attraction for me, even if it can be a potential point of aversion… my understanding of my own attraction may be nearly as nebulous as my actual experience with it, but if there’s one thing that i know for sure it’s that any attraction i do…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “Can a person be bi and just don’t enjoy some type of genitalia?”

    October 12, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hi! i have a bit of an akward question: Can a person be bi and just don’t enjoy some type of genitalia? I’m bi and i dislike penises. There’s no way around it, i’ve tried a few and they just don’t do i for me. My LGBTI friends of course tell me i’m actually a lesbian, but that’s not it. It doesn’t matter the gender of the person attatched to the penis, i just don’t like the thing and it freaks me out because what if i’m faking it? Can i be bi and don’t like dick? hi anon, anyone, regardless of their sexual orientation, can be averse to or repulsed by genitalia. genitalia aversion / repulsion– or any other kind of aversion / repulsions for that matter– does not define your sexuality unless you feel like it does. who you’re attracted to (or not attracted to), how…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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  • Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I am having trouble with my gender, and am looking for some advice?”

    June 12, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I am having trouble with my gender, and am looking for some advice? I was AFAB, but was stuck in a disgustingly misogynistic environment from the time I was 9 (19 now) until just a few months ago. For the past several years, I’ve had a strong aversion to anything stereotypically seen as “female,” and experienced a lot of issues with the way my body is seen. I’ve tried using every other pronoun set and gender I can think of, and none of them make me feel any better. I don’t know what to do. if you don’t had any animosity or otherwise negative feelings towards your name, you could ask people to always refer to you by your name instead of pronouns. some people prefer to go by their name until they find a pronoun that feels right to them and others go by their name indefinitely,…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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  • [A]sexuality,  Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “Would it be transphobic of them to turn down the sex and instead just cuddle it out?”

    March 8, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hey! So a hypothetical question about that last post. (Pardon my assumptions on this kind of attraction, I’m aroace and trying to learn) Say someone is panromantic, but are not sexually attracted to/repulsed by penises. What if they’re dating someone for a while and are romantically very interested in them. They go to the bedroom for the first time and find out the person they were dating has a penis. Would it be transphobic of them to turn down the sex and instead just cuddle it out? (in reference to this post) if at any point or for any reason a person is uncomfortable with or does not desire sex, they are never in the wrong for voicing that and saying no to sex. this would not be transphobic at all, imho.

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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  • Q&A

    Q&A: “…why are lesbians who don’t want to have sex with women with gentalia that repulses them considered transphobic?”

    October 13, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Different anon but I have a q about something u said in the last anon q you answered. If it is okay for people to be repulsed by certain genitalia than why do lesbians who don’t want to have sex with women with gentalia that repulses them considered transphobic? This is something I’ve seen in a lot of places on tumblr. Can you speak more about being repulsed by certain genitalia being okay?   [this is in reference to this post] *takes a deep breath, steadying themself for potential backlash from this post* …the following is my opinion, but there is a difference between: defining your orientation based solely on the genitalia you do or do not find repulsive.* (ie. saying that you’re a lesbian or gynosexual because you’re repulsed by penises.) defining your orientation based on your attraction to X (Y, Z) gender(s) and then adding a…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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  • Q&A

    Q&A: “Im a lesbian and i am not attracted to penises at all. the girl im dating is trans and…”

    June 7, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Im a lesbian and i am not attracted to penises at all,the girl im dating is trans shes really great and im attracted to her but im unsure if i would enjoy having sex with her and i do not want her to be offened for not being attracted to her genitals   hello, anon. you don’t seem to be asking a question in this ask, so i’m unsure what kind of response you’re looking for. that said, there seems to be something that you haven’t considered (or at least haven’t mentioned here) that i’d like to point out. while it’s good that you’re concerned about how your lack of attraction* to certain genitalia could be offensive to your girlfriend, you don’t seem to have considered her feelings beyond that? that she may not be comfortable having sex with you to begin with for various reasons. the topic…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

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Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

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