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Queer As Cat

gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

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  • Home
  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

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  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I’m starting to wonder if maybe I’m bisexual, or biromantic?”

    February 23, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I’m having a hard time lately. I have been trying online dating for awhile (tinder etc. guys only) and am finding I get bored really fast and have no interest to carry on conversations or meet up – maybe I just have no desire to date right now. Lately I’ve also been noticing that when I go out I tend to notice the girls in the room before the guys. I’m starting to wonder if maybe I’m bisexual, or biromantic? How do you know the difference between that and just appreciating people who look nice? personally, if i’m experiencing aesthetic attraction (ie. in admiration of someone’s looks), it’s very similar to being in admiration of anything else. i love their sense of style or their overall look and that may trigger the desire to approach them and compliment them, but the admiration or attraction ends there if that’s…

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    Vesper H.

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  • Feedback

    Feedback: “I JUST WATCHED YOUR GENDER TAG VIDEO AND ????????”

    February 16, 2016 /

    anonymous said: I JUST WATCHED YOUR GENDER TAG VIDEO AND ???????? I’M MAVERIQUE AND ACE TOO AND JUST ?????????????? HOW DID THIS HAPPEN WHAT IS THIS MAGIC just yeah I got really excited and wanted to say hey (also is the black ring you’re wearing in it an ace ring or something else?) hi! thanks for watching and stopping by. it is cool that we have those things in common. 🙂 the black ring that i wear on my right middle finger is an ace ring to me, yes. 🙂 although i must admit that i have a thing for rings and the color black in general, so i’d probably be wearing it even if i wasn’t ace lol…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A not Q&A: “I’ve heard of heteroflexible and gayflexible which means…”

    February 14, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: For the anon looking for a word / term: I’ve heard of heteroflexible and gayflexible which means you’re usually attracted to the other / same gender but sometimes also the same / other gender. I could also imagine biflexible and so on… (in response to this anon) heteroflexible and homoflexible (i’ve never heard of gayflexible nor biflexible) are words that i’m familiar with, but they’re also words that i personally don’t care to suggest to people. for one, the way i’ve seen these words defined and used seems problematic to me. let’s look at their definitions, for example. Heteroflexibility is a form of a sexual orientation or situational sexual behavior characterized by minimal homosexual activity in an otherwise primarily heterosexual orientation that is considered to distinguish it from bisexuality. (Wikipedia) [Homoflexiblity] describes someone attracted primarily to members of the same sex (homosexual), but occasionally attracted to members of the…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    March 3, 2016

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    September 18, 2017

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    July 21, 2013
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “Is there a specific term for being primarily and largely attracted to a gender and…”

    February 11, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Is there a specific term for being primarily and largely attracted to a gender, and experiencing occasional attraction to an additional gender? i’m afraid i don’t know of a word for this… perhaps my followers do? i think that there are many people who identify as lesbian, gay, bi, pan etc who would love for such a word to exist so that they could more readily describe their attraction…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    May 6, 2016

    Re: “”Visibility””

    September 18, 2017
  • Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “How do you know you’re maverique?”

    February 9, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: How do you know you’re maverique? Because I don’t know how to have a sense of this gender nor do I have anyone to talk to about. hi, anon. 🙂 i think this post pretty much answers your question, but also check out this post where i respond to someone else who is trying to get a sense of their own gender. i know it can be really tough not having anyone to talk to about something like this, but you’re not alone! i know that talking to strangers on the internet isn’t the same as actually sitting down and talking to someone, but the internet can still be a great place to start meeting people with whom you can talk to about something like this. hell, you’re already here talking to me about it. 🙂 i’m more than happy to lend a ear and help if i…

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    Vesper H.

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    June 19, 2018

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  • Q&A

    Q&A: “is it ever okay to ask someone what their biological sex is?”

    February 4, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: sorry if this is a stupid question but is it ever okay to ask someone what their biological sex is? like maybe if you’re close enough or they’re open enough and you’re just curious or whatever would that be acceptable or is it considered rude? there is no “yes” or “no” answer to this question. how a person will feel about a personal question like that is entirely dependent upon the the person being asked, the relationship that the asker has with that person and the context within which the question is being asked, among other things. ultimately such information is none of anyone else’s business and it’s up to the person being asked to decide if they feel like disclosing such information to you. if for some reason you feel like you cannot keep such a question to yourself, the best you can do is ask as politely and…

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    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “what are the qualifications to classify yourself as an asexual?”

    February 3, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: This may be a stupid question to ask, but what are the qualifications to classify yourself as an asexual? I think I may be one, but then again I do have my doubts and other people say I’m not, but I’m just not sure. Thanks if you can answer this, sorry if I’m a bother hi, anon. this isn’t a stupid question, nor are you a bother. 🙂 there are no “qualifications” as such, all that really matters (in so far as i’m concerned) is that identifying as asexual feels right for you. the most common definition of asexuality is experiencing sexual attraction towards no one, at least in part because many asexual people feel like that describes them. however, that isn’t the only way to come to identify as asexual and it certainly doesn’t describe everyone who is asexual. the determining factor to whether you’re asexual or not…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “where do you personally consider the line between white and poc to be?”

    January 30, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: where do you personally consider the line between white and poc to be? I’ve heard some arguments about Mediterranean people not being white (tho ive always thought they were??) and arguments that ethnically Jewish people are white (??) and as a white person (sorry) i dont think i have a say in what is poc or not. regardless, what are your thoughts? “where do you personally consider the line between white and poc to be?” the answer to this question is easy: i personally consider the line to be no where because i don’t draw one to begin with. some may think me naive for this, but i personally do not give any thought as to whether X ethnic group of people are white or people of color. why would i? what purpose would that serve? “person of color” is an identity. if someone is a person of…

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    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “Is there a term for sexuality being constantly fluid?”

    January 30, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Is there a term for sexuality being constantly fluid? Like the sexual orientation version of genderfluid? hi anon! sorry for not replying sooner. i’m not aware of a specific term for when someone experiences constant sexual fluidity, but that certainly doesn’t mean that one doesn’t exist. perhaps my followers know of such a term and can help you out? i know that some people (multisexual people especially) experience fluctuations in regards to the gender(s) that they are attracted at any given time throughout their life, but i’m guessing that that isn’t what you’re referring to. followers? know of anything that might help anon?

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    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “What are some good ways to feel your gender?”

    January 19, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: What are some good ways to feel your gender? I don’t know how to feel what my gender really is because I have no one to talk to about this irl.   hi! sorry for taking so long to reply to your ask. you might find this post helpful, where i talk about what gender is (to me) and how i have a strong sense of my own gender. also, check out this post where i talk about what makes me so sure of my own gender. the only real advice i have, if any, is to keep in mind that it’s absolutely okay to not be sure of your gender; to try to be more mindful of your own feelings and experiences (past & present); to allow yourself the time and space to question yourself. it’s all too easy to feel like you have to put a specific…

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    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
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VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

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Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

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