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gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

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  • Home
  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

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  • [A]sexuality,  Japan[ese],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I was wondering if you know of any articles or websites about what it’s like being ace in Japan…”

    August 20, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hi there….I was wondering if you know of any articles or websites about what it’s like being ace in Japan (especially from the perspective of any ace people who are natively Japanese). I’m just interested in reading people’s experiences, where they learned about asexuality, etc. I tried searching google, but so much acephobic garbage came up that I had to finally shut down my browser. D: aside from the things that @harris-hijiri​ writes, which aren’t necessarily about the experience of being ace in Japan, i’m afraid that i don’t know of personal writing on being ace in Japan as a Japanese person that’s written in English. i tried searching for some, but i swear if i come across another article on herbivore men or ‘the japanese sex/population crisis’ written from a Western-centric point of view i’m going to throw my laptop out the goddamn window. everything that i could…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    November 14, 2015

    Asexy Aces at Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2014 (04/27/2014)

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    1978 Call Out Culture Is Fierce…! lmao

    November 26, 2018
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “So I think that I’m aromantic?”

    August 15, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: So I think that I’m aromantic? Because like in all my 20 years of living I’ve never ever had any kind of crush or romantic feelings at all. The thing is, the idea of being in a romantic relationship sounds really nice to me. Is it possible to be aro but want to be in a romantic relationship? Like although I don’t get any kind of desire in regards to romance I still kinda want a relationship… I’m so confused it most certainly is possible to be aromantic and to want to be in a romantic relationship. while it is true that some aro people do not want to be in a romantic relationship, being aromantic is still by no means synonymous with not wanting to be in a romantic relationship. in my humble opinion, being aromantic in and of itself says nothing about the types of relationships…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

    You May Also Like

    AskAPan Week 08 – How I Discovered Pansexuality / Panromanticism

    July 12, 2013

    tfw TERFs.

    March 1, 2017

    QAC 04 – Why I Identify as Panromantic & Biromantic

    May 24, 2013
  • Art[sy Fartsy],  Q&A

    Q&A not Q&A: “Do you know the queer artist Ezra Furman?”

    August 10, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Do you know the queer artist Ezra Furman? I’m mad about him. i hadn’t heard of him, actually, but i looked him up thanks to this ask. the music style isn’t what i tend to listen to, but i still enjoyed it and the music videos especially (because cinematography as an extension of photography is totally my thing). Ezra Furman is definitely an artist that i recommend others check out. thanks for the heads up, anon! 🙂

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    September 15, 2016

    insert self-indulgence here.

    August 16, 2017

    Asexy Aces at Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2014 (04/27/2014)

    May 7, 2014
  • Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “Do you have any tips for dealing with an unsupportive family?”

    August 10, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Do you have any tips for dealing with an unsupportive family? See, I came out as nb/pan awhile ago and while they weren’t happy they weren’t bad about it. However, me and my father got into a massive fight in which he yelled at me that he’ll never see me as anything other than my agab, and a whole litany of other homophobic and transphobic comments. I haven’t been talking to him because it’s far too painful to do so, but now my mother says I’ve rejected him and am causing too much tension and that I’m tearing the family apart, and that I need to get over it because I’m being selfish. How do I smooth things over with my family, because I don’t want to tear my family apart, and look after myself at the same time? This situation is causing a lot of mental strain.…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “My husband has known I’m more ace than anything else… he just told me he hasnt been telling…”

    August 8, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hey, I rly just need an outward view. My husband has known I’m more ace than anything else(pretty sure I’m full ace, pan-rom but still figuring that out)&he just told me he hasnt been telling me when he’s had sexual feelings for me because it’s “not a thing you want and I don’t want to feel like an asshole for having sexual feelings.”I explained the difference between attraction&arousal&now he is really not ok with me not having sexual attraction towards him(cause he just realised it maybe?) I have no idea what to do because he can get rly insecure and he has no idea about the pan thing. I’ve mentioned poly things too, not saying I want it but if he did I’d be okay to try it, but he said he’s done if I ever want anything like it. I guess I just feel weird about things…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    「やがて君になる」/ “Yagate Kimi ni Naru”: an aro/ace coded, sapphic ‘love story’…?

    October 8, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    QAC 23 – Being Forced Out of the Closet (Bi/Panromantic Non-binary Asexual)

    February 24, 2014
  • Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I really have a problem when I want to speak about neutral people in French.”

    August 3, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hi. I really have a problem when I want to speak about neutral people in French. For the pronouns, there’s only a translation for ‘it’ or ‘that’ and that sounds weird. ‘They’ can only be masculine or feminine. A woman and a man, it becomes masculine. Misogynistic. The same for words and adjectives. You can only be a masculine or a feminine trans. You can’t be happy, you’re a happy girl or a happy boy. Articles, pronouns & adjectives are not neutral. So how can I speak about you for example? yeah… as a native English speaker who speaks only a smidgen of (vraiment un petit brin de) French, i can only imagine how much of a pain in the ass it must be to speak in a gender neutral way about someone… and as you’ve pointed out, there’s also a lot of patriarchy and misogyny build into…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    May 15, 2017

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    February 16, 2014

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    July 27, 2017
  • Q&A

    Q&A not Q&A: “I know I do too I’m sorry if it came out the wrong way…”

    August 3, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I know I do too I’m sorry if it came out the wrong way 🙁 I wanted to write something different because I hate the word normal but I was like 2 characters over the limit :/ I apologize. But thanks a lot for the answer! (I should’ve used common but I couldn’t think of the word because english isn’t my first language) (re: this post) it didn’t come out the wrong way at all, anon. i could tell that you yourself did not like using the word “normal” because you put it in quotes. no worries! i just commented on the “normal” thing anyway because a lot of people do use that wording and i always feel the need to push back against that, even when doing so is unnecessary… sorry if what i said made you feel like you did something wrong, anon, because you certainly didn’t. <3

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • Feedback,  Gender[queer],  Q&A

    Q&A: “I’m the anon reading lexicons in order to find a word…”

    August 2, 2016 /

    anonymous said: I’m the anon reading lexicons in order to find a word to describe myself. Thank you very much for taking so much time for me, for your long, very interesting and helpful answer. In fact, I was only looking for a single word because everybody here seems to have one (they say ‘hi I’m this or that’) and it was driving me crazy that there wasn’t one for me. I thought everyone but me had a word that suited completely. You put my mind at ease. You’re right I should find my own combination of words. (re: this post) no problem, anon. thanks for coming back and responding. 🙂 even though it may feel like everyone has a particular word / identity / label that describes them completely, rest assured that that totally is not the case. not everyone is able to (or even wants to) put a…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “Feelings, love, romance on one side separate from sex on the other side. Sexual desire or romantic love for one person but never both….”

    August 2, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: You asked for help concerning the 2 anons in the same situation. It seems to me they separate love life and sex life. Feelings, love, romance on one side separate from sex on the other side. Sexual desire or romantic love for one person but never both for the same person. Sex and romance seem incompatible. Sadly I can’t think of one and only term that includes the 2 parts of this orientation. (re: these posts) i have no way of actually knowing whether or not the two anons are referring to the exact same thing, but… i feel like saying “they separate love life and sex life” is oversimplifying things and kind of suggests that it’s something that they decidedly do rather than just being how they experience things, even though i know you probably didn’t mean to imply that. i do get what you (and the other…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    QAC 13 – Staying In The Closet

    August 11, 2013

    Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2016 musings

    May 15, 2016

    fuck your Oppression Olympics

    September 15, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “I think I’m a cis girl but I’ve discovered that I don’t mind if someone would call me by other pronouns…”

    August 1, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hey 🙂 I think I’m a cis girl but I’ve discovered that I don’t mind if someone would call me by other pronouns than she/her or call me a dude or something. On some days I feel more masculine and I feel more feminine. Is that “normal”? i’m a strong believer in there being no such thing as “normal” and that what most people consider to be “normal” is really just “common”, but anyway… is that common among cis girls? i’m afraid that i have no idea. based on what i’ve heard, i wouldn’t say that it’s uncommon. then again, i’d also like to point out that whether it’s common or not says nothing about your gender anyway. everyone, regardless of whether they’re cis, trans and / or non-binary, has their own unique relationship with and feelings about the language used to refer to them and how they feel about their…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
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VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

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Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

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