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Queer As Cat

gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

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  • Home
  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

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pen. ink. paper: journaling as self-care

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January 27, 2019

? queer is

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October 17, 2017

QAC 75.5 – Life Update: Leaving Japan?! | Legal Name Change | Goodbye Locs

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March 5, 2019

one of many reasons why “QUEER” means so much to me.

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September 23, 2016

5 years and counting…

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May 14, 2018
  • "Gender is a Much More Beautifully Complex Thing Than Society Would Have You Believe"- Ditch the Label
    Gender[queer],  Queer[ness]

    “Gender is a Much More Beautifully Complex Thing Than Society Would Have You Believe”- Ditch the Label

    October 18, 2016 / No Comments

    Life would be easier if it came with a guidebook. If it did, maybe it wouldn’t have taken me 27 years to realize that I didn’t actually have to subscribe to society’s assertion that everyone is either male or female. At the very least, ripping the book to shreds in a fit of rage would have made for great stress relief. Then again, had there been such a book I probably wouldn’t have grown up to be the person that I am today and I wouldn’t change that for the world. Hello, my name’s Vesper. I’m a 31 year old non-binary person who’s here today to tell you that gender is a much more beautifully complex thing than society would have you believe. That some people, such as myself, are neither male nor female but a different gender(s) entirely. […] when @ditchthelabel, an international anti-bullying charity, approached me about writing…

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    Vesper H.

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    March 3, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I have a question about the definition of bisexuality.”

    October 18, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hi! I have a question about the definition of bisexuality. I’ve been using a “same + different” -definition and that’s what I’ve seen being used the most. “Two or more” is alright, but if “same gender” is not required, why is it not under heterosexuality? I’m assuming the reason is political, but I want to be sure. hello anon, i’m guessing that this ask is related to this post where i say that i personally find defining bi as attraction to “same and different / other gender(s)” to be problematic. there’s actually nothing “political” about why a person doesn’t have to experience attraction towards people of the “same” or “similar” gender to be bi. that is, unless you consider the feelings and experiences of bi non-binary people to be “political,” which i sincerely hope not. the reason why i personally, as well as many others, find the “same and different / other” definition of bi to…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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  • Q&A

    Q&A: “is there a reason that orientation is based solely on which gender(s) you’re attracted to?”

    October 18, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: i’ve been wondering lately – is there a reason that orientation is based solely on which gender(s) you’re attracted to? why CAN’T an orientation define who you’re attracted to based on other factors? i get that would allow for things like sapiosexual and whatnot which is…yikes. but i almost feel like that’s PART of why ppl have like…a kneejerk reaction to “”mogai”” orientations maybe? idk i’m probably missing something abt it not all orientations are based solely on which gender(s) someone is attracted to. off the top of my head, some examples of orientations that aren’t solely based on that (if even based on that at all) are lith*, demi*, gray*, and a* but there are many more, of course. that said, i’m guessing you had “The Big 3″ orientations that society most commonly recognizes in mind when writing this ask. don’t quote me on this, but i feel…

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    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “…it makes me feel invalid whenever she does that. if you have any advice, i’d appreciate it.”

    October 17, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: my friend’s best friend recently came out as trans and my friend only refers to them as their preferred name. there’s nothing wrong with that, except i told the same friend my preferred name a year ago and she rarely uses it, even when it’s just us. we’ve talked about it, but she still continues to use my birth name around me. i’m not really sure what to do, since we’ve already talked about it, but it makes me feel invalid whenever she does that. if you have any advice, i’d appreciate it wow, what an incredibly shitty thing to do. :/ this isn’t actual advice so much as it just being what i personally might do in such a situation, but…. i imagine that i’d handle this in much the same way i would someone who insists on misgendering me. that is, i’d stop responding to the…

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    Vesper H.

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    thank you

    November 28, 2017

    my collection…

    March 7, 2013

    QAC 05 – Gender Blurb: Neutrois?

    May 29, 2013
  • Feedback,  Q&A

    Feedback: “From the coming out anon: Thank you for the advice…”

    October 17, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: From the coming out anon: Thank you for the advice, Vesper, I really do appreciate it. I think I might try doing just that the next time it comes up. Thank you for the help. 🙂 ( re: this post ) no problem, anon. wishing you the best in general, but even more so if / when you do come out to your friend. 🙂

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Feedback,  Q&A

    Feedback: “…thanks for the advice….”

    October 17, 2016 / No Comments

    Kat said: I came out to her she accepted it and she didn’t go thro with the blind date thank you she said I might be aro tho also thanks for the advice keep up the good blog -Kat ( re: this post & this post ) so glad to hear that things went well for you, Kat. thanks for coming back to let me know and i wish you all the best in the future. p.s. don’t worry about what she thinks about you being aro. what you think is the only thing that matters.

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  [Random] Thoughts,  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness]

    them gay enbian feels

    October 16, 2016 / No Comments

    archiving Twitter stuff. again. i should really stop saying meaningful (to me) things on Twitter where it’ll disappear into my feed beyond retrieval. that or, you know, i could just rehash the same thoughts directly on Tumblr… but where’s the fun in that? anyway, random thoughts on being bi / pan and enbian– wooo…. but see, it gets even ““gayer”” because by “nbs like themself” i totally mean non-binary people who are like me and i don’t just mean in that they’re also non-binary. for one, binary people aren’t the only people who can be (hyper)masculine and / or (hyper)feminine. secondly, masculinity / femininity isn’t even a defining factor of attraction for me, even if it can be a potential point of aversion… my understanding of my own attraction may be nearly as nebulous as my actual experience with it, but if there’s one thing that i know for sure it’s that any attraction i do…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    one of many reasons why “QUEER” means so much to me.

    September 23, 2016

    パレードの皆さん、お疲れ

    April 26, 2015

    …one of many examples of why navigating セクマイ / LGBTQIA spaces in Japan can be painful at times.

    October 7, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I want to come out to my friend, but I just don’t know the words for it…”

    October 16, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I want to come out to my friend, but I just don’t know the words for it. I think she already knows, but I want to confirm it and then talk about it, because I’m tried of being alone. Any advice, vesper? i don’t know if this would work for you, anon, but… since you suspect that your friend may already know, perhaps you could go off of that and just casually slip it into a random conversation instead of making it a serious conversation specifically about you coming out? by that i mean that if an even vaguely related topic just happened to came up, you could say something like “well, being ______ and all, i feel like….” or “you know, i must be ____ as hell because i totally…..” or some other casual way of mentioning your sexuality / gender / etc phrased in a way that implies…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    one of many reasons why “QUEER” means so much to me.

    September 23, 2016

    QAC 35 – Body Image: An Intersection of Black, Non-binary & Asexual Identity

    March 16, 2015

    Documentary Explores The Reality Of Being Black And Gay In The Church

    November 14, 2015
  • [A]sexuality,  Feedback,  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness]

    Feedback: “I saw your video about confusing gender attraction with gender envy/admiration and as newly realised asexual it really hit a chord with me…”

    October 15, 2016 /

    anonymous said: I saw your video about confusing gender attraction with gender envy/admiration and as newly realised asexual it really hit a chord with me… I think this is what I’ve been experiencing a lot, seeing people and wanting to be like they are because they’re so free or happy with how they express themselves, and calling it attraction like my friends call it attraction when they see a guy and want to do him, when it’s not the same at all. ( re: this post ) yeah, attraction is really complicated because there’s so much involved… sometimes even gender envy / admiration can be a involved when one experiences attraction, but yeah. it’s also a thing in and of itself that may not be related to attraction at all. thanks for sharing your experiences, anon. 🙂

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    Vesper H.

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    mission Read All The Queer Manga

    December 18, 2016

    QAC 37 – Forced Out of the Closet: 1.5 Years Later (Non-Binary Asexual)

    June 16, 2015

    …so this happened at TRP today.

    May 7, 2016
  • Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “Would it be possible for someone to identify as maverique & neutrois?”

    October 14, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Would it be possible for someone to identify as maverique & neutrois? Or would that person have to identify as either the latter or the former? yes, a person can be both maverique and neutrois. there are no rules or limitations as to what a person can be or how a person can identify. if someone is maverique and neutrois, there’s no reason why they couldn’t identify as maverique and neutrois.

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    Vesper H.

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VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

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Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

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