Q&A Archives | Page 25 of 36 | Queer As Cat

Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A not Q&A: “I think opression is a determining factors for the LGBT+ community…”

March 22, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: I think opression is a determining factors for the LGBT+ community, isnt the opression we shared what ended up bringing us together (re: this post) …this response started out short, but then it turned into me venting. sorry, anon. sure, for some it is a major– possibly even a determining– factor of their personal identity as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community. but like i said, imho, it isn’t the determining factor. even if one person does feel like it is the determining factor of their personal identity, it is a mistake to then assume that that holds true for everyone. not everyone’s identity is determined in part or entirely by their oppression. on top of that, oppression isn’t even something one can measure to determine whether someone is “oppressed enough” to have the right to identify as a part of the community. if someone was to try and measure…

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016

“the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”
April 5, 2018
Q&A

Q&A: “I’ve seen some people claim the ace community is racist, transphobic, and that hetero-romantic and aromantic aces don’t belong in the LGBTQ+ community…”

March 20, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: So, I’ve seen some people claim the ace community is racist, transphobic, and that hetero-romantic and aromantic aces don’t belong in the LGBTQ+ community. I was wondering, do you think there’s racism in the ace community? I’ve never noticed any, but then I’m white, so that’s not rlly my call. I think maybe it has to do with the use of the term allosexual, which has been said to have racist and transphobic roots. What’s your opinion on “allosexual”, and do you think “het aces” shld be included in the LGBTQ+ community? there are racist (and transphobic) people everywhere and the ace community is no exception to that. however, there being racist (and transphobic) people in the ace community doesn’t make the entire community racist (or transphobic). that would be an overgeneralization. people have made the claim that the term allosexual is racist and/or transphobic, but i…

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Vesper H.

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“the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”
April 5, 2018

Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016
Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “what does sga stand for?”

March 16, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: what does sga stand for? SGA stands for same-gender attraction / same-gender attracted. it’s used to talk about the experiences of people who are attracted to people of the same gender as themselves.

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016

“the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”
April 5, 2018
Feedback, Gender[queer], Q&A, Queer[ness]

Feedback: “Thanks for your most recent post re: saying no/transphobia/people’s need to express “no” being prioritized over the well-being of trans people.”

March 14, 2016 /

anonymous said: Thanks for your most recent post re: saying no/transphobia/people’s need to express “no” being prioritized over the well-being of trans people. I think you cut to the heart of it – it’s not reasonable to ask trans ppl (like me) to deprioritize discussing transness and transphobia once sexual consent gets brought up. That also assumes, IMO, that trans people are never in the group of ppl who need to say no and don’t have the tools?? Which, like, trans people (and trans women especially!) are targets for sexual violence and are often *especially* lacking access to “no”. Also I think it ties really grossly into “trans women as rapists” tropes (I’m AFAB so I hope I’m getting it right) – the fact that (presumably cis) people’s consent immediately becomes the ONLY IMPORTANT THING once trans people start talking about desirability and transness speaks to how cis people honestly…

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016
Gender[queer], Q&A

Q&A: “does maverique feel fixed and unchanging and exactly the same sensation to the same degree every day…”

March 12, 2016 / No Comments

Leo said: I wanted to ask, does maverique feel fixed and unchanging and exactly the same sensation to the same degree every day or is it multifaceted with many qualities that shift up and down in intensity to reflect your inner feelings from day to day? [1] But it never feels like a different gender from one day to the next, it is just more shiny or soft or open or big or loud because of how you’re feeling inside? Like a person can be quiet, energetic, solemn, shy, angry etc from day to day [2] but their identity as the same person is consistent over time. My understanding of maverique is that it’s very clearly unrelated to the gender binary, removed entirely from that concept, full of inner conviction and essentially my gender=me. [3] I hope that I’ve made some sense. It was a lot to try and fit into one…

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Vesper H.

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June 4, 2013

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July 5, 2013

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June 15, 2014
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Q&A: “Am I trans. What can I do to find out if I am.”

March 9, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hey queer as a cat. Ive been questioning my gender lately. I have always felt more guyish than female. In saying that I have long hair and wear dresses. Am I trans. What can I do to find out if I am. Thank you Anon from before who is wondering about their gender. I still do girly things? Does that make me less trans? Am I even trans I am so confused hi. 🙂 despite what society tells you, anyone can have long hair. anyone can wear dresses. anyone can do “girly” or “guyish” things. it’s not these things that decide what your gender is or whether or not you’re trans. based on what you’ve said, i’m assuming that society considers you to be female and you’re questioning whether you are female or not? rather than questioning whether you act enough ‘like a boy’, perhaps try turning that question…

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Vesper H.

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September 18, 2018

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February 21, 2015

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April 25, 2015
[Random] Thoughts, Gender[queer], Q&A

random thoughts on ‘genderqueer’ & ‘non-binary’

March 9, 2016 / No Comments

unknought wrote in: “What you describe as feeling “degendered” by being called non-binary seems similar to how some people eventually started feeling about the term/identity genderqueer.” Would you be able to say more about this and/or provide a source? I had just been asking people about how nonbinary seems to have taken the place genderqueer had five years ago, and it sounds like you have an idea what’s been going on there? (in reference to this post) all that follows is nothing more than my opinion and personal observation, but… reflecting back over the past 6 years in which i personally have gone from identifying as genderqueer to not using the term to describe myself at all anymore, i feel like i’ve seen three major things happen within online genderqueer and non-binary communities that have ultimately resulted in the decline in usage of the word “genderqueer” by some people?…

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Vesper H.

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April 21, 2016
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Q&A: “…isn’t it equally true that you can’t know someone’s gender just by looking at them?”

March 9, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: On the “you can’t know someone’s genitals just by looking at them” line of thought, isn’t it equally true that you can’t know someone’s gender just by looking at them? I’ve definitely been attracted to people who I later found out were a different gender than I thought they were. indeed, you can’t tell someone’s gender just by looking at them and it can suck for everyone involved when someone is assumed to be a gender that they are not. the same could be said of sexuality; about “gaydar” and other assumptions that people make about someone’s sexuality based on looks (or mannerisms, etc). sadly, society and human interaction in general operates on assumptions, even when it comes to the most everyday of things. to some extent, assumptions are unavoidable. no one is psychic, so one has to venture a guess at things and act based on that guess…

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Vesper H.

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May 17, 2016

QAC 54 – Confusing Gender Envy & Admiration with Attraction || Non-Binary | Asexual
October 10, 2016

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August 11, 2013
[A]sexuality, Gender[queer], Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “Would it be transphobic of them to turn down the sex and instead just cuddle it out?”

March 8, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hey! So a hypothetical question about that last post. (Pardon my assumptions on this kind of attraction, I’m aroace and trying to learn) Say someone is panromantic, but are not sexually attracted to/repulsed by penises. What if they’re dating someone for a while and are romantically very interested in them. They go to the bedroom for the first time and find out the person they were dating has a penis. Would it be transphobic of them to turn down the sex and instead just cuddle it out? (in reference to this post) if at any point or for any reason a person is uncomfortable with or does not desire sex, they are never in the wrong for voicing that and saying no to sex. this would not be transphobic at all, imho.

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Vesper H.

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January 4, 2020

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August 11, 2013
Gender[queer], Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “do you have any opposition to non-medically transitioning nonbinary people using…”

March 6, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: do you have any opposition to non-medically transitioning nonbinary people using transgender as an identity term? saw your ask with the project person and am wondering i’m not against anyone identifying as transgender. a person’s desire to transition (or lack of desire to transition) says nothing of their identity as a trans person. my response in the post in question was strictly speaking of my personal relationship with trans identity. i totally stand in solidarity with anyone, non-binary or not, who identifies as trans but does not want to (or cannot) transition medically or otherwise. 🙂

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Vesper H.

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