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Queer As Cat

gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

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  • Home
  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

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  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A

    Q&A: ” What did you mean by #although this is about #an korean ace #rather than an ace POC #also relevant?”

    October 11, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hi there! I hope you don’t think I’m attacking you or anything, I just wanted to ask about your tags in your last post (the one with the asexual K-drama character): What did you mean by #although this is about #an korean ace #rather than an ace POC #also relevant? ( re: this post ) the #although this is about #a korean ace#rather than an ace POC #also relevant tags were there to preface the tags that followed them, which were #asian american #APOC #ace POC#asexual POC. that is to say that the character portrayed in the post is not a POC. please refer to this post where i rant about why labeling him as a POC would be inappropriate. as such, my #asian american #APOC #ace POC#asexual POC tags were not meant to be descriptive of the character being portrayed because they aren’t. i included those tags because they are, however,  #also…

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    Vesper H.

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    ?Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2017: Parade & Ace Meetup

    April 29, 2017

    #TRP2017

    May 11, 2017

    Cosmopolitan: “Everything You Need To Know About Demisexuality”

    March 20, 2017
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “Do you have any dating advice for a fellow ace person?”

    October 10, 2016 / No Comments

    aarusiel said: Hey, Vesper. Do you have any dating advice for a fellow ace person? I feel like all I ever do is end up hurting the other person because I can’t meet their needs sexually. Is it better to just not date?   …i’m afraid that i’m probably one of the least suitable people to answer this question for a variety of reasons. that said, i don’t think that there’s any reason for you to not date. when it comes to any kind of relationship, a big part of avoiding false expectations and assumptions that can lead to hurt feelings– and make no mistake, it’s that (imho) that’s the cause of the other person’s hurt feelings, not you being unable to compromise yourself for them– is communication. if you talk to each other and you make your boundaries clear (which can be done without actually coming out as ace,…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “Excuse, but are you truscum?”

    October 5, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said:  I asking because I’m afraid to follow you in case you are truscum. no, anon, i am not truscum. in other words:

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • Feedback

    Feedback: “I’m so glad you posted your experience about being a black, nonbinary person who’s…”

    October 4, 2016 /

    nocombatjustwombats said: I’m so glad you posted your experience about being a black, nonbinary person who’s dealt with trauma online. All of today I’ve been feeling alone and misunderstood, and your post made me feel great. Thanks so much for putting yourself out there for kids like me. ?❤?   …and reading this ask has made my night. thank you. this means a lot coming from you. <3

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “The term platonic attraction confuses me. Is it somehow different from what people usually think of as friendship?”

    October 3, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: The term platonic attraction confuses me. Is it somehow different from what people usually think of as friendship? Does it mean someone you would want to be in a queerplatonic with? you’re far from the only one who’s confused by the term “platonic attraction”, anon. imho, such confusion and misunderstanding is partially to blame for why some people are quick to make light of terms like “panplatonic”, “aplatonic”, etc. such confusion and misunderstanding is also part of the reason why some people prefer to use other terms instead. the word “platonic” is defined by the Merriam-Webster Dictionary as referring to “a close relationship in which there is no romance or sex.” that said, historically the word and its usage used to be far more nuanced than it often is in modern society. there are literally an infinite number of ways in which a close relationship without romance (with or without sex) could manifest…

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    Vesper H.

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    …one of many examples of why navigating セクマイ / LGBTQIA spaces in Japan can be painful at times.

    October 7, 2016

    fuck your Oppression Olympics

    September 15, 2016

    QAC 73 – 【Asexuality In JAPAN】An Interview ♠【アセクシャルって?】日本x英語圏  || #AAW2018

    October 26, 2018
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A not Q&A: “i’m aromantic and i use alterous as an identity and a form of attraction because identifying as panplatonic…”

    October 2, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: i’m aromantic and i use alterous as an identity and a form of attraction because identifying as panplatonic e.g. is looked down upon a Lot in the community. it’s the special-snowflake-mogai-tumblr-a-spec-uwu kind of stuff that non a-spec people demonize and it makes me feel icky to identify as such but i still want to express my identity? so i use alterous (re: this post) …ah, yes. the whole “everyone’s panplatonic because everyone makes friends regardless of gender! stop trying so hard to be oppressed you special snowflake lulz” that i’ve seen some ‘discoursers’ spout. usually the same people who also make fun of aplatonic as a term. i totally support you and anyone else who uses alterous for themself regardless of the reason for doing so, anon. at the same time, i can’t help but be annoyed / pissed off that some people’s ignorance has made another identity feel inaccessible…

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    Vesper H.

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    “i am asexual”

    February 12, 2013

    …so this happened at TRP today.

    May 7, 2016

    commentary: “Where Is The Asexual Representation in LGBTQ Pride?”

    June 10, 2017
  • Feedback

    Feedback: “Why are you so cool?”

    September 29, 2016 /

    anonymous said: Why are you so cool? *looks around slowly* ………………….who? me?? but thank you, anon. <3

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “do you happen to know any cool aro/ace history?”

    September 26, 2016 / No Comments

    nohelpwhatsoever said: while on the subject of that “know your bi history” comic post, do you happen to know any cool aro/ace history? i actually haven’t come across any historical aces who aren’t linked to religious celibacy :/   (re: this post) i’m afraid that i’ll be of no help whatsoever (get it?) when it comes to history… of anything, really. history was always one of my least subjects in school because i can barely remember the events of my own life, let alone those of other people’s lives etc… that said, you’re in luck because some people are actually into (and good at) history– more specifically, ace history. i haven’t come across much in the way of aro history, sadly… in terms of ace history, though, definitely check out @historicallyace and their #history tag in particular to find a treasure trove of information about ace history in general. there’s…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “Is [singular they] used like “they are” or “they is”?”

    September 22, 2016 / No Comments

    mybooklover19 said: Hi Vesper! I have a doubt and I don’t have anyone to ask… As a non english speaker, no one ever told me how to use the singular “they”. Is this used like “they are” or “they is”? And what about other new pronouns? Anyway thank you for everything!   hi there! singular ‘they’ is used in more or less the same way as plural ‘they’, so “they are” would be correct. for more information on how to use singular ‘they’, this post and my #singular they tag might be of help. as for other gender neutral third person pronouns, usage depends on the pronoun. many, but not all, can be used similar to how you’d use ‘he’ or ‘she’, ie. “xe is at home” or “ze loves cats.” if you’d like to see usage examples for these and / or other pronouns, check out the interactive app/site Xe or the Pronoun Dressing Room. 🙂

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “Any recommendations for meeting other trans/non-binary either Japanese or gaijin in Japan?”

    September 20, 2016 / No Comments

    nerdyglitterpatrol said: Hey Vesper. I’m a non-binary transman (fledgling danso) living in Japan. I came here very recently, at the end of July, so it’s been about 2 months now. I’ve been curious about finding other non-binary or trans individuals that I could be friends with to generally explore the lgbt and non-binary parts of Japanese life, culture, and society. Any recommendations for meeting or making friends with other trans/non-binary either Japanese or gaijin in Japan? Second part of my question. I’ve considered using mixi, but I have no idea how it works and while I’m decent at conversational Japanese, reading it is another story. I’m also hesitant to come out as non-binary trans to Japanese people because the concepts seem to be underdeveloped in Japan, Japanese people don’t seem to know what to do with non-binary/trans individuals. And it’s hard for me to come out to my cis friends…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
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VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

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Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

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