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Queer As Cat

gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

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  • Home
  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

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  • Feedback,  Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “…does anything else about how gender is discussed estrange you?”

    December 6, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Branching off of your Cis-Trans binary video, does anything else about how gender is discussed estrange you? For me, settling on quoigender hasn’t been a comfortable experience, as it doesn’t provide the luxury or comfort of certainty. Coupled with ableism, aro- and acephobia, being quoigender and thus “see, not a real girl(TM) after all” makes gender itself alienating. I can’t “celebrate my gender identity” when I not convinced that I even have one, and suggesting that I should is insulting. ( re: this video / blog post ) there’s quite a lot surrounding gender and how it’s often discussed that bothers and / or alienates me, including the assumption that everyone knows their gender or even has one at all. that said, as someone who does have a gender, knows what it is and is comfortable in it, i admit that i am privileged in that regard and thus am…

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    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Feedback,  Q&A

    Q&A not Q&A: “So there’s a book called Ashlesha by Jer Keene that has an aro/ace character…”

    December 5, 2016 / No Comments

    libentianimo said: So there’s a book called Ashlesha by Jer Keene that has an aro/ace character. As in, they EXPLICITLY say the word aromantic and asexual to describe him, and explain what aromantic and asexual mean. Nearly all of the characters are queer-some are bi, some are gay, some are undefined, there’s a nonbinary trans character, and the majority(including the main character) are people of colour. The plot is amazing, too-scifi meets political conspiracies meets action thriller. It’s absolutely AMAZING. this is the book, i believe? it does sound interesting and has a lot of positive reviews on Amazon. thank you for the recommendation. 🙂

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    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “if i cant get into JET, where should I go?”

    December 5, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: hi, so i have a question, ive been studying japanese for a while-6 years- but still dont have the hang of it and actually had to drop out of the japanese program at my school because the anxieties from my now retired teacher were so bad it was messing up all my grades, needless to say, after spending a semester in japan for abroad a year out of being in the program i was more confident and aware of what i have to work on, now ive come to the conclusion of wanting to teach there and i would love to join the jet program to start, but im pretty sure i left a bad impression dropping out of the major with my JPN teacher who is still here, and she discouraged me from going abroad while i was still in her class, plus my friends who left…

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    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “I really need some advice, i have social anxiety & I recently went out with a friend…”

    November 30, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I really need some advice, i have social anxiety & I recently went out with a friend, she said their would only be a few other people there I didn’t know but when we went out there was a lot of people there I didn’t know on top of my friend ignoring me most of the time, I felt alone & anxious . Afterwards she bugged me until I told her what was wrong & now she’s made at me. I feel like I’m crazy I’ve been having panic attacks ever since. I feel like a horrible person & I don’t know what to do you’re most certainly not a horrible person, anon. you’ve done absolutely nothing wrong and how you feel / felt (both now and at the time) is understandable and no fault of your own. as far as i’m concerned, your friend has no reason…

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    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Gender[queer],  Q&A

    Q&A: “Could it be possible that there really only are 2 genders?”

    November 16, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hey, Vesper! I have a very serious question to ask. It’s about gender. It might come off as offensive, but in no means is it meant to be. Could it be possible that there really only are 2 genders? Hear me out: it can be argued that gender is not really determined by characteristics or genitals, instead more by chromosomes, XX or XY. For humans, biologically there is only male and female(no, i did not forget intersex), but gender identity can be a whole other deal! You see, gender identity can be how someone feels about their gender. Like, I was born female, but I did not feel like that fit. Male didn’t fit either, so I identify as agender. But, I didn’t really feel like it was an actual gender as much as an identity, a way for me to express myself. I may just be getting…

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    Vesper H.

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    QAC 21 – Gender Identity & Feminism

    January 3, 2014

    ? QAC 77 – Legal Name Change || Non-Binary Gender Markers || “”Deadnames”“ || NEVADA

    July 13, 2019

    本の紹介:「Xジェンダーって何?」

    October 4, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I’m a trans male and I’m attracted to people with feminine gender identity or presentation…”

    November 15, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I know you aren’t an omniscient god of queer or anything, but I really respect a lot of your opinions so I figured I might as well ask your opinion on this. I’m a trans male and I’m attracted to people with feminine gender identity or presentation. In other words, any female, plus any other gender as long as they present as feminine. I’m not sure I have the right to use anything other than straight, but I also feel as if that reduces identity to being just expression. Thoughts? in my humble opinion, if someone uses a word other than “straight” to describe themself, it isn’t because they have the right to use that word. who a person is and the word(s) one uses to refer to that isn’t a matter of rights. that said, if it were (or if i were to stop being ridiculous and take what…

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    Vesper H.

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    …annnd that’s a wrap!

    May 7, 2017

    QAC 18 – Queer: More Than Sexuality & Gender Identity?

    October 12, 2013

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “i’m trans and there are a lot of times when i feel hopeless…”

    November 14, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: this sounds dumb but i really wonder about – i’m trans and there are a lot of times when i feel hopeless, like i will never be totally validated and accepted like cis people are even if i completely transition (sometimes i even wish i was cis so i wouldn’t have to deal with the things i feel). occasionally i wonder if maybe i really am faking it even though it’s been a couple years since i realized that being trans felt right. am i the only one who has these thoughts? am i faking it? i can tell you with 100% certainty that you’re not the only one who has such thoughts and who feels this way at times, anon. it’s not at all uncommon to feel hopeless sometimes; to wish that you were like those around you who do not have to deal with the things…

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    Vesper H.

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    QAC 67 – 2 Months on HRT || Testosterone | Anemia | Non-Binary || The T Files #006

    March 19, 2018

    botched allyship & language barriers #TRP2017

    May 11, 2017

    Ace & Non-binary Pride @Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2015 (04/26/15)

    May 10, 2015
  • Gender[queer],  Mental [Un]health,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “…how to define yourself, was your self-esteem affected in any way?”

    November 12, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: If I may ask, considering how you had to continuously rework how to define yourself, was your self-esteem affected in any way? do you find that your social dysphoria has worsen in the last few years, now that you know yourself better? i’ve always had piss-poor self-esteem and that continues to be the case today, so i’m afraid i have no idea whether or not the journey of self-discovery that i’ve been on over the years has affected that at all. i suspect not, though. as for dysphoria, be it social or otherwise, i do experience more dysphoria now than i did in the past and i do feel like for me personally there is some kind of correlation between becoming more comfortable with and confident in who i know myself to be gender wise and experiencing more dysphoria.

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Re: QAC 51 – #ProudToBe Black Non-Binary Bi Pan AND Asexual

    June 23, 2016

    QAC 29 – (Not) Coping + 3 More Years in Japan

    August 24, 2014

    transphobia & non-binary erasure in Japanese media

    March 17, 2016
  • Feedback

    Feedback: “Non binary opened my world but even then it is hard to fit between the cis and trans world…”

    November 12, 2016 /

    unepetitecrise said: Been following you for a while but just got around to watching your vlogs on being non binary/or trans ect. I was similar…until I heard of non-binary I just felt a but lost? Non binary opened my world but even then it is hard to fit between the cis and trans world. I was one of those people, I am ashamed to say, who was very ‘don’t call me cis cause you can’t call me that’ and it came across as transphobic but I now realise it was bc no label fits. So important to see someone explain it. TY! (re: these vlogs [ 1 ] + [ 2 ]) thanks for watching and for the kind message. 🙂 it’s definitely a topic that i’d love to see more discussion about and awareness of. imho, there’s a significant number of people who are overlooked, silenced and / or…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A not Q&A: “Cuz of Trump pres, I said I’m screwed if he passes any anti LGBT law…”

    November 10, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Cuz of Trump pres, I said I’m screwed if he passes any anti LGBT law and I said it out loud and had to explain I’m ace to 2 friends the first I lied to cuz I was scared the 2nd I told them but Idk I’m kinda scared I hope they understand 🙁 i sincerely hope they understand too, anon, and i’m sorry that you’re in the shitty situation that you’re in. :/ having said that, know that regardless of whether they understand or not it’s entirely valid to feel how you feel and what anyone else has to say on the matter is irrelevant. even if they understand what it means to be ace, only you know what it feels to be in your shoes right now or ever. i sincerely hope that your friend(s) respond to what you’ve told them in an appropriate manner, but…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

    You May Also Like

    the ‘Sin City’ asexual

    January 10, 2019

    QAC 11 – Growing Up Ace (Asexual)

    July 21, 2013

    QAC 35 – Body Image: An Intersection of Black, Non-binary & Asexual Identity

    March 16, 2015
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VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

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Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

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