random thoughts Archives | Page 3 of 8 | Queer As Cat

[Random] Thoughts, Black[ness]

a 1.5 hour conversation with a random Nigirian

October 12, 2017 / No Comments

…soooo, i just had a 1.5 hour conversation with a random Nigirian guy at Starbucks and i need to let off some steam. so, as you’d predict, i met random Nigirian guy completely randomly when i got off a train one night after work and he came chasing after me to strike up a conversation. me being the overly nice person that i am who finds it hard to say “i’m tired, go away.” ended up engaged in a short conversation with him. he seemed like a nice enough guy and i couldn’t help but feel for his situation of being the sole non-Japanese person at his workplace and not having anyone to talk to because he can’t speak Japanese. when he asked to keep in touch after i finally got up the nerve to tell him i had to go i obliged, although i knew well enough by now not to…

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Vesper H.

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Re: “”Visibility””

September 18, 2017 / No Comments

for the longest time it struck me as odd, the way that the LGBT community at large upholds “visibility” as some kind of goal or ideal to be fought for. it wasn’t until recent years that i actually stopped and thought about it enough to realize why reference to and usage of “visibility” in this way bothers me so much. as someone who has always been and will always be hypervisible because of their race, it baffles me when people advocate for visibility as if visibility is what we all want; as if visibility is even a means to getting what we all want. this upholding of visibility as something important for all of us to fight for seems grossly negligent of the fact that some of us are already more visible than others and that that very visibility is part of what has gotten some of us bullied, turned away…

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Vesper H.

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podcast recommendations?

September 5, 2017 / No Comments

anyone have any queer-related (or relevant) podcast recommendations…? bonus points if it’s hosted by QPOC. preferably not iTunes exclusive. looking for something educational / intriguing / interesting to listen to on my weekly 3 hour (1.5 hours each way) commute across the Greater Kanto Area so i can be Quasi-Productive rather than fall asleep and miss my stops zzz… thanks in advance. 🙂

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Vesper H.

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conversation with Mr. Psychiatrist: その②

September 3, 2017 / 1 Comment

※ cw: dysphoria, genitalia mention ….so, in typical me fashion, i ended up coming out as non-binary to my psychiatrist the other day. i’d had no intention of coming out to him, but at the same time i had no intention of making any effort to not come out to him, so. *shrugs* i’d already come out to him as queer / bi / ace during my first appointment, so i already had some means of gauging what his reaction might be like. also, this is the same guy who is overly focused on “results” and “remission” to the point of being laughable / uncomfortable at times, so i already had reservations about the guy from the start.

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Vesper H.

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….mmm, you know.

August 4, 2017 / No Comments

i’d make a quasi-linkspam of a post about the many times and ways that i’ve had aro aces tell me that i can’t do / say / talk about / feel / understand something because i’m “romantic”, but more than likely i’d get accused of being arophobic instead of, you know, pointing out a legitimate problem within the aro ace community that ought to be addressed.

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Vesper H.

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Q&A not Q&A: “i know you probably don’t care much abt the latest wave of “”discourse””…”

July 24, 2017 / No Comments

anonymous said: i know you probably don’t care much abt the latest wave of “”discourse,”” especially not something that was done to be deliberately petty/to get attention, but. just to catch you up while you’ve been busy, at one point, ppl who want to exclude us tried to redesign the ace and aro flags. shit’s gotten /that/ ridiculous. this ask is 2 months old and i have not been paying any attention to ‘discourse’, so who knows what’s happening now because i sure as hell don’t. i will say, though. that i’m not surprised to hear that at one point that happened. to me, shit’s always been /that/ ridiculous… to anyone being negatively affected by ‘discourse’ on this site: please be sure to take a break from Tumblr when you need to. please take care of yourself and don’t let this site’s negativity consume you. log out every once in a while–…

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Vesper H.

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conversation with Mr. Psychiatrist: その①

July 23, 2017 / 1 Comment

me: these meds sure have helped me regain control over my depression and anxiety. finally back to my depressed-anxious-and-angry-but-not-worryingly-so self! psychiatrist: that’s good– but what if– WHAT IF we up the dose a bit. at this rate, there’s a good chance you could go into remission! me: remission lolololol nah, i’m good, i think. pyschiatrist: but– BUT don’t you want to TRY? you could feel even better! me: even better lolololololol no antidepressant is going to make me better cuz no antidepressant is going to make this world less of a shitty place, but thanks anyway lololol

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Vesper H.

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identity politics leave little room for agency; a thought.

July 21, 2017 / No Comments

i don’t know why, but it only just occurred to me that in referring to myself as a “queer ace”, as i sometimes do, i may be inadvertently giving off the impression that i don’t think that aces are inherently queer…? that “queer” modifies my aceness rather than encompasses it…??

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Vesper H.

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back from Tokyo

July 11, 2017 / No Comments

where i finally got to meet Japanese ace activist @harris-hijiri! actually, we both went to Tokyo to meet with Emie, an ace artist from Sweden who’s debuting her video art piece “Sexual Disorientation” (cw: genitals, masturbation) in Tokyo this Thursday. Emie is also working on an asexual documentary called “Aces of Baes”, for which both Harris-Hijiri and i were interviewed. how ironic is it that it took a globe-trotting Swed to finally bring the two of us together, even though we both live in the same country? lol anyway, it was a pleasure to meet them both. we should do it again sometime. 🙂

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Vesper H.

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commentary: “Where Is The Asexual Representation in LGBTQ Pride?”
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identity politics leave little room for agency; a thought.
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commentary: “Where Is The Asexual Representation in LGBTQ Pride?”

June 10, 2017 / No Comments

…i mean, i know i’m particularly depressed and irritable right now, but is it really too much to ask for people to not throw others under the bus like this while trying to get theirs (or in this case, ace-friendly brownie points)? whether a particular post, article– whatever is written by an ace or not, i am just as tired of the asexual community’s uncritical consumption and promotion of writing and publications like this as i am of aces themselves being the ones writing it. sigh.

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Vesper H.

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…one of many examples of why navigating セクマイ / LGBTQIA spaces in Japan can be painful at times.
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