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Queer As Cat

gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

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  • Home
  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

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  • Q&A

    Q&A: “why is passing considered a privilege with some identities but not others…”

    November 8, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I feel like for the disabled community and the POC community being able to pass is considered a privilege. I had read a previous anon q you answered and I felt like some of the things you mentioned in it could apply to these communities as well. Ex. Having a part of your identity being erased being oppressive and not a privilege. I guess I’m wanting to hear your opinion about why passing is considered a privilege with some identities but not others. Thanks! [the post that anon is referring to] hi, anon! i think it’s safe to assume that it’s “able-bodied passing privilege” and “white passing privilege” that you had in mind in your ask. in my humble opinion, many of the things that i said in my other post equally apply to both of these concepts of “passing privilege” as well. i may be the only person in the…

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    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “do you think there’s something about sex positivity that oppresses aces of color?”

    November 7, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: So I’m ace, and I’ve started questioning where I stand on the whole “sex positive/negative” thing. I’ve generally been really sex positive because I believe people should do what they want as long as it’s consensual. So I replied to another ace who was telling college freshmen to “chill” about having sex so soon by telling them that it’s not really their business. And eventually it escalated to them calling me a racist for being sex positive and they didn’t really explain why? They said something about me silencing and erasing people and pressing my white views onto others, but they didn’t give any explanation for all that. I want to learn more, but I feel like if I ask them, they won’t explain anything and they’ll just keep insulting me. So, feel free to not to answer this if it seems like I’m barging in here and…

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    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “does agender not fall under the non-binary umbrella?”

    October 29, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: This is more of a clarification question. Usually I see articles and posts say non-binary, but sometimes I see agender intentionally separated, so does agender not fall under the non-binary umbrella? Thanks! it depends on who you ask. generally speaking, agender is usually included as part of the “non-binary umbrella” as a gender that is not binary. that said, some agender people define their identity as being non-participatory of gender as a social identity system or as genderless. because of that, they may choose to separate themselves and/or their identity from the non-binary umbrella/community because associating with the non-binary community: suggests that their identity as agender is a gender– a non-binary gender –rather then a complete lack of gender is participating in gender, which they do not want to do does that make sense…? ^^; the non-binary community at large tends to include agender people, but some agender people…

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    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “What are your thoughts on “passing” in the queer community?”

    October 27, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: What are your thoughts on “passing” in the queer community? Mostly in terms of being mistaken for a heterosexual couple and if this actually gives people privileges that people in non-heterosexual seeming queer relationships don’t have.   sorry for taking so long to reply, anon! it’s been one hellava week…. i’ve said this before in reference to other “het-blahblahblah privilege” arguments that people make, but i’ll say it again because it equally applies to this. having one’s identity erased by society due to heteronormativity is not a privilege. i will shout this from the rooftops until the end of time. society literally assumes that e v e r y o n e is straight until “proven otherwise”, i don’t care if that person is a lesbian, gay, asexual or anything else. and yet, for some odd reason *cough*biphobia*cough* i don’t see people making the argument that a lesbian, for example, accesses “straight…

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    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “…why are lesbians who don’t want to have sex with women with gentalia that repulses them considered transphobic?”

    October 13, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Different anon but I have a q about something u said in the last anon q you answered. If it is okay for people to be repulsed by certain genitalia than why do lesbians who don’t want to have sex with women with gentalia that repulses them considered transphobic? This is something I’ve seen in a lot of places on tumblr. Can you speak more about being repulsed by certain genitalia being okay?   [this is in reference to this post] *takes a deep breath, steadying themself for potential backlash from this post* …the following is my opinion, but there is a difference between: defining your orientation based solely on the genitalia you do or do not find repulsive.* (ie. saying that you’re a lesbian or gynosexual because you’re repulsed by penises.) defining your orientation based on your attraction to X (Y, Z) gender(s) and then adding a…

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    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • Q&A

    Q&A not Q&A: ” I don’t really think zedsexual is the way to go. It is not only etymologically nonsensical, but sounds like something tumblr would make up…”

    October 2, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: As an asexual person, I don’t really think zedsexual is the way to go. It is not only etymologically nonsensical, but sounds “like something tumblr would make up” to the outside observers. This is just something else that will make people not take us seriously. Isn’t there another way? Maybe, some positive prefix? I know in other languages there is such thing but I’m not sure about English.   anon, while i personally don’t care for z/zedsexual either, i also don’t care for people criticizing a word because it sounds “like something tumblr would make up.” as if a word being coined on Tumblr automatically delegitimizes or discredits it. as if i or anyone else should avoid a word just because other people assume the word is somehow connected to Tumblr and that that is automatically a bad thing. anon, i realize that you yourself probably do not…

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    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • [A]sexuality,  [Random] Thoughts,  Queer[ness]

    re: allosexual and zsexual

    September 30, 2015 / No Comments

    this is a great post that others ought to read and i just want to throw out my personal opinion on this topic so that it’s on this blog somewhere for future reference: i personally despise the word ‘sexual’ being used as a general catch-all for non-asexual people, largely because of what is said in the OP. when zsexual/zedsexual was first proposed i, like many, turned by back on the word allosexual because zsexual seemed like such a great idea to me at the time. that said, i personally no longer care for it for various reasons, the main two being that: i don’t like how the “A-to-Z” conceptualization positions asexuality and non-asexuality as two points on either end of a binary linear system. as a quasi-linguist and native English speaker myself, i don’t care for how English speakers are using the roman alphabet in such an arbitrary way. not everyone…

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    Vesper H.

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    Re: “”Visibility””

    September 18, 2017

    QAC 55 – Older Asexuals: Coming Out Later In Life | Questioning | Trauma

    October 23, 2016

    …one of many examples of why navigating セクマイ / LGBTQIA spaces in Japan can be painful at times.

    October 7, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “do you think it’s ‘correct’ for hetero ace/aros to call themselves queer?”

    September 25, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hello, just asking cause I’m not entirely sure and I value your opinion… do you think it’s ‘correct’ for hetero ace/aros to call themselves queer. And I mean, is that something that should be allowed to be done without getting furiously shamed by other members of LGBT+ Because I’ve seen a lot of them get flack for using that term for themselves and now I’m not sure if it’s okay. I originally thought it was but… yeah. Thanks.   ….ahhh, The Debate. which shouldn’t even really be the debate that it is in the first place, imho. i generally prefer to stay out of The Debate because i feel like The Debate itself is an example of identity policing, most often on the part of people who do not believe that heteroromantic aces or aro heterosexuals are a part of the LGBTQIA community to begin with (and i…

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    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “I’m about a 2 on the Kinsey scale. Am I bi?”

    September 24, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hi, so I’m about a 2 on the Kinsey scale. Am I bi? Do I still have the right to call myself bi? I don’t know I feel like I’m not bi enough there is no such thing as being “not bi enough”. the only thing that determines your identity is how you yourself identify. this is but one of the many reasons why i despise the Kinsey Scale, actually. it implies that there is some kind of sliding scale of “straightness”, “gayness” or “biness”, which is utter bullshit. no one need fulfill some arbitrary minimal requirement of “biness” or order to identity as bi. nor does anyone need to have some arbitrary minimal amount of experience with more than one gender in order to identify as bi. no one need prove nor justify their bi identity to anyone. that includes struggling to justify it to yourself, imho. if you feel like…

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    Vesper H.

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  • [A]sexuality,  Black[ness],  Queer[ness],  YouTube[r]

    QAC 39 – Biromantic + Panromantic Pride! | Being Both Bi & Pan

    September 23, 2015 / No Comments

    happy Bi Visibility Day and Bi Awareness Week! 🙂 in this video i talk about what being biromantic and panromantic means to me, common questions i get about being bi and pan and why i identify as both rather than one or the other. i also talk about my journey to realizing my romantic orientation and how being black and being asexual played a part in that journey. ========= TIME POINTS ========= @00:00 – happy Bi Awareness Week & Bi Visibility Day! @00:39 – what is “biromantic” & “panromantic”? @01:20 – what being biro and panro means to me. @01:30 – FAQ: “but bi means two!!!“ @02:53 – FAQ: “but then how is bi different from pan???” @04:09 – FAQ: “but why do you identify as both bi & pan???“ @09:07 – coming out to myself at 27: race played a part in it. @10:56 – coming out to myself…

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    Vesper H.

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    allo by default: hypocrisy in “aspec” spaces

    February 25, 2017

    “love languages”?? communication tool.

    May 1, 2019

    IF {subcommunity building} THEN {…?}

    March 11, 2019
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VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

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Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

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