Queer As Cat (the channel) is about to turn 3 years old and (miraculously) reached 4k subscribers last week…! and for some reason i feel like taking this channel back to old times where i casually vomit words at you in a single, raw take. to make this word vomit a bit more digestible, here’s the gist of what i talk about with time points. 00:00 – tea tea tea 00:33 – 4k subscribers omg 02:05 – financial stress: why i’ve made some changes to the channel 05:30 – rethinking “transitioning” in Japan 10:51 – body mods & dysphoria: how the two are linked for me 15:35 – tea or coffee: which do you prefer? as always, thank you for watching. 🙂
a long overdue and highly abbreviated update about what’s been going on in my life the past year. the highlights include turning 30 sucking, breaking off communication with my mom, trying out therapy, a self-care project, finishing my sleeve tattoo and trying to participate in local LGBTQIA events. ======== TIME POINTS ======== @00:00 – hello & thanks Kat Blaque. @00:44 – my laptop died. 🙁 @02:06 – turning 30 is depressing. @04:05 – no longer talking to my mom. @05:39 – therapy isn’t for me? @08:01 – talking about mental health stuff is hard. @08:35 – self-care: i made a thing. look at my thing. @10:17 – the body mod video is coming, i swear! @11:29 – going to LGBTQIA meetups in Japan. @13:08 – why i haven’t made videos about LGBT stuff in Japan. @14:22 – wow, you really watched all that? i love you. ==============================
one more session to go next month and it’s finished! 😀 just had to show it off online since my employer is making me keep it covered up irl. ;( the design is by me in collaboration with Oshima-san of Apocaript. an update for those who were interested in my last posts. for those who dislike this kind of thing, sorry. this will probably the last time i post about my sleeve between now and when i make my body mod video in August?
trigger warning: body negativity, gender dysphoria, hints of self-harm, cursing a rant about my own negative body image and how that body image intersects with my identity as a black non-binary asexual. i touch upon a lot in this long video, so for your ease of viewing: ====== Time Points ======== @00:00 – introduction @00:57 – dismissal of my body issues @02:18 – height and dysphoria @05:08 – having lordosis and being misgendered @09:53 – hypersexualization of my butt as a black non-binary ace @12:44 – hypersexualization of my lips as a black non-binary ace @13:27 – self-destructive habits: lip picking @15:33 – hating my natural hair @19:00 – body modification and body positivity @21:16 – i’d love to hear from you ======================== “awkward but necessary” pretty much sums up this video.
sorry for the long video and please do note that everything i said in the video is purely my opinion based on my experiences etc. i don’t claim to be an expert on anything…! and i totally forgot to mention how obviously i have to keep my gender under wraps during all of this being abroad business. i have to check “female” under “gender” on forms, if anyone asks i’m female, if anyone acts on the assumption that i’m female, i can’t disagree with them, etc etc. le sigh. sorry for being M.I.A. lately…! will try to do better. ;(
i think that dealing with dysphoria is all about owning the situation– taking control of the things that you do have at least some control over and doing what makes you happy. for me at the moment, that involves getting a septum piercing. 😛 i happen to like certain body mods, but body mods aren’t for everyone.