asks Archives | Page 7 of 33 | Queer As Cat

[A]sexuality, Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “I think I’m bi? But I’ve never been attracted to women before so why now?”

March 6, 2017 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi Vesper. So Idk how to put it but I identified as a straight girl my whole life until recently. I’ve been getting attracted to women. I think I’m bi? But I’ve never been attracted to women before so why now? Idk how to feel about this bc I know ppl have discourse about whether you’re born LGBT+ or you can change into it and I’m confused. I’ve never thought about being romantic with women before but right now I’d be totally ok. idk Why all of a sudden. I feel fake idk is this a normal feeling? hi, anon. i’m no expert, but i think it’s safe to say that what you’re experiencing is not uncommon at all. like many things in life, sexuality can change. that is to say that who one is attracted to, the ways in which you experience (or even don’t experience) that…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “Could a fairly feminine looking person get away with boku?”

March 2, 2017 / No Comments

anonymous said: actually I’ve been wondering for awhile what “I” word you use in Japanese, I’ve been learning Japanese and just wondering as far as queer communities in Japan if they ever step out of the (w)atashi is for girls/neutral and boku/ore is for boys thing. Could a fairly feminine looking person get away with boku? just wondering about what the situation actually is surrounding those words usage. i don’t use any particular set of first person pronouns ( i / me / my / mine) because i’m not comfortable using any of them. rather, i use various different pronouns or no pronoun at all depending on the register i’m speaking in, the situation i’m in, who i’m speaking to, how i’m feeling that particular day at that particular time, etc etc. thankfully Japanese is a very flexible language when it comes to pronouns in general and doesn’t even require usage of…

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “TERFs are always gross to get attention from, but thank you for posting…”

March 2, 2017 /

anonymous said: TERFs are always gross to get attention from, but thank you for posting that so we all know what assholes to block. (re: this post) *shrugs* they’re similar to the porn bots that are common on Tumblr in more ways than one, honestly. one finds your post based on systematic keyword / tag searches and once one has latched onto a post, lots of others inevitably follow. i usually just block and (try to) ignore them as they come without saying or doing anything to give them the platform or audience that they want, but i was especially annoyed last night, so… definitely best to just block and ignore rather than engage in any way. probably should have contained my venting to Twitter, but oh well. at least someone found my venting useful.

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016
Feedback, Japan[ese], Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A not Q&A: “I had no idea that they had any sort of queer events since it seems pretty taboo in most Asian countries.”

March 1, 2017 /

anonymous said: I’m so sorry that terfs hijacked your post like that omg. I’m a big fan of Japanese culture and I want to visit one day and I had no idea that they had any sort of queer events since it seems pretty taboo in most Asian countries. Despite terfs soiling it, I actually learned something new so thank you so much! (re: this post) no problem, anon. no matter how taboo or even illegal it may be, there will always be queer people in any given country who do more than survive; they live their life and at times come together to support each other and enjoy each others company, just like anywhere else. it’s more a matter of how private or well-known such information happens to be and i’m more than happy to help if i can re: Japan.

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016
[A]sexuality, Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “i’ve only ever felt feelings for boys but about a month ago i made a new friend, she’s bi…”

March 1, 2017 / No Comments

anonymous said: i’ve only ever felt feelings for boys but about a month ago i made a new friend, she’s bi, i can see myself holding her hand and kissing her and i’m okay with that, i wouldn’t mind that. i’ve never felt this way about a girl before and honestly i’m so confused. i’ve never seen myself in the way w a girl before. most of my friends are bi, or gay, i am one out of the three straights in our group. but i’m not sure anymore any advice ? it can be really confusing, disorientating and even scary to be faced with feelings / experiences that you’ve never had before. perhaps try thinking of it as an opportunity to explore something new rather than it being something that you have to figure out about yourself. life in general is an adventure that we’re all living rather than…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A not Q&A: “just wanted to comment towards your post about the fracturing of the asexual community…”

February 26, 2017 / No Comments

anonymous said: hey i just wanted to comment towards your post about the fracturing of the asexual community. i think that has to do with the history the ace community has on tumblr. two, three years ago, the argument wasn’t whether aces belonged to the community; the argument was ‘you aren’t asexual if you aren’t sex-repulsed’, which was debated and disputed for a very long time until terms like grey-, demi-, that sort of stuff started to come out and become more popular and accepted. the discourse used to be ‘a is for asexual, not allies’ and about being sex repulsed. and i think that the struggle to find validity in /their own community/ has caused a lot of splintering that has affected how people treat the ace community today. NOT to say they are to blame for how they’re treated, by any means, i don’t want it to come…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “…being nonbinary, does it ever get difficult to navigate different aspects of your life because of you being nonbinary?”

February 22, 2017 / No Comments

anonymous said: So I wanted to ask being nonbinary, does it ever get difficult to navigate different aspects of your life because of you being nonbinary, specifically things like dealing with career, or a hobby or a passion that you have, where it feels like you have to hide or compromise who you are in order to retain that aspect of your life. I ask because right now i’m thinking of transitioning and even though i’m financially independant it feels like my different interests are tying me down 1/2 and that in order not to loose those interests I have to compromise various aspects of me being nonbinary, like for instance I do singing and karate and it feels like if I ever wanted to start transitioning I’d have to give those things up or say that i’m binary trans in order to justify transitioning, It feels like i’m at…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “…does anyone ever talk about how jobs can limit one’s choices for gender presentation?”

February 21, 2017 / No Comments

anonymous said: Concerning being either GNC or nonbinary, does anyone ever talk about how jobs can limit one’s choices for gender presentation? I’m in hard science, which tends to have much stricter standards of “professional presentation” (and thus gender-performance), than the humanities. I couldn’t get away with half of the presentation stuff that people on Tumblr endlessly espouse if I want to actually get a job in my chosen field, which is then used as proof that I’m a faker and trend-follower. unfortunately i don’t have any links on hand to offer you, but i have seen many people both online and offline talk about the limitations (or even complete inability) that they face regarding being able to present themselves in a way that reflects their gender (or lack thereof)– both in regards to on the job and as a student because of standards re: “professionalism”. especially here in Japan…

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Vesper H.

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Feedback, Q&A

Feedback: “i just read your post on HuffPo and I just love it…”

February 21, 2017 /

inariedwards said: hi i just read your post on HuffPo and I just love it and it was lovely to see someone the same age as me to talk about being late to the non-binary thing like I was, y’know? 🙂 so anyway, this is just a hello and a thank you 🙂 have an excellent day (re: this post) hello and thanks both for reading the article and for the kind message. 🙂 indeed, it means a lot to me whenever i come across something written / made by someone my age or older pertaining to both their age and being non-binary. i wish i came across things like that more often… again, thanks for the message. have a great day yourself!

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016
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Feedback: “…you are one of my favorite blogs”

February 15, 2017 /

anonymous said: I just returned to tumblr after a rather long hiatus and I just came across a post of yours and remembered how awesome and fantastic you are, and felt the need to inform you that you are one of my favorite blogs <3 thanks for the kind words, anon. it was nice reading them, especially at the moment as i find myself increasingly uncomfortable and anxious existing on this site.

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016