anon Archives | Page 14 of 29 | Queer As Cat

Gender[queer], Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: ” can’t find a word that completely describes myself. Perhaps you can help.”

August 1, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Despite reading lexicons, I can’t find a word that completely describes myself. Perhaps you can help. Description of my person: AFAB, I love and I’m happy with my female body, don’t want a male body; crossdressing, men’s clothes, very feminine underwear, make-up, long hair, love my androgynous face. Psychologically sometimes really feel like I’m a man, sometimes quite like a girl, rarely completely like a girl. …this may make me come across as an ass, but i feel obligated to point out that you’re not going to find any one word that encompasses what just took you 46 words to convey. in fact, i’m sure that even those 46 words are only scratching at the surface of who you are as a person. …and i know that all i’ve just done is state the obvious. bear with me. for many people, when it comes to finding words to…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “…maybe that anon was talking about nonsexual love mixed with nonromantic sex.”

August 1, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: I saw your answer about fraysexuality. I don’t know if I can be helpful but maybe that anon was talking about nonsexual love mixed with nonromantic sex. This is how I feel myself but I could not find a word mixing my sexuality and my romantic attraction. And I would love to find this word. The definition of fraysexual doesn’t describe how I feel. (re: this post) i very well could have misunderstood the anon in that ask. perhaps they, like you, feel like fraysexual isn’t the word they’re looking for. nonsexual love mixed with nonromantic sex… i’m afraid that i’m drawing a blank when it comes to thinking of a word that encompasses all of that. which isn’t to say that such a word doesn’t exist, i just don’t know of it or am unable to think of it at the moment. can anyone else help anon…

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “Thanks for the heteroromantic homosexual flag and thank you for your responses…”

July 31, 2016 /

anonymous said: Thanks for the heteroromantic homosexual flag and thank you for your responses and other people for their nice comments when this other tumblr user was more or less telling I’m not normal. It took more than 30 years before I could name my orientation and I was so happy when I was finally could do it. So it’s not nice to be insulted by someone who wasn’t asked a thing. Sorry if you were annoyed because of me and sorry for my bad English, it’s not my mother tongue. And again THANKS. (re: this post) no problem, anon, and no worries. i’m more than happy to help when i can and your English is great. i was annoyed at the other person, not you. 🙂

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I can’t have sex with someone I love and I can only have sex with someone when…”

July 31, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: I can’t have sex with someone I love and I can only have sex with someone when I don’t have feelings for this person. A name for me? I read about allochronic orientation. fraysexuality comes to mind and may be something worth looking into. including a link to get you started because, sadly, there seems to be a lot of negativity being directed at this orientation. if you do look into this orientation, take care doing so, anon.

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “Do you know a pride flag for heteroromantic homosexual?”

July 31, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi. Do you know a pride flag for heteroromantic homosexual? Thanks hello. 🙂 there are no ‘official’ flags for mixed orientations (romantic & sexual orientations which differ from each other), but many people use the flag that is common for sexual orientations with a heart in the center in the colors of their romantic orientation. since i couldn’t find a decent example to link you to, i made one. here you go.

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I have a question regarding the Japanese use of the terms asexual and nonsexual…”

July 27, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous post: I have a question regarding the Japanese use of the terms asexual and nonsexual. Is asexual generally used by all aces on the aromantic spectrum or do arospec aces who sometimes feel romantic attraction (such as grey aromantics) typically prefer to use nonsexual? I’d like to get more involved with the ace community when I (hopefully) move to Japan, but I feel like the Japanese terminology doesn’t even let me describe myself… (re: this post) bearing in mind that everything i’m about to say is based entirely on my own limited experience and observation… i can count the number of times i’ve met or heard of a Japanese person actively identifying in some way as gray or demi on one hand. generally speaking, awareness of nuanced ace & aro spectrum identities / orientations is hardly a thing among Japanese aces. the only time i hear any explicit mention of…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “Am I overreacting? Here in the UK it’s not called rape…”

July 16, 2016 / No Comments

cw: sexual assault anonymous said: TW: rape. A girl digitally raped me when I was 8. I only recently remembered & I’m worried that I might have caught STI/STDs from what she did. It was in a toilet & she never washed her hands (risk of faecal matter?), bit her finger nails (risk blood & saliva inside me, too). her nails were sharp&ragged, so might’ve scratched me inside. It was 14 yrs ago & I’ve never (nor ever will) have sex, so should I get tested/Am I overreacting? Here in the UK it’s not called rape, so I feel invalidated. anon, i’m afraid that i’m probably among the least qualified people to offer you any kind of advice or suggestions when it comes to something like this. off the top of my head, i can’t even think of any trustworthy resources to point you to… that said, i do not…

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “Thank you so much for writing “that time i did nothing: assumed consent & retraction thereof”…”

July 16, 2016 /

anonymous said: Thank you so much for writing “that time i did nothing: assumed consent & retraction thereof”. I was in the same situation with a then boyfriend several times and I don’t know how to classify/ deal with it. Your internal monologue was so familiar. It’s good to know that I’m not the only one struggling with this. Thanks again for posting this and I hope you’re doing well. Kindest regards (re: this post) thank you for the kind message, anon. posting that post helped me realize that i’m far from the only person struggling with navigating an experience like that and it really does mean a lot to know that you’re not the only one. you writing this message adds to that, so thank you again and all the best to you as well.

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “how long have you been studying esperanto?”

July 13, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: hello Vesper! how long have you been studying esperanto? and would you consider yourself fluent/conversational? I know it’s known as a “simple language” but I’m still unsure as to whether or not it’s worth learning actively since it’s not a common language in real life compared to other languages. do you speak it often? sorry if these are too many questions. sal. 🙂 not too many questions at all. i started learning Esperanto in 2003 and would say that i’m pretty conversational / fluent in it. that said, i go in and out of actively using it and when i’m not actively using it, i get rusty and have to brush up on it to get back to where i used to be, just like with any other language. Esperanto’s reputation of being an easy enough language to learn in 6 months is true, but it can take longer…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I’m thinking about using the meaning of my given name as my name…”

July 13, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: I’m thinking about using the meaning of my given name as my name, but it sounds a little odd. So I was going to remove a letter, but removing a letter made it identical to a name from a culture I don’t belong to. Since it’s a deliberate variation of a word that isn’t culturally specific is it okay? Or should I leave it be an look for something else? Would using the variation as a nickname and the other as the official name be better? I’m not sure and it’s giving me anxiety. no matter who you ask this question to, i feel like the answer that you get is inevitably going to be a subjective one dependent on the personal opinion of the person answering the question because there is no rulebook for names and cultural appropriation. in other words, all i can do is tell…

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Vesper H.

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