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Queer As Cat

gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

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  • Home
  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

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? QAC 77 – Legal Name Change || Non-Binary Gender Markers || “”Deadnames”“ || NEVADA

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July 13, 2019

“love languages”?? communication tool.

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May 1, 2019

Japanese gender / queer theory, anyone?

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May 22, 2017

identity politics leave little room for agency; a thought.

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July 21, 2017

“…what it means to become America’s boogieman”

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July 12, 2017
  • Gender[queer],  Queer[ness],  YouTube[r]

    QAC 62 – The Road To HRT: Fears, Goals & Compromise || Non-Binary || The T Files #002

    December 11, 2017 / No Comments

    when i first started this channel not long after having just began to explore and embrace my gender, i didn’t consider HRT / testosterone to even be a card on the table for me to play. HRT was something that others did and that i was judged for not wanting to do; it was for people who experienced “real”, bodily dysphoria, not people like me whose dysphoria was largely derivative of society and whose complicated relationship with the very idea of medically “transitioning” was used as a means of invalidation by others. i can’t help but imagine 2013 Vesper looking at 2017 Vesper with silent, candid irony as they brush aside the years of others’ bullshit to finally confront their own.

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    QAC 67 – 2 Months on HRT || Testosterone | Anemia | Non-Binary || The T Files #006

    March 19, 2018

    QAC 35 – Body Image: An Intersection of Black, Non-binary & Asexual Identity

    March 16, 2015

    adventures in Japanese TV: “Gathering of 13 Trans Women”

    February 9, 2017
  • [Random] Thoughts,  Black[ness],  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness]

    whiteness as default

    December 10, 2017 / No Comments

    as usual, i find myself turning to YouTube as a resource for information only to be reminded that…. YouTube is So Damn White. most things non-binary and / or trans are So Damn White. a search for “non-binary” and “testosterone” turns up almost nothing but skinny, short haired, white, non-binary people, none of whom i can really see myself in. which is nothing new. that’s part of the reason i’m on YouTube in the first place. beyond that, a bigger problem that i find myself faced with is that the very image / concept of “androgyny” or stereotypical “non-binary appearance” is inherently linked to whiteness. i want people to pause before they misgender me (seeing as how they will inevitably misgender me regardless) and the best way to bring about that is, presumably, androgynous appearance. however, androgyny feels unobtainable to me as a black person, because no matter what i…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    pen. ink. paper: journaling as self-care

    January 27, 2019

    missiles and tweets.

    August 28, 2017

    …one of many examples of why navigating セクマイ / LGBTQIA spaces in Japan can be painful at times.

    October 7, 2016
  • [Random] Thoughts,  Black[ness],  Gender[queer],  Mental [Un]health,  Queer[ness]

    gender feels; racial trauma.

    December 6, 2017 / No Comments

    as usual, i find myself turning to YouTube as a resource for information only to be reminded that…. YouTube is So Damn White. most things non-binary and / or trans are So Damn White. a search for “non-binary” and “testosterone” turns up almost nothing but skinny, short haired, white, non-binary people, none of whom i can really see myself in. which is nothing new. that’s part of the reason i’m on YouTube in the first place.

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    re: gaslighting in the aftermath of the 2016 US presidential election

    November 19, 2016

    …and here we are. again. (cw: homophobia, nsfw)

    July 17, 2018

    Documentary Explores The Reality Of Being Black And Gay In The Church

    November 14, 2015
  • Gender[queer],  Japan[ese],  Queer[ness],  YouTube[r]

    QAC 61 – Non-Binary Gender Identity Disorder (GID) & HRT in Japan | The T Files #001

    December 4, 2017 / No Comments

    after years of whining and moaning about it, i’m finally doing it; i’ll be starting HRT soon– and in Japan, no less. 2014 Vesper, who made an entire video about NOT “transitioning” in Japan, is eating their words. what’s made me change my mind now? how does one start HRT in Japan? as a non-binary person?? Gender Identity Disorder??? in this video, i talk about all the above, as well as recap the “highlights” of my recent appointment with a psychologist to get diagnosed with GID; a necessary first step to [legally] starting HRT from scratch in Japan. [ cw: vague sex mention @ 11:27 ~ 11:55; reproductive body stuff ] …took me long enough to get this video up, geez.

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    mission Read All The Queer Manga

    December 18, 2016

    QAC 62 – The Road To HRT: Fears, Goals & Compromise || Non-Binary || The T Files #002

    December 11, 2017

    Re: “”Visibility””

    September 18, 2017
  • [Random] Thoughts,  Black[ness],  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness]

    thank you

    November 28, 2017 / No Comments

    thank you @gc2b-apparel for the awesome sale! and thank you to BetterHelp.com, who sponsored this video about online therapy. most of all, a huge THANK YOU to everyone who watched it and to those who went a step further and even gave BetterHelp a try, you are The Awesomest Awesome to ever Awesome. i want you all to know that it’s entirely thanks to you that i can even afford these new binders at all. after nearly 4 years of wearing the same binders, which don’t even really bind at all anymore– which in turn has caused me many “ffffff– gotta layer! ffffff– layering does nothing– FFFFF” days– it’s more than about time that i get new ones. upcoming binder review once they make it to Japan and i’ve had time to try them out? probably. perhaps what i’m looking forward to the most is seeing how Nude No. 2 looks against my skin…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    totally random Yukihari / hazardaĵo pri Yukihari

    June 26, 2014

    whiteness as default

    December 10, 2017

    #2016BestNine: Last Minute Selfie Positivity

    December 30, 2016
  • Feedback

    Feedback: “I love your cat”

    November 28, 2017 /

    anonymous said: I love your cat

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Feedback

    Feedback: “I’m really glad you’re here…”

    November 28, 2017 /

    anonymous said: I’m really glad you’re here, and for your blog. Thank you for sharing your work and ideas with all of us. you’re too kind, anon. thank you. <3

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Gender[queer],  Japan[ese],  Queer[ness]

    re: one step forward, zero steps back?

    November 27, 2017 / No Comments

    queerascat: so, after going to an appointment with my psychiatrist and blabbering about how much being around my family fucks me up whenever i go “home” for the holidays, which i’d be doing in less than a month’s time, causing him to be like “but what if you relapse??? consider upping your meds before you go???” and me being like “at least i’m on meds at all this time around so lolololol nah”– i felt the need to just…. really DO something yesterday. so i did the something. and the something will happen 4realz for realz tomorrow. so yeah, Anxiety word vomit blogging at 9:35pm at Starbucks. over the past three weeks or so i’ve been emailing a clinic that had been recommended to me by a friend re: starting HRT. after three weeks of no response to said emails, i decided to sneak out of work yesterday (because the clinic is seemingly…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    QAC 68 – 3 Months on T: Libido Changes || Non-Binary | Asexual || The T Files #007

    April 15, 2018

    QAC 10 – Gender Dysphoria & Body Mods

    July 6, 2013

    QAC 29 – (Not) Coping + 3 More Years in Japan

    August 24, 2014
  • Gender[queer],  Japan[ese],  Mental [Un]health,  Queer[ness]

    one step forward, zero steps back?

    November 26, 2017 / No Comments

    so, after going to an appointment with my psychiatrist and blabbering about how much being around my family fucks me up whenever i go “home” for the holidays, which i’d be doing in less than a month’s time, causing him to be like “but what if you relapse??? consider upping your meds before you go???” and me being like “at least i’m on meds at all this time around so lolololol nah”– i felt the need to just…. really DO something yesterday. so i did the something. and the something will happen 4realz for realz tomorrow. so yeah, Anxiety word vomit blogging at 9:35pm at Starbucks. over the past three weeks or so i’ve been emailing a clinic that had been recommended to me by a friend re: starting HRT. after three weeks of no response to said emails, i decided to sneak out of work yesterday (because the clinic is seemingly only…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Ace & Non-binary Pride @Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2015 (04/26/15)

    May 10, 2015

    ….so i did a doodle.

    March 19, 2013

    QAC 35 – Body Image: An Intersection of Black, Non-binary & Asexual Identity

    March 16, 2015
  • [A]sexuality,  [Random] Thoughts,  Gender[queer],  Japan[ese],  Queer[ness]

    Ash Hardell’s “The ABC’s of LGBT+” in Japanese!

    November 25, 2017 / No Comments

    …..annnd look what i randomly* stumbled across at the bookstore tonight. Ash Hardell’s “The ABC’s of LGBT+” in Japanese! even Amazon Japan doesn’t seem to have it yet, but somehow Kinokuniya has it? which makes absolutely no sense, but hey! not complaining. it’s a complete translation of Ash Hardell’s book, including a lot of ace and non-binary terminology such as aceflex, quoiromantic, genderfluid and maverique transliterated phonetically into Japanese approximates.** even the [English] pronouns section is translated into Japanese, which i kinda have feelings about as to how helpful that and / or phonetic translations will be for Japanese people who will be approaching this book from a cultural and linguistic context that is not the same as that of a native English / germanic or romance language speaker. that said, at a glance, there does seem to be added explaination of English grammar to help non-English speakers better understand gender…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    tfw TERFs.

    March 1, 2017

    *scribble scribble*

    September 15, 2016

    QAC 41 – Am I Asexual? | Never Too Young To Know

    October 18, 2015
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VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

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Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

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