Q&A Archives | Page 15 of 36 | Queer As Cat

Feedback, Q&A

Q&A not Q&A: “i’m nonbinary and i’m also aro/ace. i no longer WANT to be part of [the LGBT] community…”

September 15, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: okay sorry for dragging this in here, but. i’m nonbinary. and ppl have been saying that nb ppl ARE lgbt+. but here’s the thing: i’m also aro/ace. i no longer WANT to be part of that community, even if i “qualify” bc at the end of the day, they still don’t want me there. they may be accepting of my identity as nb, but that would mean ignoring my identity as aro/ace. if i’m gonna be accepted somewhere, i want to be accepted for all of me, not just part. just my 2 cents. hello anon, i feel you on this. i really do. as a non-binary, bi / pan ace i’ve also been faced with people wanting to selectively choose what part of my “counts” or is “valid reason” for me to be included in something. like you, i am of the stance that acceptance of me is an…

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “Thank you for taking a stand. I really, really hate this ‘ace-discourse’…”

September 15, 2016 /

justalittleperson said: Thank you for taking a stand. I really, really hate this “ace-discourse”, it hurts me a lot every time I come across it online. So thanks 🙂 Also you’re awesome! I’ve been following you for two years now and I really love what you do! thank you! although as far as taking a stand goes, i don’t feel like i’ve actually done anything… i kind of feel guilty for not being more active in my stance, but at the same time mental health and yeah… trying really hard (and failing) not to be angry all the time. sigh. i really do appreciate the kind message, though! i’ll be glad when this latest edition of ‘ace discourse’ finally dies down…

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016
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Re: Re: “Why do you think some nb genders are becoming more well known than other nb genders?”

September 14, 2016 / No Comments

nextstepcake: queerascat: nextstepcake: queerascat: anonymous said: Hey Vesper! I have a question. I’ve noticed that within the nonbinary and larger trans and queer and so forth communities, some nonbinary genders seem to get more recognition than others. Some- especially maverique as I’ve noticed- are hardly known of by many other nonbinary and/or trans people, while others such are gaining recognition in trans, nb, and other circles much more quickly in comparison. Why do you think some nb genders are becoming more well known than other nb genders? hi anon, this is a really tough question. not just because of how subjective it is (i mean, what even counts as ‘recognition’, let alone what counts as ‘more’ or ‘more quickly’), but also because there are an infinite number of factors involved in why any non-binary gender gets any amount of recognition at all. imho, some non-binary genders are more commonly recognized…

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Vesper H.

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re: Q&A: “Are asexuality and aromanticism not a part of LGBT+?”

September 14, 2016 / No Comments

fortunefordisaster: queerascat: anonymous said: Hi Vesper. I’m still learning about all the different genders and sexualities and spectrums and I was talking to my friend the other day who’s more knowledgable than I am, and she told me that Ace/Aro ppl are not inherently part of the LGBT+ community unless if they identify as LGBT. I’m a little confused by this. Are asexuality and aromanticism not a part of LGBT+? She basically implied that bc Ace/Aro ppl are not part of LGBT+ they do not face oppression. I’m sorry if this is confusing. hello, anon. what your friend told you is nothing but her opinion and it’s an opinion that many, myself included, disagree with. you may feel like your friend is more knowledgeable than you are about gender and sexuality, but she is by no means an expert on the oppression that others do or do not face and…

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Vesper H.

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February 23, 2016
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Q&A not Q&A: “Hi again, I’m the anon who sent the ask about my friend saying ace/aro ppl are not LGBT…”

September 13, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi again, I’m the anon who sent the ask about my friend saying ace/aro ppl are not LGBT+. I guess the reason why I asked here is because I wanted to get a broader opinion other than just hers because I was taken aback when she said that. I’ve read up on it a bit more and I get that Ace/Aro can be cis and hetero but the ace/aro identity is still there…. so I literally don’t get how they can’t be part of LGBT+ according to her, so I’ll talk it out with her. Thanks for the resources, good stuff. (re: this post) based on my observations, often the people who focus their gatekeeping efforts on cisgender heteroromantic asexuals and / or cisgender heterosexual aromantics are people who view asexuality and / or aromanticism as a “blank slate” or lack of orientation. something to be overlooked in…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “[my friend] told me that Ace/Aro ppl are not inherently part of the LGBT+ community unless if they identify as LGBT…”

September 13, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi Vesper. I’m still learning about all the different genders and sexualities and spectrums and I was talking to my friend the other day who’s more knowledgable than I am, and she told me that Ace/Aro ppl are not inherently part of the LGBT+ community unless if they identify as LGBT. I’m a little confused by this. Are asexuality and aromanticism not a part of LGBT+? She basically implied that bc Ace/Aro ppl are not part of LGBT+ they do not face oppression. I’m sorry if this is confusing. hello, anon. what your friend told you is nothing but her opinion and it’s an opinion that many, myself included, disagree with. you may feel like your friend is more knowledgeable than you are about gender and sexuality, but she is by no means an expert on the oppression that others do or do not face and it’s rather…

continue reading

Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I’ve noticed some nonbinary genders seem to get more recognition than others…”

September 12, 2016 / 1 Comment

anonymous said: Hey Vesper! I have a question. I’ve noticed that within the nonbinary and larger trans and queer and so forth communities, some nonbinary genders seem to get more recognition than others. Some- especially maverique as I’ve noticed- are hardly known of by many other nonbinary and/or trans people, while others such are gaining recognition in trans, nb, and other circles much more quickly in comparison. Why do you think some nb genders are becoming more well known than other nb genders? hi anon, this is a really tough question. not just because of how subjective it is (i mean, what even counts as ‘recognition’, let alone what counts as ‘more’ or ‘more quickly’), but also because there are an infinite number of factors involved in why any non-binary gender gets any amount of recognition at all. imho, some non-binary genders are more commonly recognized at least in part…

continue reading

Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to say your presence on tumblr and YouTube has really inspired me…”

September 10, 2016 /

anonymous said: I just wanted to say your presence on tumblr and YouTube has really inspired me. When I’m in a better situation where I can be out in a few years, I (as a neutrois person) am eager to become a nonbinary youtuber. Your videos have really inspired me to, one day, be open about who I am and talk on subjects hat are important to me. it really is an honor, anon, to have been inspirational to you and to receive a message like this. thank you. <3 i genuinely look forward to seeing you on YouTube (and/or Tumblr) some day. i don’t take for granted the fact that i’m able to be out on the internet like i am because i know that many aren’t in such a position. i also think that wanting to talk about subjects that are important to you on YouTube is incredibly…

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016
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Feedback: “you know sometimes i don’t go on your blog for a long time and then…”

September 9, 2016 /

anonymous said: you know sometimes i don’t go on your blog for a long time and then i see you on my dash again and i read your posts or watch your videos and i think damn. you’re so intelligent and charismatic, i mean you express yourself so well and your ideas are so interesting. thank you for being in this world, you rock. ……..i’ve literally stared at this ask for a good 20 minutes and all i can say is: *incredibly grateful yet uncomfortable and doesn’t know what to do because Unwarranted Kindness noises* <3

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
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Q&A: “I can’t explain why it’s so easy for me to say I’m trans and so hard to say I’m a lesbian…”

September 9, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hello. I’ve always been aware and proud, even as a kid, of my transgender identity. It was never hidden. But when it comes to sexuality it’s another story. Now that I’m older, I know that I have always been a lesbian but the less I can say is that I’m not very clear about it, I’m ambiguous when I speak about sexual orientation with people. Always fighting for lgbt rights but not saying clearly that I’m gay. I can’t explain why it’s so easy for me to say I’m trans and so hard to say I’m a lesbian hi, anon. i’m afraid that i don’t have any solid answers for you… i’m sure that a lot is involved in why you find it so hard to be as open about your sexuality as you are about being trans. to throw out but a few (among many) possible factors,…

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Vesper H.

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