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Queer As Cat

gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

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  • Home
  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

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  • Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “…it makes me feel invalid whenever she does that. if you have any advice, i’d appreciate it.”

    October 17, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: my friend’s best friend recently came out as trans and my friend only refers to them as their preferred name. there’s nothing wrong with that, except i told the same friend my preferred name a year ago and she rarely uses it, even when it’s just us. we’ve talked about it, but she still continues to use my birth name around me. i’m not really sure what to do, since we’ve already talked about it, but it makes me feel invalid whenever she does that. if you have any advice, i’d appreciate it wow, what an incredibly shitty thing to do. :/ this isn’t actual advice so much as it just being what i personally might do in such a situation, but…. i imagine that i’d handle this in much the same way i would someone who insists on misgendering me. that is, i’d stop responding to the…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    …the things i do to not be a ひきこもり (その①)

    March 11, 2016

    QAC 26 – Gender Dysphoria: It’s Complicated. (a rant)

    June 30, 2014

    “maverique” v3.0

    June 21, 2014
  • Feedback,  Q&A

    Feedback: “From the coming out anon: Thank you for the advice…”

    October 17, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: From the coming out anon: Thank you for the advice, Vesper, I really do appreciate it. I think I might try doing just that the next time it comes up. Thank you for the help. 🙂 ( re: this post ) no problem, anon. wishing you the best in general, but even more so if / when you do come out to your friend. 🙂

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Feedback,  Q&A

    Feedback: “…thanks for the advice….”

    October 17, 2016 / No Comments

    Kat said: I came out to her she accepted it and she didn’t go thro with the blind date thank you she said I might be aro tho also thanks for the advice keep up the good blog -Kat ( re: this post & this post ) so glad to hear that things went well for you, Kat. thanks for coming back to let me know and i wish you all the best in the future. p.s. don’t worry about what she thinks about you being aro. what you think is the only thing that matters.

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  [Random] Thoughts,  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness]

    them gay enbian feels

    October 16, 2016 / No Comments

    archiving Twitter stuff. again. i should really stop saying meaningful (to me) things on Twitter where it’ll disappear into my feed beyond retrieval. that or, you know, i could just rehash the same thoughts directly on Tumblr… but where’s the fun in that? anyway, random thoughts on being bi / pan and enbian– wooo…. but see, it gets even ““gayer”” because by “nbs like themself” i totally mean non-binary people who are like me and i don’t just mean in that they’re also non-binary. for one, binary people aren’t the only people who can be (hyper)masculine and / or (hyper)feminine. secondly, masculinity / femininity isn’t even a defining factor of attraction for me, even if it can be a potential point of aversion… my understanding of my own attraction may be nearly as nebulous as my actual experience with it, but if there’s one thing that i know for sure it’s that any attraction i do…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    QAC 04 – Why I Identify as Panromantic & Biromantic

    May 24, 2013

    QAC 36 – What Acephobia & Asexual Erasure Looks Like

    April 27, 2015

    QAC 01 – Introduction

    May 11, 2013
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I want to come out to my friend, but I just don’t know the words for it…”

    October 16, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I want to come out to my friend, but I just don’t know the words for it. I think she already knows, but I want to confirm it and then talk about it, because I’m tried of being alone. Any advice, vesper? i don’t know if this would work for you, anon, but… since you suspect that your friend may already know, perhaps you could go off of that and just casually slip it into a random conversation instead of making it a serious conversation specifically about you coming out? by that i mean that if an even vaguely related topic just happened to came up, you could say something like “well, being ______ and all, i feel like….” or “you know, i must be ____ as hell because i totally…..” or some other casual way of mentioning your sexuality / gender / etc phrased in a way that implies…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    QAC 54 – Confusing Gender Envy & Admiration with Attraction || Non-Binary | Asexual

    October 10, 2016

    「やがて君になる」/ “Yagate Kimi ni Naru”: an aro/ace coded, sapphic ‘love story’…?

    October 8, 2018

    Ie Uru Onna Gyakushuu S2E3: “A home that is accepting of all [kinds of] love?!”

    January 24, 2019
  • [A]sexuality,  Feedback,  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness]

    Feedback: “I saw your video about confusing gender attraction with gender envy/admiration and as newly realised asexual it really hit a chord with me…”

    October 15, 2016 /

    anonymous said: I saw your video about confusing gender attraction with gender envy/admiration and as newly realised asexual it really hit a chord with me… I think this is what I’ve been experiencing a lot, seeing people and wanting to be like they are because they’re so free or happy with how they express themselves, and calling it attraction like my friends call it attraction when they see a guy and want to do him, when it’s not the same at all. ( re: this post ) yeah, attraction is really complicated because there’s so much involved… sometimes even gender envy / admiration can be a involved when one experiences attraction, but yeah. it’s also a thing in and of itself that may not be related to attraction at all. thanks for sharing your experiences, anon. 🙂

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    QAC 51 – #ProudToBe Black Non-Binary Bi Pan AND Asexual

    June 22, 2016

    QAC 13 – Staying In The Closet

    August 11, 2013

    “love languages”?? communication tool.

    May 1, 2019
  • Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “Would it be possible for someone to identify as maverique & neutrois?”

    October 14, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Would it be possible for someone to identify as maverique & neutrois? Or would that person have to identify as either the latter or the former? yes, a person can be both maverique and neutrois. there are no rules or limitations as to what a person can be or how a person can identify. if someone is maverique and neutrois, there’s no reason why they couldn’t identify as maverique and neutrois.

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Snapchat rant #163

    July 2, 2016

    QAC 71 – Testosterone, Libido & Asexuality: Has HRT Changed My Sexuality? || The T Files #009

    July 9, 2018

    …mmm, so.

    March 24, 2017
  • Feedback,  Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Feedback: “I really want to thank you for introducing me to the term “maverique” because…”

    October 14, 2016 /

    anonymous said: I really want to thank you for introducing me to the term “maverique” because I think I’ve found something that describes me in a way. I’ve always felt like I wasn’t a boy or a girl, and that I was simply just myself. A person. So now I’m glad to have found a term that describes that. ;v; Thank you so much. being maverique, someone with a distinct gender that is independent from both male and female gender can be tough! everyone regardless of gender is just being themself, a person, but when you don’t even have a word to conceptualize your gender with because everything else is tied to male and / or female…. yeah. glad you found a word that works for you, anon. 🙂

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  Feedback,  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness]

    Feedback: “Your video on gender envy/admiration really spoke to me.”

    October 14, 2016 /

    anonymous said: Your video on gender envy/admiration really spoke to me. When I figured out my aroace identity and my predominate aesthetic attraction to femme people I didn’t quite understand how I had convinced myself I was straight for so long. I feel like later after I realized I was masc non binary it explained more of my assumed attraction to masc people as being more along the lines of “i want to be like them”. ( re: this post ) ah, i can relate to the “convinced myself i was straight for so long” thing. i very much feel like gender envy / admiration (among other things) played a part in me falling for the whole “straight by default” (among other) shit that society fed me from Day 1 and that i likely would have broken free of that sooner had i recognized gender envy / admiration for what it…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    QAC 66 – Split Attraction Model: Opting Out Of Romantic Orientations || Grayromantic | Asexual

    March 12, 2018

    humbled

    July 31, 2018

    QAC 41 – Am I Asexual? | Never Too Young To Know

    October 18, 2015
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I’ve recently been questioning my romantic orientation…”

    October 14, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hi, I’ve recently been questioning my romantic orientation. Mainly because I don’t really care what someone’s gender is… Like as long as you’re not a jerk I’m okay with you. For some reason I just don’t know if I’m actually Asexual Heteroromantic, like it’s typically the male gender that I want to have a romantic relationship with but I’ve felt that way about girls? What am I?! (Also I recently discovered your blog and I thinks it’s awesome.) hello and thanks for following. 🙂 i’m afraid that i can’t tell you what you are. after all, there’s no way that i could know more about you than you know about yourself. that said, if you feel like you might be attracted to people of more than one gender (or any gender) then perhaps you are…? trust in your own feelings, but also keep in mind that it’s perfectly fine…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    …mmm, so.

    March 24, 2017

    on the discrepancy between “asexual” in English & Japanese and confusion regarding demisexuality.

    May 12, 2017

    QAC 66 – Split Attraction Model: Opting Out Of Romantic Orientations || Grayromantic | Asexual

    March 12, 2018
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VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

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Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

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