2015 | Page 11 of 14 | Queer As Cat

[A]sexuality, [Random] Thoughts, Gender[queer], Japan[ese], Queer[ness]

pre-セクマイの交流会 jitters

June 13, 2015 / No Comments

going to another LGBTQIA+ 交流会 / meeting tomorrow and i’m really excited (+ nervous)! unlike all of the past meetings/events that i’ve been to here in Japan, this one explicitly welcomes: bisexuals pansexuals asexuals gray asexuals polyamorous people transgender people genderfluid people genderless / agender people bigender people maveriques people who are questioning as in the website for the meeting describes each and every one of these identities individually rather than using some umbrella term, acronym with symbols, “セクマイ” (commonly used in Japan in place of “LGBT”) or some footnote to mention these people. AND unlike so many LGBTQIA+ events which are held at night / in a club / over alcohol, this event will be like a big tea party and 100% open to minors. AND it’s being held in my little “inaka” (countryside) prefecture, not in fuckin’ Tokyo. HOW FUCKIN’ AWESOME IS THAT??? major props to you, True Colors Project.…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “What is the best way to help myself figure out [whether I’m bi or pan]?”

June 7, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: So I can’t tell if I am closer to pan or bi because I live in an area where most people are male or female. What is the best way to help myself figure that out? listen to your heart and go with whichever word you feel describes you. you don’t have to have experience with a person of every gender to identify as one or the other. just go with what feels right based on how you feel now and in the future, if it turns out that another word describes you better, than you can switch to using that word if you so choose. just checking, but do you know that both may describe you? because there is overlap between the two. [+bonus reading]

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “Im a lesbian and i am not attracted to penises at all. the girl im dating is trans and…”

June 7, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: Im a lesbian and i am not attracted to penises at all,the girl im dating is trans shes really great and im attracted to her but im unsure if i would enjoy having sex with her and i do not want her to be offened for not being attracted to her genitals hello, anon. you don’t seem to be asking a question in this ask, so i’m unsure what kind of response you’re looking for. that said, there seems to be something that you haven’t considered (or at least haven’t mentioned here) that i’d like to point out. while it’s good that you’re concerned about how your lack of attraction* to certain genitalia could be offensive to your girlfriend, you don’t seem to have considered her feelings beyond that? that she may not be comfortable having sex with you to begin with for various reasons. the topic…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “How can I tell the difference between libido and sexual attraction?”

June 1, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: So, I have identified as a panromantic asexual for a while now, but I just entered my first romantic relationship and am beginning to question this. We make out sometimes, and I get aroused. How can I tell the difference between libido and sexual attraction? He’s the only one I would want to have sex with, but is this sexual attraction or just loyalty to my partner? hello, anon! sorry for taking so long to respond to your ask! i can’t tell you whether what you’re experiencing is one thing or another. ultimately, only you can decide that. i can say, however, that becoming aroused can and does happen to anyone, regardless of what their sexual orientation is. it’s simply a physiological reaction to stimuli which has no bearing on one’s sexual orientation. also, i personally do not consider arousal to be the same thing as libido/sex…

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Vesper H.

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TBS to air 2 hour special on “Lesbian Marriage” (May 25th @7:00pm)

May 24, 2015 / No Comments

tomorrow, May 25th @7:00pm on the TBS show 「私の何がイケないの？」 (”What’s wrong with me?”) will be airing a 2 hour special. the topic? “Lesbian Marriage”. apparently the show will be discussing the recent legalization of civil unions (Japan’s calling it marriage but it really isn’t) in Shibuya-ku, the “marriage” of a female geinojin to her wife, the relationship between a former Takarazuka star and her partner and a trans woman (they describe her using the term 女装, ugh) who teaches at Todai?? if anyone gets a chance to watch this, could you let me know what you thought of it? i’ll be at work tomorrow during it, but i’m already cringing a what will probably happen during the show, based on various past experiences with Japan’s media coverage of the LGBT community…

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Vesper H.

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tattoo update

May 24, 2015 / No Comments

one more session to go next month and it’s finished! 😀 just had to show it off online since my employer is making me keep it covered up irl. ;( the design is by me in collaboration with Oshima-san of Apocaript. an update for those who were interested in my last posts. for those who dislike this kind of thing, sorry. this will probably the last time i post about my sleeve between now and when i make my body mod video in August?

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Vesper H.

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…one of many examples of why navigating セクマイ / LGBTQIA spaces in Japan can be painful at times.
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just got back from a local LGBT meetup…

May 17, 2015 / No Comments

25 or so people where there, 2 of which were gaijin/foreigners to my surprise! w00t! we went to a national park nearby, saw the sights and had a picnic. i had a great time, much more so than the last meetup i went to. that said, every single time i meet up with a group of cis LGB+ people i’m reminded how much they really don’t understand / know. even if they’re really awesome people who are really kind and with whom you can discuss other stuff with, when it comes to stuff that’s trans and/or non-binary related… yeah. no. now that i’ve successfully gotten my foot in the door with the local LGB community, i really hope to connect more with the T and non-binary/gender variant part of the community… 茨城県ではXジェンダーの人が意外に多いらしい。今から頑張って地本のXジェンダーやトランスの人と繋ぎたいと思う。(*￣ー￣)

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “How long have you been living in Japan? And whats the hardest…?”

May 16, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: How long have you been living in Japan? And whats the hardest cultural difference to get used to? 4 ½ years. there was a lot of culture shock and lessons learned in the earlier years, but at this point… i’d say the biggest thing that i continue to struggle with is work etiquette and social norms. regardless of where you live, there are a lot of things in life and in the work place that tend to go unsaid because people just know about these things. they’re social norms in your culture. well, when you work/live in a foreign country the locals sometimes forget that hey, your culture is different! they shouldn’t necessarily assume that you know or are comfortable with certain things! and that certain things that you do because it’s acceptable and “normal” in your culture is less acceptable or polite in their eyes, but hey! you might…

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I’ve identified with Asexuality for about a month now and I’ve found your blog & channel really helpful…”

May 14, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: This isn’t a question, but I just wanted to say that I’ve identified with Asexuality for about a month now and I’ve found your blog (and youtube channel in particular) really helpful in coming to terms with my own identity. I am also genderqueer and so can relate to a lot of the issues that you cover in your videos, both from a gender identity and a sexuality perspective and it’s really comforting to know that there is someone else who is a little like me. So a huge thank you for sharing 🙂 thank you for watching and for being so kind as to write to me. appreciate it! and i’m honored to have helped you in any way. it’s comforting for me as well to know that there are others out there dealing with the same or similar issues that i am. wishing you all…

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Vesper H.

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Ace Day: What You Should Know

May 11, 2015 / 1 Comment

many people on Tumblr recently celebrated “Ace Day” on May 8th, 2015. many of those people are completely unaware of the controversy and ill feelings that surround the creation of this day. at the same time, some people are aware of it and have responded to it by not participating. that said, i’ve seen people (who obviously mean well) commenting both in posts and in tags shit that basically boils down to “TDOV copied/piggybacked off of the blackout day! how racist! we shouldn’t be like them!” please educate yourselves. TDOV predates the blackout, having been celebrated since 2010. TDOV isn’t a f’kin selfie day. it was founded by Rachel Candall to create a more cheerful and positive day to celebrate and recognize trans people, as opposed to the much more somber Transgender Day of Rememberance, the only other international event specifically about trans people who have passed away. but you…

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Vesper H.

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