ever tried to come out to someone only to be met with “i already knew that”? before last week, i couldn’t say that i have, but when a coworker thinks their “gaydar” is on-point, but that gaydar ever-so-predictably fails to extend beyond just “GAY”, mental eye rolling, story time and a mini word vomit ensue. what does it mean to be “visibly queer” and why is it that more often than not ‘queer’ is often taken to be synonymous with “gay”? and is there any such thing as “visibly trans” or “visibly non-binary”? don’t expect to find any answers here, as it took me considerable effort just to limit my apathetic word vomit to 5 minutes zzz… two days post-recording and much sleep deprivation later…
when i first started this channel not long after having just began to explore and embrace my gender, i didn’t consider HRT / testosterone to even be a card on the table for me to play. HRT was something that others did and that i was judged for not wanting to do; it was for people who experienced “real”, bodily dysphoria, not people like me whose dysphoria was largely derivative of society and whose complicated relationship with the very idea of medically “transitioning” was used as a means of invalidation by others. i can’t help but imagine 2013 Vesper looking at 2017 Vesper with silent, candid irony as they brush aside the years of others’ bullshit to finally confront their own.
as usual, i find myself turning to YouTube as a resource for information only to be reminded that…. YouTube is So Damn White. most things non-binary and / or trans are So Damn White. a search for “non-binary” and “testosterone” turns up almost nothing but skinny, short haired, white, non-binary people, none of whom i can really see myself in. which is nothing new. that’s part of the reason i’m on YouTube in the first place. beyond that, a bigger problem that i find myself faced with is that the very image / concept of “androgyny” or stereotypical “non-binary appearance” is inherently linked to whiteness. i want people to pause before they misgender me (seeing as how they will inevitably misgender me regardless) and the best way to bring about that is, presumably, androgynous appearance. however, androgyny feels unobtainable to me as a black person, because no matter what i…
hush-hush-little-heart said: Hi! I just found out about your blog, and I’d like to ask you something. I’m part of the LGBT community, and next year I’m going to study a Japanese Philology at the university. Would you mind telling me some basic LGBT vocabulary in Japanese? Just so I can understand and talk a bit about it, please ♡ (I’m a trans boy, and pansexual btw :3) oh also! (sorry i forgot to write it in the other ask) Do you know anything about getting hormones (testosterone, in my case) in Japan? Is it easy? Just in case, because I’d like to have a job/live there in a future, at least for some time hi. 🙂 sorry for taking so long to get to your asks. regarding LGBT terminology in Japanese, it’s a little hard to answer that question because it’s so broad…. so instead, i’m going to…
anonymous said: Hey I was wondering as an Australian trans how do I get testerone hi. 🙂 assuming that you live in Australia (because i know lots of Aussies who don’t), here are some links that are relevant for pursuing testosterone in Australia. FTM Australia: Medical Transition FTM Australia: Medical Transition By State Transcend: Transgender Support By State while i don’t personally agree with everything on the FTM Australia site, it seems to have the most straight-forward resources specific to medical transition in Australia, including pursuing testosterone. Transcend’s site is less specific to medical transition, but it still may have links to state-specific resources that may be helpful for pursuing testosterone. sorry i can’t help more. good luck! 🙂