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Queer As Cat

gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

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  • Home
  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

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  • [Random] Thoughts,  Gender[queer],  Mental [Un]health,  Queer[ness]

    anemia & medical misgendering

    February 21, 2017 / No Comments

    …really frustrated with how i can’t say that i’m anemic without people in general– but especially doctors– automatically relating my anemia to the assumed fact that i have a uterus that makes my life hell once a month. like seriously, could you not? the socially established association of a medical condition with a specific gender, with a specific sex, with a specific bodily function is so inescapable that as an AFAB person who’s assumed to be a woman, the second i mention being anemic to a doctor their thoughts automatically go to assumptions about my gender / sex / bodily functions and my anemia immediately gets chalked up to anemia due to blood loss. so inescapable that here in Japan at least iron supplements are often marketed specifically towards women. so inescapable that if i mention being anemic to a woman and she’ll immediately offer up earnest words of empathy…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Sixty-six // Thirty-three

    December 22, 2018

    chronic long-term memory problems…

    July 4, 2018

    identity politics leave little room for agency; a thought.

    July 21, 2017
  • Gender[queer],  Q&A

    Q&A: “Could it be possible that there really only are 2 genders?”

    November 16, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hey, Vesper! I have a very serious question to ask. It’s about gender. It might come off as offensive, but in no means is it meant to be. Could it be possible that there really only are 2 genders? Hear me out: it can be argued that gender is not really determined by characteristics or genitals, instead more by chromosomes, XX or XY. For humans, biologically there is only male and female(no, i did not forget intersex), but gender identity can be a whole other deal! You see, gender identity can be how someone feels about their gender. Like, I was born female, but I did not feel like that fit. Male didn’t fit either, so I identify as agender. But, I didn’t really feel like it was an actual gender as much as an identity, a way for me to express myself. I may just be getting…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2016 (5/8/2016)

    May 14, 2016

    “maverique” v3.0

    June 21, 2014

    #TRP2017

    May 11, 2017
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A

    Q&A: “Am I overreacting? Here in the UK it’s not called rape…”

    July 16, 2016 / No Comments

    cw: sexual assault anonymous said: TW: rape. A girl digitally raped me when I was 8. I only recently remembered & I’m worried that I might have caught STI/STDs from what she did. It was in a toilet & she never washed her hands (risk of faecal matter?), bit her finger nails (risk blood & saliva inside me, too). her nails were sharp&ragged, so might’ve scratched me inside. It was 14 yrs ago & I’ve never (nor ever will) have sex, so should I get tested/Am I overreacting? Here in the UK it’s not called rape, so I feel invalidated. anon, i’m afraid that i’m probably among the least qualified people to offer you any kind of advice or suggestions when it comes to something like this. off the top of my head, i can’t even think of any trustworthy resources to point you to… that said, i do not…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    『[4コマ]☆ノンセクシュアル☆』

    May 25, 2016

    QAC 18 – Queer: More Than Sexuality & Gender Identity?

    October 12, 2013

    Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2017: ACES & ENBIES

    May 15, 2017
  • [A]sexuality,  Mental [Un]health,  Queer[ness]

    that time i did nothing: assumed consent & retraction thereof

    July 11, 2016 / 1 Comment

    content warning: non-graphic description of a questionable consent situation; non-graphic talk of sex, rape & trauma; self-gaslighting. this is the third and final post in a series of posts in which i’m writing about my personal experiences with sexual abuse / violence and consent issues. the first post on sexual abuse / violence can be found here. the second post on consent issues and asexuality can be found here. this post is about something that happened during a past relationship in which consent is / was questionable and the ramifications of it. consent. not a topic that i’m at all well informed about, but about which i’m writing a lot at the moment as i attempt to unpack and navigate things from my past that i have up until this point avoided doing. as i mentioned in my previous post, i’ve been in two long-term relationships spanning 9 years in total, 5…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    QAC 28 – On “Blackness”, Queer Identity & Intersectionality (a rant)

    July 14, 2014

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    QAC 72 – Outted To Religious Mom: 4 Years Later | HRT | Non-Binary Relationship || #ItGetsBetter?

    September 18, 2018
  • [A]sexuality,  Mental [Un]health,  Queer[ness]

    reflecting back on years of consent without information about asexuality

    July 11, 2016 / 1 Comment

    content warning: mentions of sex and abuse; talk of consent issues. this is the second of what has now become three posts that i’m writing about my personal experiences with sexual abuse / violence and consent issues, the first of which can be found here. this post focuses on how my ability to consent may or may not have been affected by not knowing about the existence of asexuality prior to consenting to sex in past relationships. even though there are those who insist that consent is as simple as “yes” or “no,” that there is no gray area involved– you either consented or you didn’t– for lots of people consent can be more complicated than that. in my time on Tumblr, various posts have come across my dashboard on the topic of consent and/or agency, specifically in the context of being asexual. sometimes when i read one of those posts, some…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    The Hypocrisy of YouTube: i.e. Why YouTube Is A Pink Capitalist Piece Of Shit

    #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube

    December 15, 2019

    fuck your Oppression Olympics

    September 15, 2016

    tfw TERFs.

    March 1, 2017
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “you mention neutrois having ‘some bullshit requirement of dysphoria and a desire to transition’. What did you mean by this?”

    May 27, 2016 / No Comments

    jenovaii said: Hi, I’m at the crux of being upset, but I want to make sure I’m not just misunderstanding. In your discussion of why you coined the word maverique (which is a really nice-sounding term btw), you mention neutrois’ having “some bullshit requirement of dysphoria and a desire to transition”. What did you mean by this? I’m sorry if you’ve already answered some similar clarification; i did try to look through your blog for answers before asking. You can reply privately or not, nbd.   hi and thanks for asking for clarification. 🙂 to quote the post in question more fully: i repeatedly saw people (wrongfully, imho) associating and/or confusing neutrois with agender and genderlessness, as well as throwing around some bullshit requirement of dysphoria and a desire to transition. in the above, i never actually said who was throwing around the requirements. i may be wrong, but i’m…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I didn’t hurt her, but I don’t know why she cried either?”

    April 19, 2016 / No Comments

    cw: sex mention anonymous said: I (female) had sexy-time with my sort-of-girlfriend and as I thought she was about to have an orgasm, she started crying. Of course I stopped and asked what happened after she calmed down. I didn’t hurt her, but I don’t know why she cried either? that’s something that only she can tell you, but chances are that since she didn’t tell you why when you asked at the time, it may be something that is really hard for her to talk about for various reasons. you could try asking her again, but at the same time you must be understanding if she isn’t able to tell you. apologize for hurting her even if there was no physical pain and do your best to be supportive. reassure her that you’re there for her and that you don’t want to do anything that she doesn’t want to…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “Is it possible to become asexual as you get older?”

    March 28, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Is it possible to become asexual as you get older? Like when I started puberty my hormones were through the roof so I’d masturbate but I don’t think I’ve ever really liked sex? It just doesn’t seem necessary or pleasing to me :s hi, anon. 🙂 a person’s sexuality can certainly change overtime. it’s worth noting, though, that horniness (or lack there of) has more to do with sex drive or libido than it has to do with one’s sexual orientation. anyone of any sexual orientation can have a low libido just as anyone of any sexual orientation can have a high libido, even an asexual person. in other words, your sexuality very well may have changed, but you could also be an asexual who just so happens to have (or have had) a libido and masturbates (or masturbated). even one’s libido can change without one’s sexual orientation…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    QAC 34 – Distancing Yourself From Family

    February 16, 2015

    QAC 22 – LGBTQ J-Magazines: Garçon Girls + Novia Novia

    February 10, 2014

    QAC 48 – Non-Binary Gender Norms & (A)sexuality: Yeah, No.

    March 27, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “Would it be transphobic of them to turn down the sex and instead just cuddle it out?”

    March 8, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hey! So a hypothetical question about that last post. (Pardon my assumptions on this kind of attraction, I’m aroace and trying to learn) Say someone is panromantic, but are not sexually attracted to/repulsed by penises. What if they’re dating someone for a while and are romantically very interested in them. They go to the bedroom for the first time and find out the person they were dating has a penis. Would it be transphobic of them to turn down the sex and instead just cuddle it out? (in reference to this post) if at any point or for any reason a person is uncomfortable with or does not desire sex, they are never in the wrong for voicing that and saying no to sex. this would not be transphobic at all, imho.

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2016 musings

    May 15, 2016

    QAC 51 – #ProudToBe Black Non-Binary Bi Pan AND Asexual

    June 22, 2016

    1978 Call Out Culture Is Fierce…! lmao

    November 26, 2018
  • [A]sexuality,  Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “People have told me that my attraction to women with vaginas is transphobic…”

    March 6, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: My friend & I both identify as queer women. She is only attracted to masculine-identified and presenting people with vaginas, and I am only attracted to feminine-identified and presenting people with vaginas. So she only dates masculine women and non-binary afab people and trans men, and I only date feminine women and non-binary afab people. People have told me that my attraction to women with vaginas is transphobic and hers isn’t. But what’s the difference? Am I really transphobic? i can only really tell you my opinion, which i’m sure not everyone will agree with, but… when i first read this ask i had to stop and read it over a few times because i see several things about both attractions that are potentially offensive / cissexist / transphobic. it’s obvious that you’ve tried to word things in a way that avoids misgendering people and associating gender with…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

    You May Also Like

    commentary: “Where Is The Asexual Representation in LGBTQ Pride?”

    June 10, 2017

    Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2016: Asexual & Trans / Non-binary Awesomeness!

    May 14, 2016

    『[4コマ]☆ノンセクシュアル☆』

    May 25, 2016
12

VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

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Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

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