intracommunity issues Archives | Page 8 of 9 | Queer As Cat

Q&A

Q&A: “I’ve seen some people claim the ace community is racist, transphobic, and that hetero-romantic and aromantic aces don’t belong in the LGBTQ+ community…”

March 20, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: So, I’ve seen some people claim the ace community is racist, transphobic, and that hetero-romantic and aromantic aces don’t belong in the LGBTQ+ community. I was wondering, do you think there’s racism in the ace community? I’ve never noticed any, but then I’m white, so that’s not rlly my call. I think maybe it has to do with the use of the term allosexual, which has been said to have racist and transphobic roots. What’s your opinion on “allosexual”, and do you think “het aces” shld be included in the LGBTQ+ community? there are racist (and transphobic) people everywhere and the ace community is no exception to that. however, there being racist (and transphobic) people in the ace community doesn’t make the entire community racist (or transphobic). that would be an overgeneralization. people have made the claim that the term allosexual is racist and/or transphobic, but i…

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Vesper H.

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Gender[queer], Queer[ness]

re: maverique, aporagender, aliagender and third gender

January 18, 2016 / No Comments

this post was triggered by three posts (tw: violence) posted recently by @nonbinary-support arguing against the use of aporagender, which has in turn triggered even more posts about race and gender.

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Vesper H.

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Q&A

Q&A: “You don’t think allosexual privilege exists?”

January 15, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: So from what I gathered in your latest responses. You don’t think allosexual privilege exists, but do you think allosexism exists? A lot of what Amber says about the word allosexual also applies to monosexual like grouping people with their oppressors, some gay people being okay w/ the word but not everyone being fine w/ it, ignoring the fact that a lot of gay people hate the word monosexual, “monosexual privilege.” There r so many posts like the 1 blvkandasexual posted except about monosexuals & bisexuals. Would u consider posts like that homobphobic? Amber’s response seems to argue against the use of the word allosexual on some level, but I thought you were okay with the word? That entire thread and everyone’s responses to it (including yours tbh) makes it seem like the word allosexual is inherently homophobic, biphobic, panphobic, etc. like what??? Can you clarify your stance.…

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Vesper H.

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“the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”
April 5, 2018

Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016
Q&A

Q&A not Q&A: “could that monosexual/allosexual argument be compared to colorism?”

January 13, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: im whiteish so i dont feel comfortable speaking on this as if i know it personally but could i ask you… could that monosexual/allosexual argument be compared to colorism? like for example a lighter/paler person of X race is going to be oppressed on basis of race, but that doesnt stop them from being able to oppress a darker person of the same race. or lateral oppression between races, like if a black person and an east asian person call each other racial slurs it’s not like thats NOT racism… (in reference to this post) going to avoid discussing who has the potential to oppress who and all discussion of oppression in general that may lead to an Oppression Olympics, but… colorism is most certainly a thing, especially in the black community which is really the only community that i can speak personally of. imho, the trend of saying…

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Vesper H.

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“the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”
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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016
Q&A

Q&A not Q&A: “Asexual doesn’t mean “lack”, it’s not a *lack* of sexual interest, it’s just *little to no* sexual interest…”

January 13, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Asexual doesn’t mean “lack”, it’s not a *lack* of sexual interest, it’s just *little to no* sexual interest. It’s not missing, it’s just insignificant to the person who identifies as asexual. Asexuals aren’t broken. Asexuals aren’t missing parts. Asexuals can have sex lives, and still not have sexual attracted to anyone. (in response to this post) there are multiple things in this ask that i’d like to point out, so i’m going to use bullet points for the sake of clarity and ease. the whole point of that post was to say that there is more than one valid definition of what it means to be asexual. among those valid definitions is asexuality being a lack of sexual attraction. another valid definition is asexuality being little to no sexual attraction. some people in the asexual community do define asexuality in relation to sexual interest or desire. this is…

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Vesper H.

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“the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”
April 5, 2018

Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016
Q&A

Q&A: “can i use asexual as an umbrella term?”

January 4, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: can i use asexual as an umbrella term? i identify with more than one (a)sexualites (cupio/demi/grey) so i think it’s a lot easier to just say im asexual sure, go with whatever feels comfortable and right for you, be it asexual, ace, ace spectrum, etc. some will disagree with me on this, but people use asexual as an umbrella word to mean various things all the time. i’m not an authority on the word asexual and i am not about to police others’ usage of the word.

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Vesper H.

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“the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”
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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016
[A]sexuality, Black[ness], Queer[ness], YouTube[r]

an example of intersectional acephobia if ever there was one…

December 16, 2015 / No Comments

“…seriously??” i thought to myself upon getting this notification via the YouTube app, in my email inbox and then on the YouTube homepage. i was just going to ignore it and move on, but after seeing the same notification for a third time i decided to look further… …i was prepared for things to get worse, but not this worse. the above is only a sample of the bullshit that can be found on this guy’s YouTube channel. dare i even subject myself to watching any of the videos, let alone the video in question? as always, curiosity killed the cat… ……..so this guy was pointed in my direction by someone who has obviously watched several of my videos (ie. by someone who cannot not know that i am non-binary) but who is still misgendering me and who for some reason felt the need to disclose personal information about me, my mental health…

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016
Q&A

Q&A: “Can nonbinary lesbians be monosexist?”

December 7, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: Can nonbinary lesbians be monosexist? I’m bisexual and I used the term monosexual during a conversation with someone I’ve been seeing and they were not happy about it. They identify as genderqueer and a lesbian and said that the term monosexual limits who can identify as a lesbian and ignores nonbinary folk. I don’t feel like they were being monosexist but were they? I feel the term is useful but they had very valid points. monosexism, in short, is the belief that monosexualities (ie. heterosexuality and homosexuality) are the only “true” or “legit” sexualities. e.g. the belief that non-monosexuals (bisexuals, pansexuals, polysexuals etc) are “really just either straight or gay.” literally anyone of any sexuality or gender could hold such beliefs, so literally anyone could potentially be monosexist. however, your friend taking issue with the term monosexual (as some people do for various reasons) and saying that it limits who can…

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Vesper H.

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“the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”
April 5, 2018

Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016
Q&A

Q&A: “do you think there’s something about sex positivity that oppresses aces of color?”

November 7, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: So I’m ace, and I’ve started questioning where I stand on the whole “sex positive/negative” thing. I’ve generally been really sex positive because I believe people should do what they want as long as it’s consensual. So I replied to another ace who was telling college freshmen to “chill” about having sex so soon by telling them that it’s not really their business. And eventually it escalated to them calling me a racist for being sex positive and they didn’t really explain why? They said something about me silencing and erasing people and pressing my white views onto others, but they didn’t give any explanation for all that. I want to learn more, but I feel like if I ask them, they won’t explain anything and they’ll just keep insulting me. So, feel free to not to answer this if it seems like I’m barging in here and…

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016

“the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”
April 5, 2018
Q&A

Q&A: “What are your thoughts on “passing” in the queer community?”

October 27, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: What are your thoughts on “passing” in the queer community? Mostly in terms of being mistaken for a heterosexual couple and if this actually gives people privileges that people in non-heterosexual seeming queer relationships don’t have. sorry for taking so long to reply, anon! it’s been one hellava week…. i’ve said this before in reference to other “het-blahblahblah privilege” arguments that people make, but i’ll say it again because it equally applies to this. having one’s identity erased by society due to heteronormativity is not a privilege. i will shout this from the rooftops until the end of time. society literally assumes that e v e r y o n e is straight until “proven otherwise”, i don’t care if that person is a lesbian, gay, asexual or anything else. and yet, for some odd reason *cough*biphobia*cough* i don’t see people making the argument that a lesbian, for example, accesses “straight…

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016

“the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”
April 5, 2018