asks Archives | Page 29 of 33 | Queer As Cat

Q&A

Q&A: “Aren’t gays and lesbians inherently transphobic…?”

October 12, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: Aren’t gays and lesbians inherently transphobic because they reinforce genitalia=gender by only having sex with people as the same genitals as their own? …………..i’m going to respond to this in the format of a list because after sitting on this ask for nearly a day i have decided that that is the best way to keep this response from turning into a rant. when a person (regardless of their sexuality) is attracted to someone else they are attracted to that person’s character, to their self-expression, to their smile, to their identity, to their voice, to who they are as a person. people do not use x-ray vision to look through a person’s clothing to see what genitalia they have and decide whether they find that genitalia attractive or not. why are you equating same-gender attraction with same-genitalia attraction? there actually are people of every orientation who find…

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Vesper H.

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Gender[queer], Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “So if male-ish-ness is usually called masculinity, and female-ish-ness is usually called femininity…”

October 11, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: So if male-ish-ness is usually called masculinity, and female-ish-ness is usually called femininity, would maverique-ish-ness be… maveriquinity? lol i love this line of thought! maveriquinity…. that is quite the word. /mav(ə)ˈrēkɪnɪti/ i like it, although i’m sure some people will find it difficult to pronounce.

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Vesper H.

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November 7, 2015
Q&A

Q&A: “what does it mean to identify as just queer?”

October 11, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: what does it mean to identify as just queer? I’m new to the LGBT+ community and I’d like to know as much as possible (: hi anon! sorry for taking so long to get back to you. identifying as queer means different things to different people. like seriously, you could ask 10 people who identify as queer what it means to them and you will get 10 different answers. generally speaking, queer is sometimes used as a catch-all, open-ended, (intentionally) ambiguous identity or word to describe not being heteronormative, amatonormative, gender normative and/or sexnormative. some people identify as queer because it’s simpler than going into detail about their identity because often identity is really complex and intersectional. some people identify as queer out of solidarity or with the intent of reclaiming the word. there really are an infinite number of reasons why someone might identify as queer…

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I have decide to come out as asexual today…”

October 4, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: I have decide to come out as asexual today and I don´t know how I feel about it, but I am kinda happy and somewhat relieve and wanted to tell you in this site first because you were my first contact with asexuality and thank to you I have learn so many things. Thank you for your channel, for your blog and your kindness with us anon that came with our questions. Is really reasurring know there is a person like you. So, yeah. Ace pride! !!!!!!! good luck, anon!!! i sincerely hope that it goes well for you! and wow, i’m incredibly honored to be the first person you told. thank you, anon, and thank you for the incredibly kind words as well. it really is an honor to be able to help you and anyone else in any way. <3 w00t!! ace pride, indeed!!

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016
Q&A

Q&A: “I wonder if we can use ‘pan’ for not only sexual attraction than why not the rest of them…”

October 2, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: You know I wonder if I could identify as bi or pan. Because I am certainly asexual and wtfro/aro but my sensual, aesthetic and platonic orientations are pan I think? And if we can use that for not only sexual attraction than why not the rest of them. there are people who use prefixes like bi-, pan-, homo-, hetero- etc to describe the other types of attraction that you mentioned. for example, pan(-)aesthetic, bi(-)sensual, homo(-)platonic etc. these words aren’t common, but i’ve definitely seen them in use, primarily within the ace and aro communities on AVEN and Tumblr.

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Vesper H.

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“the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”
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Q&A

Q&A not Q&A: ” I don’t really think zedsexual is the way to go. It is not only etymologically nonsensical, but sounds like something tumblr would make up…”

October 2, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: As an asexual person, I don’t really think zedsexual is the way to go. It is not only etymologically nonsensical, but sounds “like something tumblr would make up” to the outside observers. This is just something else that will make people not take us seriously. Isn’t there another way? Maybe, some positive prefix? I know in other languages there is such thing but I’m not sure about English. anon, while i personally don’t care for z/zedsexual either, i also don’t care for people criticizing a word because it sounds “like something tumblr would make up.” as if a word being coined on Tumblr automatically delegitimizes or discredits it. as if i or anyone else should avoid a word just because other people assume the word is somehow connected to Tumblr and that that is automatically a bad thing. anon, i realize that you yourself probably do not…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A

Q&A: “so I noticed that in your Tumblr blog description it says that you put an emphasis on aro issues…”

September 27, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: so I noticed that in your [Tumblr] blog description it says that you put an emphasis on aro issues, but don’t ID as aro yourself? I was wondering why that is? Like did you previously ID as aro, or is aromanticism important to you for other reasons? Sorry if this comes off as rude, or you’ve answered this before, I’m just curious because I don’t see many non-aro people advocating aromanticism and I haven’t seen an explanation for it looking through your aro tag you’ve caught me! i literally just added that to the blog description a week or two ago? i can’t believe someone noticed lmao. despite aro being added to the blog’s description fairly recently, i’ve been reblogging and making aromantic inclusive and/or specific posts for around 2 years now…? admitted much more this past year than previously. why? good question. prior to ~2 weeks…

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
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“the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”
April 5, 2018
Q&A

Q&A: “do you think it’s ‘correct’ for hetero ace/aros to call themselves queer?”

September 25, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hello, just asking cause I’m not entirely sure and I value your opinion… do you think it’s ‘correct’ for hetero ace/aros to call themselves queer. And I mean, is that something that should be allowed to be done without getting furiously shamed by other members of LGBT+ Because I’ve seen a lot of them get flack for using that term for themselves and now I’m not sure if it’s okay. I originally thought it was but… yeah. Thanks. ….ahhh, The Debate. which shouldn’t even really be the debate that it is in the first place, imho. i generally prefer to stay out of The Debate because i feel like The Debate itself is an example of identity policing, most often on the part of people who do not believe that heteroromantic aces or aro heterosexuals are a part of the LGBTQIA community to begin with (and i…

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
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“the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”
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Q&A

Q&A not Q&A: “a person told me that I was “stealing other experiences” and “hurting other people that felt that way…”

September 24, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: I have used the label neutrois for a a time now, but now I am using demiguy. I add that people could consider me a trans man now. I announce this decision on a group in facebook and a person told me that I was “stealing other experiences” and “hurting other people that felt that way” I said I was experimenting with label until I can find the one that “stick” and they think is a whim. not only is that person trying to invalidate your identity, they also seem to be trying to guilt trip you by suggesting that you are somehow hurting other people. gender/identity police and would-be gatekeepers are such asshats, i swear. i’m sorry that you’re dealing with a person (or even people) like this. for one, you are not “stealing” anything. no one owns nor has a monopoly on what it means to…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A

Q&A: “I’m about a 2 on the Kinsey scale. Am I bi?”

September 24, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi, so I’m about a 2 on the Kinsey scale. Am I bi? Do I still have the right to call myself bi? I don’t know I feel like I’m not bi enough there is no such thing as being “not bi enough”. the only thing that determines your identity is how you yourself identify. this is but one of the many reasons why i despise the Kinsey Scale, actually. it implies that there is some kind of sliding scale of “straightness”, “gayness” or “biness”, which is utter bullshit. no one need fulfill some arbitrary minimal requirement of “biness” or order to identity as bi. nor does anyone need to have some arbitrary minimal amount of experience with more than one gender in order to identify as bi. no one need prove nor justify their bi identity to anyone. that includes struggling to justify it to yourself, imho. if you feel like…

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Vesper H.

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