Q&A: “I think I may be asexual. I romanticize the idea of being with a male partner later, but then I’m a maladaptive dreamer…”
anonymous said: So I have a question. I think I may be asexual. I romanticize the idea of being with a male partner later, but then I’m a maladaptive dreamer. I have issues with trusting people, men specifically. I don’t have any sexual attraction to men, I occasionally get crushes, which are romantic in nature, but never sexual. I do masturbate, but more like a release than actual arousal, Infact I don’t even get aroused that much. Couple moths back I kissed a guy on impulse and it disgusted me. Please help. [ cw: masturbation, arousal mentions ] hello, anon. sorry for taking so long to respond to your ask. i don’t know how much help i’ll be as i can’t tell you whether you’re asexual or not (that’s something you’ll ultimately have to decide for yourself), but… someone asked me how to know whether they’re ace or not awhile…
Q&A: “Is it possible to be asexual but have sexual preferences?”
anonymous said: Is it possible to be asexual but have sexual preferences? Like being sexually aroused by only male or female bodies, but never experiencing sexually attraction to anyone in real life? anyone can have preferences, be they sexual or otherwise. this includes asexuals. however, i’m not sure that who/what arouses someone would be considered sexual preference? after all, who/what arouses someone is beyond one’s control– arousal is a physiological thing that just happens, without any conscious effort or thought? where as a preference involves consciousness/thought….? i’m probably making no sense and complicating what should be a simple question and answer. sorry. :/ imho, the simple answer is “yes.” regarding not ever experiencing sexual attraction to someone in real life, you might be interested in looking into autochorissexual / aegosexual.
Q&A: “How can I tell the difference between libido and sexual attraction?”
anonymous said: So, I have identified as a panromantic asexual for a while now, but I just entered my first romantic relationship and am beginning to question this. We make out sometimes, and I get aroused. How can I tell the difference between libido and sexual attraction? He’s the only one I would want to have sex with, but is this sexual attraction or just loyalty to my partner? hello, anon! sorry for taking so long to respond to your ask! i can’t tell you whether what you’re experiencing is one thing or another. ultimately, only you can decide that. i can say, however, that becoming aroused can and does happen to anyone, regardless of what their sexual orientation is. it’s simply a physiological reaction to stimuli which has no bearing on one’s sexual orientation. also, i personally do not consider arousal to be the same thing as libido/sex…
