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Queer As Cat

gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

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  • Home
  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

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  • Q&A

    Q&A: “What is the best way to help myself figure out [whether I’m bi or pan]?”

    June 7, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: So I can’t tell if I am closer to pan or bi because I live in an area where most people are male or female. What is the best way to help myself figure that out?   listen to your heart and go with whichever word you feel describes you. you don’t have to have experience with a person of every gender to identify as one or the other. just go with what feels right based on how you feel now and in the future, if it turns out that another word describes you better, than you can switch to using that word if you so choose. just checking, but do you know that both may describe you? because there is overlap between the two. [+bonus reading]

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “Im a lesbian and i am not attracted to penises at all. the girl im dating is trans and…”

    June 7, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Im a lesbian and i am not attracted to penises at all,the girl im dating is trans shes really great and im attracted to her but im unsure if i would enjoy having sex with her and i do not want her to be offened for not being attracted to her genitals   hello, anon. you don’t seem to be asking a question in this ask, so i’m unsure what kind of response you’re looking for. that said, there seems to be something that you haven’t considered (or at least haven’t mentioned here) that i’d like to point out. while it’s good that you’re concerned about how your lack of attraction* to certain genitalia could be offensive to your girlfriend, you don’t seem to have considered her feelings beyond that? that she may not be comfortable having sex with you to begin with for various reasons. the topic…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “How can I tell the difference between libido and sexual attraction?”

    June 1, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: So, I have identified as a panromantic asexual for a while now, but I just entered my first romantic relationship and am beginning to question this. We make out sometimes, and I get aroused. How can I tell the difference between libido and sexual attraction? He’s the only one I would want to have sex with, but is this sexual attraction or just loyalty to my partner?   hello, anon! sorry for taking so long to respond to your ask! i can’t tell you whether what you’re experiencing is one thing or another. ultimately, only you can decide that. i can say, however, that becoming aroused can and does happen to anyone, regardless of what their sexual orientation is. it’s simply a physiological reaction to stimuli which has no bearing on one’s sexual orientation. also, i personally do not consider arousal to be the same thing as libido/sex…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “How long have you been living in Japan? And whats the hardest…?”

    May 16, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: How long have you been living in Japan? And whats the hardest cultural difference to get used to?   4 ½ years. there was a lot of culture shock and lessons learned in the earlier years, but at this point…  i’d say the biggest thing that i continue to struggle with is work etiquette and social norms. regardless of where you live, there are a lot of things in life and in the work place that tend to go unsaid because people just know about these things. they’re social norms in your culture. well, when you work/live in a foreign country the locals sometimes forget that hey, your culture is different! they shouldn’t necessarily assume that you know or are comfortable with certain things! and that certain things that you do because it’s acceptable and “normal” in your culture is less acceptable or polite in their eyes, but hey! you might…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • Feedback

    Feedback: “I’ve identified with Asexuality for about a month now and I’ve found your blog & channel really helpful…”

    May 14, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: This isn’t a question, but I just wanted to say that I’ve identified with Asexuality for about a month now and I’ve found your blog (and youtube channel in particular) really helpful in coming to terms with my own identity. I am also genderqueer and so can relate to a lot of the issues that you cover in your videos, both from a gender identity and a sexuality perspective and it’s really comforting to know that there is someone else who is a little like me. So a huge thank you for sharing 🙂   thank you for watching and for being so kind as to write to me. appreciate it! and i’m honored to have helped you in any way. it’s comforting for me as well to know that there are others out there dealing with the same or similar issues that i am. wishing you all…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “Before I identified as a woman and a lesbian. But now…”

    April 29, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hi is me again! i’m so confused about me right now. Before I identified as a woman and a lesbian. But now I’m getting very masculine, I do not care if someone calls me by male pronouns, and it looks like I’m starting to like men too. The bad thing is that there was already out of the closet to my parents. (I just like mans when i feel like a man, and i like girls when i feel like girls)   thanks for sending your ask again, i’m sorry that i accidentally deleted it the first time! some people find that their sexuality and/or gender changes with time, the situation, etc. this is called gender/sexual fluidity and it’s totally natural and not uncommon at all, it just doesn’t get recognized or talked about enough. as a person who does not experience gender or sexual fluidity, i won’t…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Feedback

    Feedback: ” I’m autistic and dyslexic so I couldn’t understand a word of [maverique’s definition]…”

    April 29, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: The mavrique coined term. You wanted feedback. I’m autistic and dyslexic so I couldn’t understand a word of it úvù” I’m sure people with different/no disabilities have an easier time though   thank you for the feedback. i assume you’re talking about the definition of maverique… i’m sorry that it’s difficult/impossible for you to understand. i’m still trying to figure out a clearer way of explaining/defining it so that it’s easier for everyone to understand, but feedback like this helps. thank you again. 🙂  

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Feedback

    Feedback: “I just want to tell that i’m really thankful of the romantic orientations video.”

    April 26, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hi! I just want to tell that i’m really thankful of the romantic orientations video. I’ve been thinking about my sexuality, “i’m straight but kinda bi but still not that bi”. Now i’ve realised i’m biromantic heterosexual&just wanted to say thanks 🙂 .   (re: this video) thank you for watching and taking the time to contact me! i really appreciate it and i’m glad that the video was of help to you. 🙂

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A: ” I really identify with the term ‘maverique’, but I’m a little worried about being taken seriously…”

    April 25, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hi! I really identify with the term ‘maverique’ and am so glad to have found it, but I’m a little worried about being taken seriously with it. It’s new and I know several gender identities are often mocked by others in the community, and certainly in society in general. ‘Maverique’ fits me so well, yet I’m still wary of using it, especially considering I plan on coming out to family soon. Should I just stick to the ‘non-binary’ umbrella for simplicity’s sake or stand by my conviction??   hello. 🙂 i’m afraid i can’t really give you an answer to your question, anon. coming out is an extremely personal decision. just as you are the only one who can decide whether to come out or not, you are the only one who can decide who you come out (or don’t come out) to and what you come out…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “what is romantic attraction vs sensual?”

    April 14, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: i haven’t heard of sensual attraction until recently but i’m having a hard time separating it from romantic attraction? like what //is// romantic attraction vs sensual? sorry if this is a really basic question!   not a “really basic question” at all! honestly, the world at large doesn’t even distinguish between different types of attraction, they’re all considered to be part of the same thing. it’s the asexual and aromantic communities that started dissecting attraction into different categories and it can be very confusing at times. within ace and aro communities, attraction is commonly broken up into 5 categories: platonic, aesthetic, sensual, romantic and sexual attraction. see these posts to find out the basics on all of them: [ 1 ] + [ 2 ]

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
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VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

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Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

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