i know i’ve mostly been M.I.A. this Asexual Awareness Week, but @buzzfeedlgbt made a really nice video for their Facebook page in celebration of AAW that i was lucky enough to be a part of. check it out, if you haven’t already. browse the comments that people have left at your own risk, however. a huge thank you to Sarah at BuzzFeed LGBT for putting this together and to whoever may have pointed her in my direction. 🙂
anonymous said: (suicide ideation, death threat and conversion tw) i found an old post about a poc ace and went on their blog and they know say they don’t identify as ace because aces are bad, basically. and like, i’m literally crying. idk what to do, that just really struck me. someone who wrote about being queer, ace and a poc like me shitting on me and telling me my identity is inherently problematic when it’s the reason i can’t access mental health atm, which is something i need cause the ‘discourse’ & the violent abuse i faced on this website for, including death threats, caused me to fall back into suicidal ideation. and the only therapist available to me suggested conversion therapy (i live in a small central american country, there’s not much knowledge about these things- she thinks if i can be converted to straight, i will no…
anonymous said: when I go on the aesthetic tumblrs of allo/zedsexual people, I see SO much hatred for ANY terms more complex than “pan” or “gay”. these people – who are themselves trans and/or some kind of not straight – claim that ppl who use complex labels are confused and need to just use the simple terms that exist. I know, they’re wrong, but I see it so much from people I admire and it makes me feel alone. There aren’t many aesthetic blogs I can follow that aren’t like this, and I mainly aes blog so it’s something I can’t get away from. mutuals of my mutuals call themselves aphobes in their about pages…I know some ace ppl have done annoying things but I feel so alone. I felt so much joy when I could say I was pansensual but asexual and my life made so much more sense.…
anonymous said: I’m just here to vent. I’m a closeted ace and just now in a small class w people I like made fun of asexuality and it wasn’t especially rude or mean but it still shocked me somehow… I’m still shaking. Maybe cause it’s sich a deep secret of mine oh anon, i’m sorry you were subjected to that. i think many people who read this will be able to relate to how you feel because we’ve be in similar situations and needless to say, it can really hurt. wishing you a wonderful rest of the day to help drown out that horrible part of your day. perhaps taken in some of the awesome ace positivity going around Tumblr at the moment in celebration of Asexual Awareness Week if that’ll help take your mind off it at all. <3
anonymous said: It really annoys me when bi and trans allies state that acephobia is “just” recycled biphobia/transphobia/whatever. I appreciate the attempted support, because, by all means, let’s compare notes (otherwise, what’s the point?). But it bothers me nonetheless when the hatred specifically aimed at us is described as nothing but misdirected run-off from other groups. I want acephobia to be taken seriously in its own right, not just as a form of accidental collateral damage. Your thoughts? i totally understand where you’re coming from and can relate to feeling miffed at times when seeing some people compare “ace discourse” to past “discourse” involving bi people, trans people, etc. sometimes it’s done well and other times it’s…. yeah. before i say anything else, i have to admit that i myself also compare the current rendition of “ace discourse” and general acephobia on Tumblr to past (and present) “bi discourse” and biphobia…
anonymous said: Hey vesper i need some advice, whenever I bring up that I’m ace I have a friend who talks about how much harder they’re life is then asexuals bc they’re bisexual. They say asexuals are only oppressed bc they can’t have a significant other bc they don’t want sex. I’ve told them I’m insecure in being ace & they tell me I shouldn’t be bc nobody cares about asexuals. I feel like a horrible person & that it was inconsiderate & ignorant to come out as ace idk what to do or even how to feel anymore hi anon, your “friend” is the one who’s ignorant and inconsiderate, anon, not you. it’s ridiculous that they feel justified in casting aside your feelings at all, let alone based on assumptions about your life as if they even know anything about it. not only that, they’re also ignoring the fact…
ah, i had the most amusing day today, getting notifications on my phone for the comments left on this video. i’m not even pissed off anymore, it’s now become hilarious. people are saying that 4chan is behind the spam / hate attack on the #ProudToBe spotlight / hashtag and somehow that just makes it even more hilarious to me. i’m so amused that i felt like screencapping some of the 66 comments i’ve gotten on the video so far. trigger warning for pretty much any and everything. please respect your triggers. don’t read any further if you aren’t in a place where you can laugh at all this hate with me. me: *every time i got a notification on my phone today* this is when my apathy-fortified wall of No Fucks Given seems like a really awesome coping mechanism because it allows me to brush off / laugh off otherwise…
anonymous said: Have you seen that post going around saying the being asexual is a modifier not an orientation? It also seemed to imply that asexuality is a choice? I’m really tired of misinformation about asexuals being spread around. …mmm, no i have not seen the post in question, but a quick search has brought up this post (warning: offensive ignorance is offensive) that i’m guessing might be the one you’re referring to…? was posted about 20hrs ago (i received this ask 4hrs ago) and yet has somehow already amassed 200 notes without a single critic of its content in sight. the spreading of misinformation (maliciously or not) is annoying indeed. that said, i just so happen to be Apathetic As Hell about what others think and am very confident and comfortable in my identity as an asexual, so it’s pretty easy for me to not give a damn about…
“…seriously??” i thought to myself upon getting this notification via the YouTube app, in my email inbox and then on the YouTube homepage. i was just going to ignore it and move on, but after seeing the same notification for a third time i decided to look further… …i was prepared for things to get worse, but not this worse. the above is only a sample of the bullshit that can be found on this guy’s YouTube channel. dare i even subject myself to watching any of the videos, let alone the video in question? as always, curiosity killed the cat… ……..so this guy was pointed in my direction by someone who has obviously watched several of my videos (ie. by someone who cannot not know that i am non-binary) but who is still misgendering me and who for some reason felt the need to disclose personal information about me, my mental health…
had ignored this user’s original comment on my “QAC 36 – What Acephobia & Asexual Erasure Looks Like” video for weeks but couldn’t let it go uncommented on any longer after waking up to their most recent comment. i’m sick with a cold and unable to even think clearly, so it’s likely that i flew off the handle or said something in a way that could have been said better, but i tried. really am too sick and tired and anxious in general to deal with shit like this…. and while i obviously made no effort to hide the names of the users who commented (i mean, the comments are public and easily findable on the video anyway), i’m not posting this here for anyone to attack the commenter. please don’t, although you’re free to join in on the convo if you want. i’m 100% done with it. …now to take…
