• QAC on YouTube
  • QAC on Tumblr
Queer As Cat

gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

  • Home
  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact
  • Home
  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

Subscribe via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to the QAC blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. :)

Twitter

My Tweets

Instagram

No images found!
Try some other hashtag or username
  • Feedback,  Q&A

    Q&A: “I was wondering if you’re ok with people calling you “doll”, “darling” or “sweetheart”?”

    October 21, 2016 /

    anonymous said: Hii, I really love your videos(: I’m so glad I found your channel, it really helped me come to terms with my romantic orientation(aromantic) & I was wondering if you’re ok with people calling you “doll”, “darling” or “sweetheart”? Some people think it’s gender specific, like for females. I personally don’t think so, but I wanna know what you think(: hi, anon. thanks for watching my videos and for the kind message. i really appreciate it. 🙂 generally speaking, i think that there’s a lot that goes into how any person feels about being referred to by any given “pet name” (term of endearment). as you’ve noted, a term can feel gender neutral to you while at the same time feeling gendered to someone else. neither person is necessarily right or wrong, of course. as i said, a lot– everything from culture to dialect, past experiences to historical…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

    You May Also Like

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Feedback,  Q&A

    Feedback: “From the coming out anon: Thank you for the advice…”

    October 17, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: From the coming out anon: Thank you for the advice, Vesper, I really do appreciate it. I think I might try doing just that the next time it comes up. Thank you for the help. 🙂 ( re: this post ) no problem, anon. wishing you the best in general, but even more so if / when you do come out to your friend. 🙂

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

    You May Also Like

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Feedback,  Q&A

    Feedback: “…thanks for the advice….”

    October 17, 2016 / No Comments

    Kat said: I came out to her she accepted it and she didn’t go thro with the blind date thank you she said I might be aro tho also thanks for the advice keep up the good blog -Kat ( re: this post & this post ) so glad to hear that things went well for you, Kat. thanks for coming back to let me know and i wish you all the best in the future. p.s. don’t worry about what she thinks about you being aro. what you think is the only thing that matters.

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

    You May Also Like

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  Feedback,  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness]

    Feedback: “I saw your video about confusing gender attraction with gender envy/admiration and as newly realised asexual it really hit a chord with me…”

    October 15, 2016 /

    anonymous said: I saw your video about confusing gender attraction with gender envy/admiration and as newly realised asexual it really hit a chord with me… I think this is what I’ve been experiencing a lot, seeing people and wanting to be like they are because they’re so free or happy with how they express themselves, and calling it attraction like my friends call it attraction when they see a guy and want to do him, when it’s not the same at all. ( re: this post ) yeah, attraction is really complicated because there’s so much involved… sometimes even gender envy / admiration can be a involved when one experiences attraction, but yeah. it’s also a thing in and of itself that may not be related to attraction at all. thanks for sharing your experiences, anon. 🙂

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

    You May Also Like

    Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2016 musings

    May 15, 2016

    romantic orientation pride

    May 29, 2013

    QAC 13 – Staying In The Closet

    August 11, 2013
  • Feedback,  Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Feedback: “I really want to thank you for introducing me to the term “maverique” because…”

    October 14, 2016 /

    anonymous said: I really want to thank you for introducing me to the term “maverique” because I think I’ve found something that describes me in a way. I’ve always felt like I wasn’t a boy or a girl, and that I was simply just myself. A person. So now I’m glad to have found a term that describes that. ;v; Thank you so much. being maverique, someone with a distinct gender that is independent from both male and female gender can be tough! everyone regardless of gender is just being themself, a person, but when you don’t even have a word to conceptualize your gender with because everything else is tied to male and / or female…. yeah. glad you found a word that works for you, anon. 🙂

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

    You May Also Like

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  Feedback,  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness]

    Feedback: “Your video on gender envy/admiration really spoke to me.”

    October 14, 2016 /

    anonymous said: Your video on gender envy/admiration really spoke to me. When I figured out my aroace identity and my predominate aesthetic attraction to femme people I didn’t quite understand how I had convinced myself I was straight for so long. I feel like later after I realized I was masc non binary it explained more of my assumed attraction to masc people as being more along the lines of “i want to be like them”. ( re: this post ) ah, i can relate to the “convinced myself i was straight for so long” thing. i very much feel like gender envy / admiration (among other things) played a part in me falling for the whole “straight by default” (among other) shit that society fed me from Day 1 and that i likely would have broken free of that sooner had i recognized gender envy / admiration for what it…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

    You May Also Like

    パレードの皆さん、お疲れ

    April 26, 2015

    QAC 13 – Staying In The Closet

    August 11, 2013

    QAC 37 – Forced Out of the Closet: 1.5 Years Later (Non-Binary Asexual)

    June 16, 2015
  • [A]sexuality,  Feedback,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Feedback: “your video on attraction & gender envy was rly interesting!”

    October 13, 2016 /

    anonymous said: your video on attraction & gender envy was rly interesting! Im also ace and nb and i think about it a lot about lately. I struggle to separate my looks-based/aesthetic attraction for masc ppl from dysphoria based envy and I thought it was just me! ( re: this post ) with 30+ people and counting on YouTube and many more elsewhere commenting that they’ve also had similar experiences, it looks like neither of us was as alone in our experiences as we’d thought. 🙂

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

    You May Also Like

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    tfw TERFs.

    March 1, 2017

    QAC 11 – Growing Up Ace (Asexual)

    July 21, 2013
  • Feedback

    Feedback: “I’m so glad you posted your experience about being a black, nonbinary person who’s…”

    October 4, 2016 /

    nocombatjustwombats said: I’m so glad you posted your experience about being a black, nonbinary person who’s dealt with trauma online. All of today I’ve been feeling alone and misunderstood, and your post made me feel great. Thanks so much for putting yourself out there for kids like me. ?❤?   …and reading this ask has made my night. thank you. this means a lot coming from you. <3

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

    You May Also Like

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Feedback

    Feedback: “Why are you so cool?”

    September 29, 2016 /

    anonymous said: Why are you so cool? *looks around slowly* ………………….who? me?? but thank you, anon. <3

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

    You May Also Like

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Feedback,  Q&A

    Q&A not Q&A: “i’m nonbinary and i’m also aro/ace. i no longer WANT to be part of [the LGBT] community…”

    September 15, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: okay sorry for dragging this in here, but. i’m nonbinary. and ppl have been saying that nb ppl ARE lgbt+. but here’s the thing: i’m also aro/ace. i no longer WANT to be part of that community, even if i “qualify” bc at the end of the day, they still don’t want me there. they may be accepting of my identity as nb, but that would mean ignoring my identity as aro/ace. if i’m gonna be accepted somewhere, i want to be accepted for all of me, not just part. just my 2 cents. hello anon, i feel you on this. i really do. as a non-binary, bi / pan ace i’ve also been faced with people wanting to selectively choose what part of my “counts” or is “valid reason” for me to be included in something. like you, i am of the stance that acceptance of me is an…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

    You May Also Like

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
23456

VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

Subscribe

Stay up-to-date with notifications of new posts by email.

Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

Categories

Time Machine

Tags

ace anon aromantic asexual asexuality asks bi feedback gender gender identity genderqueer identity intersectionality intracommunity issues i rant when i'm tired japan LGBT lgbt in Japan LGBTQIA life in japan maverique me non-binary nonbinary in Japan opinion personal problematic things QPOC queer questioning random thoughts sexuality stuff i made terminology this has been a Vesper original this is my life tired Vesper is tired trans transgender vlog Xジェンダー youtube セクマイ 外人の目から見た日本 日本

Categories

Instagram

No images found!
Try some other hashtag or username

Follow QAC

© Queer As Cat 2013 - 2025