2015 | Page 6 of 14 | Queer As Cat

[Random] Thoughts, Queer[ness]

Yokohama Rainbow Festa 2015横浜レインボーフェスタ 2015

October 4, 2015 / No Comments

this is a long shot, but i ended up meeting someone at Tokyo Rainbow Pride through Tumblr earlier this year, so i might as well try again. Yokohama will be hosting its first major LGBT event, Yokohama Rainbow Festa 2015, this month. it won’t be anywhere near as big at TRP, but i know that at least one local shop will be selling ace-inclusive things and at the very least it should make for an interest day in Yokohama. i’m thinking about going on 10/31 (Sat) and making a halfassed video out of it… anyone else going???

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I wonder if we can use ‘pan’ for not only sexual attraction than why not the rest of them…”

October 2, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: You know I wonder if I could identify as bi or pan. Because I am certainly asexual and wtfro/aro but my sensual, aesthetic and platonic orientations are pan I think? And if we can use that for not only sexual attraction than why not the rest of them. there are people who use prefixes like bi-, pan-, homo-, hetero- etc to describe the other types of attraction that you mentioned. for example, pan(-)aesthetic, bi(-)sensual, homo(-)platonic etc. these words aren’t common, but i’ve definitely seen them in use, primarily within the ace and aro communities on AVEN and Tumblr.

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Vesper H.

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Q&A not Q&A: ” I don’t really think zedsexual is the way to go. It is not only etymologically nonsensical, but sounds like something tumblr would make up…”

October 2, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: As an asexual person, I don’t really think zedsexual is the way to go. It is not only etymologically nonsensical, but sounds “like something tumblr would make up” to the outside observers. This is just something else that will make people not take us seriously. Isn’t there another way? Maybe, some positive prefix? I know in other languages there is such thing but I’m not sure about English. anon, while i personally don’t care for z/zedsexual either, i also don’t care for people criticizing a word because it sounds “like something tumblr would make up.” as if a word being coined on Tumblr automatically delegitimizes or discredits it. as if i or anyone else should avoid a word just because other people assume the word is somehow connected to Tumblr and that that is automatically a bad thing. anon, i realize that you yourself probably do not…

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Vesper H.

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re: allosexual and zsexual

September 30, 2015 / No Comments

this is a great post that others ought to read and i just want to throw out my personal opinion on this topic so that it’s on this blog somewhere for future reference: i personally despise the word ‘sexual’ being used as a general catch-all for non-asexual people, largely because of what is said in the OP. when zsexual/zedsexual was first proposed i, like many, turned by back on the word allosexual because zsexual seemed like such a great idea to me at the time. that said, i personally no longer care for it for various reasons, the main two being that: i don’t like how the “A-to-Z” conceptualization positions asexuality and non-asexuality as two points on either end of a binary linear system. as a quasi-linguist and native English speaker myself, i don’t care for how English speakers are using the roman alphabet in such an arbitrary way. not everyone…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “so I noticed that in your Tumblr blog description it says that you put an emphasis on aro issues…”

September 27, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: so I noticed that in your [Tumblr] blog description it says that you put an emphasis on aro issues, but don’t ID as aro yourself? I was wondering why that is? Like did you previously ID as aro, or is aromanticism important to you for other reasons? Sorry if this comes off as rude, or you’ve answered this before, I’m just curious because I don’t see many non-aro people advocating aromanticism and I haven’t seen an explanation for it looking through your aro tag you’ve caught me! i literally just added that to the blog description a week or two ago? i can’t believe someone noticed lmao. despite aro being added to the blog’s description fairly recently, i’ve been reblogging and making aromantic inclusive and/or specific posts for around 2 years now…? admitted much more this past year than previously. why? good question. prior to ~2 weeks…

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Vesper H.

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cautious optimism: yet another conversation with mom

September 27, 2015 / No Comments

for those who don’t know, i stopped talking to my mom back in July. the situation with my mom evolved over a long period of time and i’ve talked about it twice on YouTube. [ 1 + 2 ] well, today i want to say extremely tentatively that it seems like some progress has been made in terms of restarting our relationship. i’m trying really, really hard not to be overly optimistic because if i’m wrong and things fall apart again, it will hurt all the more if i let my guard down and allow myself to be happy now. (tl;dr below) in recent weeks prior to today mom has made attempts at contacting me with such conversation starters as “help me understand.”, “what is it you want me to say?” and “i’m taking your sister to the ER so i thought i’d message you (ie: please talk to me).” aside…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “do you think it’s ‘correct’ for hetero ace/aros to call themselves queer?”

September 25, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hello, just asking cause I’m not entirely sure and I value your opinion… do you think it’s ‘correct’ for hetero ace/aros to call themselves queer. And I mean, is that something that should be allowed to be done without getting furiously shamed by other members of LGBT+ Because I’ve seen a lot of them get flack for using that term for themselves and now I’m not sure if it’s okay. I originally thought it was but… yeah. Thanks. ….ahhh, The Debate. which shouldn’t even really be the debate that it is in the first place, imho. i generally prefer to stay out of The Debate because i feel like The Debate itself is an example of identity policing, most often on the part of people who do not believe that heteroromantic aces or aro heterosexuals are a part of the LGBTQIA community to begin with (and i…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A not Q&A: “a person told me that I was “stealing other experiences” and “hurting other people that felt that way…”

September 24, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: I have used the label neutrois for a a time now, but now I am using demiguy. I add that people could consider me a trans man now. I announce this decision on a group in facebook and a person told me that I was “stealing other experiences” and “hurting other people that felt that way” I said I was experimenting with label until I can find the one that “stick” and they think is a whim. not only is that person trying to invalidate your identity, they also seem to be trying to guilt trip you by suggesting that you are somehow hurting other people. gender/identity police and would-be gatekeepers are such asshats, i swear. i’m sorry that you’re dealing with a person (or even people) like this. for one, you are not “stealing” anything. no one owns nor has a monopoly on what it means to…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I’m about a 2 on the Kinsey scale. Am I bi?”

September 24, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi, so I’m about a 2 on the Kinsey scale. Am I bi? Do I still have the right to call myself bi? I don’t know I feel like I’m not bi enough there is no such thing as being “not bi enough”. the only thing that determines your identity is how you yourself identify. this is but one of the many reasons why i despise the Kinsey Scale, actually. it implies that there is some kind of sliding scale of “straightness”, “gayness” or “biness”, which is utter bullshit. no one need fulfill some arbitrary minimal requirement of “biness” or order to identity as bi. nor does anyone need to have some arbitrary minimal amount of experience with more than one gender in order to identify as bi. no one need prove nor justify their bi identity to anyone. that includes struggling to justify it to yourself, imho. if you feel like…

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Vesper H.

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QAC 39 – Biromantic + Panromantic Pride! | Being Both Bi & Pan

September 23, 2015 / No Comments

happy Bi Visibility Day and Bi Awareness Week! 🙂 in this video i talk about what being biromantic and panromantic means to me, common questions i get about being bi and pan and why i identify as both rather than one or the other. i also talk about my journey to realizing my romantic orientation and how being black and being asexual played a part in that journey. ========= TIME POINTS ========= @00:00 – happy Bi Awareness Week & Bi Visibility Day! @00:39 – what is “biromantic” & “panromantic”? @01:20 – what being biro and panro means to me. @01:30 – FAQ: “but bi means two!!!“ @02:53 – FAQ: “but then how is bi different from pan???” @04:09 – FAQ: “but why do you identify as both bi & pan???“ @09:07 – coming out to myself at 27: race played a part in it. @10:56 – coming out to myself…

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Vesper H.

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