opinion Archives | Page 13 of 16 | Queer As Cat

Q&A

Q&A not Q&A: “could that monosexual/allosexual argument be compared to colorism?”

January 13, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: im whiteish so i dont feel comfortable speaking on this as if i know it personally but could i ask you… could that monosexual/allosexual argument be compared to colorism? like for example a lighter/paler person of X race is going to be oppressed on basis of race, but that doesnt stop them from being able to oppress a darker person of the same race. or lateral oppression between races, like if a black person and an east asian person call each other racial slurs it’s not like thats NOT racism… (in reference to this post) going to avoid discussing who has the potential to oppress who and all discussion of oppression in general that may lead to an Oppression Olympics, but… colorism is most certainly a thing, especially in the black community which is really the only community that i can speak personally of. imho, the trend of saying…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A not Q&A: “Asexual doesn’t mean “lack”, it’s not a *lack* of sexual interest, it’s just *little to no* sexual interest…”

January 13, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Asexual doesn’t mean “lack”, it’s not a *lack* of sexual interest, it’s just *little to no* sexual interest. It’s not missing, it’s just insignificant to the person who identifies as asexual. Asexuals aren’t broken. Asexuals aren’t missing parts. Asexuals can have sex lives, and still not have sexual attracted to anyone. (in response to this post) there are multiple things in this ask that i’d like to point out, so i’m going to use bullet points for the sake of clarity and ease. the whole point of that post was to say that there is more than one valid definition of what it means to be asexual. among those valid definitions is asexuality being a lack of sexual attraction. another valid definition is asexuality being little to no sexual attraction. some people in the asexual community do define asexuality in relation to sexual interest or desire. this is…

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Vesper H.

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February 23, 2016
Black[ness], Japan[ese], Q&A

Q&A: “What do you think about the treatment of black people specifically in Japan?

January 11, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi, I’m also a black agender person from the states. What do you think about the treatment of black people specifically in Japan? hmm…. i’m finding this question really hard to answer because it’s so…. vague? and open-ended? hmm… i could respond to this with a really long winded answer, but i’m tired and should be in bed, so i’ll give you an abbreviated one! while Japan in has internalized antiblackness issues just like anywhere else, i don’t think that Japan (as a whole) treats black people any specific way. there are people who fetishize or idolize black (specifically black American) culture / music / people… these people are really fucking annoying to run into, but for the most part people are respectful and curious in a healthy way. aside from the aforementioned fetishists, i’d say the most troublesome thing that a black person encounters in Japan that…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A

Q&A: “do you think you could help me explain why sexuality is not the same as having a “racial preference”…?”

January 9, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hey, do you think you could help me explain why sexuality is not the same as having a “racial preference” for who you date? Like I know they’re different but I can’t seem to explain it very well. Thanks!! hi anon! sorry for taking so long to reply. in my humble opinion, “sexuality” is a very broad term that is used to describe a wide variety of things, including preferences that a person may have with regards to gender, number of partners, types of relationships, hair color/type/location, race, and a million other things. racial preference is a thing that could be considered relevant to a person’s sexuality. that doesn’t mean it isn’t or can’t be racist to have such a preference. that said, i get the feeling that you’re looking to explain the difference between sexual orientation and racial preference rather than sexuality in general. that is a…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “can i use asexual as an umbrella term?”

January 4, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: can i use asexual as an umbrella term? i identify with more than one (a)sexualites (cupio/demi/grey) so i think it’s a lot easier to just say im asexual sure, go with whatever feels comfortable and right for you, be it asexual, ace, ace spectrum, etc. some will disagree with me on this, but people use asexual as an umbrella word to mean various things all the time. i’m not an authority on the word asexual and i am not about to police others’ usage of the word.

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Vesper H.

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Q&A not Q&A: “…the first definition of [aporagender] was literally “same as third gender but white people can use too”…”

December 14, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: Not trying to start an argument by any means, but I think the reason that person said aporagender (I’ve probably spelt that wrong) is racist, is because the first definition of it was literally “same as third gender but white people can use too” or something along those lines, which some see as racist, because something that’s the same as third gender, considering the terms history, shouldn’t be for white people. Sorry if this sounded argumentative thats not my aim at all ? having kept a watchful eye on the term aporagender pretty much since around the time of its coinage (because it was in fact coined around the exact same time that i coined maverique) i can safely say that i have never seen the word defined nor described in that way. as such, i am extremely skeptical that that is the reason why the anon is…

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Vesper H.

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February 23, 2016
Q&A

Q&A: “One of my cis male friends said he identifies as a lesbian.”

December 14, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: One of my cis male friends said he identifies as a lesbian. When I tried telling him that wasn’t okay, he said that I have to respect his identity and that anyone who identifies as a lesbian is a lesbian. He used nonbinary people as an example. He called me a gatekeeper. What can I do/say? Is he right? Can anyone id as a lesbian? Is it always bad to be a gatekeeper? …i find myself wanting to think that this friend of yours was just kidding, was just trying to pull your leg, was perhaps trying to put into words something about himself but upon failing at finding better words settling on those words– but perhaps i really am just grasping at straws and your friend really is just a cis binary male who identifies as a lesbian. i actually googled “male lesbian” just now and got a…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “Bisexism is the discriminating views of bisexuals against monosexuals…”

December 8, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: “Bisexism is the discriminating views of bisexuals against monosexuals. Bisexists believe that limiting oneself to only one gender or sex is forced and discriminative, and due to social conditioning rather than free thought. ” Thoughts? this is the first time i’ve ever heard of the term “bisexism”. my initial thoughts are: why is this even being called “bisexism”? is it because the coiner of this word thinks that only bi people could hold such views? is it because the coiner thinks that bi people are the only people attracted to more than one gender? is it just because the coiner happened to encounter people who were bi who held such views? seriously, why are bi people the ones being called out for this? as if others aren’t capable of holding the ignorant views that are being referred to as “bisexism”. if someone wants to argue for the word “multisexism” in response to…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “Can polysexual gay people be biphobic? Also can bi people be homophobic?”

December 7, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: Can polysexual gay people be biphobic? Also can bi people be homophobic? both biphobia and homophobia are a set of beliefs and actions based upon those beliefs. literally anyone of any sexuality (or gender) can hold such beliefs, so literally anyone could potentially be biphobic or homophobic, imho.

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “Can nonbinary lesbians be monosexist?”

December 7, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: Can nonbinary lesbians be monosexist? I’m bisexual and I used the term monosexual during a conversation with someone I’ve been seeing and they were not happy about it. They identify as genderqueer and a lesbian and said that the term monosexual limits who can identify as a lesbian and ignores nonbinary folk. I don’t feel like they were being monosexist but were they? I feel the term is useful but they had very valid points. monosexism, in short, is the belief that monosexualities (ie. heterosexuality and homosexuality) are the only “true” or “legit” sexualities. e.g. the belief that non-monosexuals (bisexuals, pansexuals, polysexuals etc) are “really just either straight or gay.” literally anyone of any sexuality or gender could hold such beliefs, so literally anyone could potentially be monosexist. however, your friend taking issue with the term monosexual (as some people do for various reasons) and saying that it limits who can…

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Vesper H.

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