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Feedback: “Your video on gender envy/admiration really spoke to me.”
anonymous said: Your video on gender envy/admiration really spoke to me. When I figured out my aroace identity and my predominate aesthetic attraction to femme people I didn’t quite understand how I had convinced myself I was straight for so long. I feel like later after I realized I was masc non binary it explained more of my assumed attraction to masc people as being more along the lines of “i want to be like them”. ( re: this post ) ah, i can relate to the “convinced myself i was straight for so long” thing. i very much feel like gender envy / admiration (among other things) played a part in me falling for the whole “straight by default” (among other) shit that society fed me from Day 1 and that i likely would have broken free of that sooner had i recognized gender envy / admiration for what it…
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Q&A not Q&A: “maybe anon has a problem with compulsory heterosexuality…”
anonymous said: maybe anon has a problem with compulsory heterosexuality / the fact that they were raised to be available to men? I have a similar problem – logically I don’t CARE if men find me attractive, and yet I can’t stop fretting over not being “acceptable” to them. I don’t have this problem with other people even though men are the group I’m actually least interested in. I hate this and I’m trying to let go of this feeling, but it’s hard. (re: this post) that thought occurred to me, but i didn’t want to make assumptions about anon’s gender or even their AGAB, so i erred on the side of giving general commentary with that ask. but yeah, internalized heteronormativity and compulsory heterosexuality is definitely a thing that many people struggle with and anon may also be struggling with. it’s social programming that can be extremely difficult to…
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Q&A: “What are your thoughts on “passing” in the queer community?”
anonymous said: What are your thoughts on “passing” in the queer community? Mostly in terms of being mistaken for a heterosexual couple and if this actually gives people privileges that people in non-heterosexual seeming queer relationships don’t have. sorry for taking so long to reply, anon! it’s been one hellava week…. i’ve said this before in reference to other “het-blahblahblah privilege” arguments that people make, but i’ll say it again because it equally applies to this. having one’s identity erased by society due to heteronormativity is not a privilege. i will shout this from the rooftops until the end of time. society literally assumes that e v e r y o n e is straight until “proven otherwise”, i don’t care if that person is a lesbian, gay, asexual or anything else. and yet, for some odd reason *cough*biphobia*cough* i don’t see people making the argument that a lesbian, for example, accesses “straight…
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”Daily ? UGHs”
random doodle about random things that i hear my students say to each other or that they say to me on any given day that make me go UGH. “SHE’s 30 and not married! lol” “you don’t have kids??” “don’t worry, you still have time! (to get married, have kids)” “lol T-chan もしかしてお前オカマ？！ (don’t tell me you’re a tranny!)” “sensei’s on OUR team!” “but you’re a girl!” “キモイ！ホモかよ？！ (eww! what are you, a homo?!)” “only girls would understand, right *given name*!” and the saddest, most frustrating part is that most of this is said by kids under 10 years old…
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a convo with 10yo students (100% unedited)
student K: sensei, do you have kids? me: ….??? NO. student K: why not? me: because i don’t. do your work. student K: sensei, you’re almost 30! you have to get married! me: …..why do you remember my age and why are /you/ telling me this??? student K: *cheeky grin* because everyone gets married and has kids by 30, of course! students H & D: *nod in agreement* me: ……… *face in hand*
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QAC 18 – Queer: More Than Sexuality & Gender Identity?
many people use the word “queer” to describe or label their identity in regards to their sexuality and/or their gender. it’s a word that references the heteronormativity within society and expresses the fact that one identifies as being outside of or beyond such normativity… but is the word queer strictly limited to that? i have a feeling that this topic may bring about very strong opinions in some people… please be gentle! i’m genuinely curious. …better late than never? ;(
