[A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

Q&A: “What’s the best way to tell him without ruining our relationship??”

anonymous said:

So I recently began flirting with a coworker as a joke, but then I thought maybe I was attracted to him. I invited him over and we talked and watched movies and then we started kissing and it was so nice and I felt so loved, but for the past week now I feel like I can’t even make eye contact with him bc I feel so awkward. I know I’m lithromantic, but I always hope that maybe I’m not whenever I’m attracted to someone. What’s the best way to tell him without ruining our relationship??

sorry for sitting on your ask for two months, anon. chances are that responding to it now won’t be of any use to you. on top of that, i’m also no good at giving relationship / communication advice, so apologies for that as well.

having said all that, i’m generally a fan of “be honest and if honesty fucks things up then maybe things wouldn’t have worked out regardless”…. which can be a bitter pill to swallow at times and probably shouldn’t be taken with a grain of salt anyway. i just feel like it’s one thing if your discomfort changes the nature of your relationship with this person for the sake of both of you being comfortable, but it’s another thing if you being honest about your discomfort in and of itself ruins the relationship all together…

as for the best way to do it, i’m generally a fan of nonchalantly dropping things into a conversation. like “….man this pizza is good! oh yeah, you remember that night we had pizza and kissed and shit? yeeaahhh…. it felt nice at the time, but umm… could we talk about that?”

either way, i hope that things (have) work(ed) out for you, anon. sorry again about not replying sooner.

YouTuber and Blogger, Vesper is an American expat currently living in Japan.

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