….something very, very bad indeed. i totally jumped the gun and put down a deposit on this little guy when the plan had been to wait until January to get a cat. GAH. anyway, now to blabber on about how that even happened. for my own future reference. tl;dr: i’m ridiculous and he’s coming home September 25th. 🙂
※ cw: dysphoria, genitalia mention ….so, in typical me fashion, i ended up coming out as non-binary to my psychiatrist the other day. i’d had no intention of coming out to him, but at the same time i had no intention of making any effort to not come out to him, so. *shrugs* i’d already come out to him as queer / bi / ace during my first appointment, so i already had some means of gauging what his reaction might be like. also, this is the same guy who is overly focused on “results” and “remission” to the point of being laughable / uncomfortable at times, so i already had reservations about the guy from the start.
※ cw: dysphoria, genitalia mention ….so, in typical me fashion, i ended up coming out as non-binary to my psychiatrist the other day. i’d had no intention of coming out to him, but at the same time i had no intention of making any effort to not come out to him, so. *shrugs* i’d already come out to him as queer / bi / ace during my first appointment, so i already had some means of gauging what his reaction might be like. also, this is the same guy who is overly focused on “results” and “remission” to the point of being laughable / uncomfortable at times, so i already had reservations about the guy from the start.
unimportant meta announcement, but: #VesperSpeaks* …so every now and again i sit in front of my laptop and bang away at it like Keyboard Cat, usually resulting in long-winded rants or random posts about feels… or something. Tumblr being Tumblr, those posts are subsequently lost to the abyss that is this blog soon after i post them, never to be seen again without digging through tags. this page is a non-exhaustive compilation of some of the things i’ve “written” with videos sprinkled in, organized in descending chronological order by category. #LGBTQIA in Japan* i often get asks asking me about things related to Japan or the Japanese language and from time to time i write spontaneous posts related to my experiences in Japan. this page is a compilation of some of those posts. disclaimer: in case this isn’t already clear, please note that everything on this page and on…
as a non-binary person who was deemed to be female at birth, i have struggled all my life with what others consider to be my “womanhood”. when women have fought so hard to progress gender equality to where it is today, asserting that there is no wrong way to be a woman because women can do and be anything– juxtaposed against the continual struggle of trans women and some non-binary people just to have their womanhood recognized and respected– it is incredibly hard not to see my own rejection of womanhood as anything other than internalized misogyny. it certainly doesn’t help that society in general, but women especially, are often more than happy to write off my gender as being nothing more than internalized misogyny. i mean, given how awesome women are but how misogynistic society is, obviously any disconnect i feel with womanhood must be a result of internalized…
i’d make a quasi-linkspam of a post about the many times and ways that i’ve had aro aces tell me that i can’t do / say / talk about / feel / understand something because i’m “romantic”, but more than likely i’d get accused of being arophobic instead of, you know, pointing out a legitimate problem within the aro ace community that ought to be addressed.
free to use: [ 1 ] + [ 2 ]
edited 05/19/2018 to note that while i still stand behind what i was trying to say with these posts, i now find how i went about saying it beyond embarrassing…. but am not deleting it because Accountability. blaqueer: i’ve screencaped these posts and made an original post as to not derail the posts in question or come across as calling out anyone in particular, as that is not at all my intention behind this post, but… i’ve been seeing these flags (and variations of them) floating around both Tumblr and Twitter for over a year now and every time i do, i can’t help but think to myself… people who are not American and thus would not be familiar with US history aside, do [young] people these days not recognize the symbol on these flags as being a re-purposed Black Power Fist….? do [young] people not know that this fist…
me: these meds sure have helped me regain control over my depression and anxiety. finally back to my depressed-anxious-and-angry-but-not-worryingly-so self! psychiatrist: that’s good– but what if– WHAT IF we up the dose a bit. at this rate, there’s a good chance you could go into remission! me: remission lolololol nah, i’m good, i think. pyschiatrist: but– BUT don’t you want to TRY? you could feel even better! me: even better lolololololol no antidepressant is going to make me better cuz no antidepressant is going to make this world less of a shitty place, but thanks anyway lololol
i don’t know why, but it only just occurred to me that in referring to myself as a “queer ace”, as i sometimes do, i may be inadvertently giving off the impression that i don’t think that aces are inherently queer…? that “queer” modifies my aceness rather than encompasses it…??
