nonbinary community Archives | Queer As Cat

Gender[queer], Q&A

Q&A: “Can a maverique person consider themself man or woman-aligned?”

December 23, 2017 / No Comments

anonymous said: You may have answered a similar question before, and if so I apologize, it’s possible that I missed it! I was wondering, can a maverique person consider themself man or woman-aligned? And if a person considered themself woman-aligned and maverique, could they consider themself sapphic, or would you say being sapphic is inherently at odds with being maverique? Navigating the recent alignment discourse as a maverique has been rough for me, and I’d like to hear your thoughts. hi, anon. no worries. i’ve answered a similar question before, but not on this blog. check out what i said [ here ] over on @maveriques. i’m afraid that my answer to the question you’ve asked has not changed at all since responding to the linked ask. that said, i’m really sorry to hear that recent aligned terminology (i’m not caught up at all on any related discourse) has been rough…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “…I can kind of relate to what your earlier post is about the representations of androgyny and nonbinary people…”

December 23, 2017 / No Comments

anonymous said: hey I just wanted to say that I can kind of relate to what your earlier post is about, not in that i’m black but in that i’m amab and the representations of androgyny and nonbinary people I see tend to be of a white, slim, crew cut hair cut with afab secondary sex characteristics, like a white pre-t trans man. my face is distincitvely male so it’s really not possible for me to pull off that look you were talking about because I can’t fit into that narrow somewhat accepted box. I might be getting a bit philosphical but I think that society see things in categories, like the light spectrum, even though there are infinite shades we demarcate them into 8 colours, in the past lgbt was pretty much all the colours there were, now there’s lgbtqia+. So if it’s any consolation as someone who is…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I had someone who was a POC tell me [maverique] was appropriative of POC cultures…”

September 1, 2017 / No Comments

anonymous said: This is probably a complex issue, so apologies in advance if I have to send multiple asks, but I’m white l, and recently I have been identifying as Maverique, it is the best way I’ve found to describe my gender and it sits very well for me, but I had someone who was a POC tell me it was appropriative of POC cultures and was basically just ‘white people taking it and making it okay to id as a third gender’ and, while I disagreed with them and it was very upsetting, (pt 1) I know it is not my place to argue with them over what is and isn’t cultural appropriation. I’m not really sure what to do, because they told me it would be racist of me to continue id’ing as maverique and that I should use neutrois or something similar instead, but neutral terms aren’t…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I just saw how to say you’re non-binary in Japanese and it was super exciting for me…”

August 30, 2017 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi. I just saw the ask you answered about how to say you’re non-binary in Japanese and it was super exciting for me to see. I’m a non-binary teen living in Japan, and it’s amazing to see that because it’s a sign that there is an active community of non-binary people that is large enough for these words to exist. It’s wonderful. ( re: this post ) hello, anon. thanks for stopping by to drop me this ask because it’s exciting for me to hear that my post was able to reach someone like you. awesome! while awareness of Xジェンダー people still has a long way to go in Japan (as it does for non-binary people around the world), there definitely are active Xジェンダー people in Japan. in Japanese, many describe themself as MtX, FtX, Xジェンダー or any of the other terms i mentioned in the post that you…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “Is it just me, or has the definition [of agender] shifted?”

August 23, 2017 / No Comments

anonymous said: I’ve got a question about agender. I was sifting through some of your old posts and noticed that you’ve previously framed agender as including “doesn’t have any gender identity at all.” Is it just me, or has that definition shifted? I use quoigender over agender because I’ve always gotten this vibe from the nonbinary community(ies) that agender is a gender identity, like how asexuality is a sexual orientation. (Incidentally, I hope that you’re hiatus has helped you recover.) hello anon. thanks for the kind wishes and sorry for taking so long to get to your ask. i’m guessing that the old post that you are referencing might be this one? either way, i feel like everything that i said in that post still holds true today and not much has changed…? the non-binary community in general– and indeed, many agender people themselves– still has / have a tendency…

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “Thank you for defending us aporagender people…”

August 1, 2017 /

anonymous said: Hey! Thank you for defending us aporagender people even if it’s not your problem! Really, thank you so much. It felt like some posts were attacking us directly. Many of us are almost incapable of trying to fight back because the nature of the posts were becoming rather violent and, personally, they made me afraid of coming out as my gender in public. ( re: this post? ) no need to thank me, anon. i’m just sorry that the incessant ‘discourse’ (to use le mot à la mode) that always seems to come and go on this site regarding maverique / aporagender / aliagender and “third gender” has caused you and others so much distress… whether i be aporagender myself or not, it is still very much my problem and has been since before either “maverique” or “aporagender” were coined. furthermore, as someone who has weathered multiple reiterations…

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016
Gender[queer], Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “[i] need help finding a word for my gender identity, if possible?”

July 5, 2017 / No Comments

anonymous said: need help finding a word for my gender identity, if possible? agender was close, but its not that i dont have a gender, its that my gender is neutral. neutrois appears to be the closest thing, from the definitions ive seen. while i do have dysphoria & have thought abt certain aspects of transitioning, and a desire to be neutral in appearance – all aspects of definitions of neutrois ive seen – it appears to /require/ these things. and that heavy medical/clinical emphasis makes me v uncomfortable. oh, anon… if only you knew how ironic if feels to be on the receiving end of this ask. and in fact, i’ve been on the receiving end of an ask like this before. you aren’t alone in your discomfort. the irony, though? that i feel the same way and have felt this way since 2012, back when neutrois was much…

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Vesper H.

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tfw TERFs.

March 1, 2017 / No Comments

…mmm, that feel when you’re getting an influx of notes because a certain post of yours is being circulated among TERF lesbians praising Japan for its trans misogyny. edit: oh joy, of course someone had to go there. trigger warning for all of the links in this post, but rape warning for that last one.

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Vesper H.

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Q&A not Q&A: “i’m nonbinary and i’m also aro/ace. i no longer WANT to be part of [the LGBT] community…”

September 15, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: okay sorry for dragging this in here, but. i’m nonbinary. and ppl have been saying that nb ppl ARE lgbt+. but here’s the thing: i’m also aro/ace. i no longer WANT to be part of that community, even if i “qualify” bc at the end of the day, they still don’t want me there. they may be accepting of my identity as nb, but that would mean ignoring my identity as aro/ace. if i’m gonna be accepted somewhere, i want to be accepted for all of me, not just part. just my 2 cents. hello anon, i feel you on this. i really do. as a non-binary, bi / pan ace i’ve also been faced with people wanting to selectively choose what part of my “counts” or is “valid reason” for me to be included in something. like you, i am of the stance that acceptance of me is an…

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
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Re: Re: “Why do you think some nb genders are becoming more well known than other nb genders?”

September 14, 2016 / No Comments

nextstepcake: queerascat: nextstepcake: queerascat: anonymous said: Hey Vesper! I have a question. I’ve noticed that within the nonbinary and larger trans and queer and so forth communities, some nonbinary genders seem to get more recognition than others. Some- especially maverique as I’ve noticed- are hardly known of by many other nonbinary and/or trans people, while others such are gaining recognition in trans, nb, and other circles much more quickly in comparison. Why do you think some nb genders are becoming more well known than other nb genders? hi anon, this is a really tough question. not just because of how subjective it is (i mean, what even counts as ‘recognition’, let alone what counts as ‘more’ or ‘more quickly’), but also because there are an infinite number of factors involved in why any non-binary gender gets any amount of recognition at all. imho, some non-binary genders are more commonly recognized…

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Vesper H.

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