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Feedback: “I saw your video about confusing gender attraction with gender envy/admiration and as newly realised asexual it really hit a chord with me…”
anonymous said: I saw your video about confusing gender attraction with gender envy/admiration and as newly realised asexual it really hit a chord with me… I think this is what I’ve been experiencing a lot, seeing people and wanting to be like they are because they’re so free or happy with how they express themselves, and calling it attraction like my friends call it attraction when they see a guy and want to do him, when it’s not the same at all. ( re: this post ) yeah, attraction is really complicated because there’s so much involved… sometimes even gender envy / admiration can be a involved when one experiences attraction, but yeah. it’s also a thing in and of itself that may not be related to attraction at all. thanks for sharing your experiences, anon. 🙂
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Feedback: “Your video on gender envy/admiration really spoke to me.”
anonymous said: Your video on gender envy/admiration really spoke to me. When I figured out my aroace identity and my predominate aesthetic attraction to femme people I didn’t quite understand how I had convinced myself I was straight for so long. I feel like later after I realized I was masc non binary it explained more of my assumed attraction to masc people as being more along the lines of “i want to be like them”. ( re: this post ) ah, i can relate to the “convinced myself i was straight for so long” thing. i very much feel like gender envy / admiration (among other things) played a part in me falling for the whole “straight by default” (among other) shit that society fed me from Day 1 and that i likely would have broken free of that sooner had i recognized gender envy / admiration for what it…
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Q&A: “do you think gender admiration can only happen to trans people or to queer people in general?”
anonymous said: do you think gender admiration can only happen to trans people or to queer people in general? sorry if this bothers you i’m most certainly not an expert on gender admiration / envy, mind you, but… i feel like anyone has the potential to experience it. having said that, i’m currently under the impression that it’s very much a thing among LGBTQIA people and that some are more apt to experience it than others…? and as always with anything of this nature, different people experience it in different ways. for someone who isn’t cis, gender admiration / envy may be related to gender dysphoria and / or gender euphoria, for example, whereas for a cis person it may not be.
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Feedback: “your video on attraction & gender envy was rly interesting!”
anonymous said: your video on attraction & gender envy was rly interesting! Im also ace and nb and i think about it a lot about lately. I struggle to separate my looks-based/aesthetic attraction for masc ppl from dysphoria based envy and I thought it was just me! ( re: this post ) with 30+ people and counting on YouTube and many more elsewhere commenting that they’ve also had similar experiences, it looks like neither of us was as alone in our experiences as we’d thought. 🙂
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QAC 54 – Confusing Gender Envy & Admiration with Attraction || Non-Binary | Asexual
it’s come to my attention recently that some feelings that i assummed were attraction may have not been attraction at all, but rather “gender envy” or “gender admiration”– feelings of admiration or envy towards someone else’s gender be it their self-expression, gender identity, (lack of) gender roles or socially imposed gender norms– anything pertaining to a person’s gender. never heard of gender envy or gender admiration before…? i’m not surprised, since i just pulled the terms out of my ass for lack of a better way of referring to these gender feels that i’m attempting to navigate. as someone who’s both non-binary and asexual i feel like both of these things have played a part in me mistaking gender envy / admiration for attraction. this is something that i’m just now beginning to give thought to, so please bear with me as i stumble around trying to talk about things.…
