anon Archives | Page 23 of 29 | Queer As Cat

Feedback, Q&A

Q&A not Q&A: “…the first definition of [aporagender] was literally “same as third gender but white people can use too”…”

December 14, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: Not trying to start an argument by any means, but I think the reason that person said aporagender (I’ve probably spelt that wrong) is racist, is because the first definition of it was literally “same as third gender but white people can use too” or something along those lines, which some see as racist, because something that’s the same as third gender, considering the terms history, shouldn’t be for white people. Sorry if this sounded argumentative thats not my aim at all ? having kept a watchful eye on the term aporagender pretty much since around the time of its coinage (because it was in fact coined around the exact same time that i coined maverique) i can safely say that i have never seen the word defined nor described in that way. as such, i am extremely skeptical that that is the reason why the anon is…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “One of my cis male friends said he identifies as a lesbian.”

December 14, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: One of my cis male friends said he identifies as a lesbian. When I tried telling him that wasn’t okay, he said that I have to respect his identity and that anyone who identifies as a lesbian is a lesbian. He used nonbinary people as an example. He called me a gatekeeper. What can I do/say? Is he right? Can anyone id as a lesbian? Is it always bad to be a gatekeeper? …i find myself wanting to think that this friend of yours was just kidding, was just trying to pull your leg, was perhaps trying to put into words something about himself but upon failing at finding better words settling on those words– but perhaps i really am just grasping at straws and your friend really is just a cis binary male who identifies as a lesbian. i actually googled “male lesbian” just now and got a…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A not Q&A: ” Aporagender is an appropriative term used/coined by white people…”

December 14, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: On the aporagender topic. Aporagender is an appropriative term used/coined by white people who were sad they couldn’t use the term third gender. I’d advise you to use maverique, which is basically the same, but coined by a PoC and thus not appropriative. dear anon, care to explain what, exactly, is being appropriated by aporagender? the word itself isn’t appropriative, so what is it that’s being appropriated? do you seriously think that people of color are the only people who have the right to coin words for their own gender if it happens to be completely outside of the male-female binary?? also, you do realize that “third gender” is a word coined and used by white colonialist and anthropologists to indiscriminately and non-consensually label the genders of non-white people that they deemed “deviant” from “the norm”? that “third gender” itself is a white colonialist term, not a ‘POC term’?? yes, it’s a…

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Vesper H.

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February 23, 2016
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Q&A: “Bisexism is the discriminating views of bisexuals against monosexuals…”

December 8, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: “Bisexism is the discriminating views of bisexuals against monosexuals. Bisexists believe that limiting oneself to only one gender or sex is forced and discriminative, and due to social conditioning rather than free thought. ” Thoughts? this is the first time i’ve ever heard of the term “bisexism”. my initial thoughts are: why is this even being called “bisexism”? is it because the coiner of this word thinks that only bi people could hold such views? is it because the coiner thinks that bi people are the only people attracted to more than one gender? is it just because the coiner happened to encounter people who were bi who held such views? seriously, why are bi people the ones being called out for this? as if others aren’t capable of holding the ignorant views that are being referred to as “bisexism”. if someone wants to argue for the word “multisexism” in response to…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “Can polysexual gay people be biphobic? Also can bi people be homophobic?”

December 7, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: Can polysexual gay people be biphobic? Also can bi people be homophobic? both biphobia and homophobia are a set of beliefs and actions based upon those beliefs. literally anyone of any sexuality (or gender) can hold such beliefs, so literally anyone could potentially be biphobic or homophobic, imho.

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “Can nonbinary lesbians be monosexist?”

December 7, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: Can nonbinary lesbians be monosexist? I’m bisexual and I used the term monosexual during a conversation with someone I’ve been seeing and they were not happy about it. They identify as genderqueer and a lesbian and said that the term monosexual limits who can identify as a lesbian and ignores nonbinary folk. I don’t feel like they were being monosexist but were they? I feel the term is useful but they had very valid points. monosexism, in short, is the belief that monosexualities (ie. heterosexuality and homosexuality) are the only “true” or “legit” sexualities. e.g. the belief that non-monosexuals (bisexuals, pansexuals, polysexuals etc) are “really just either straight or gay.” literally anyone of any sexuality or gender could hold such beliefs, so literally anyone could potentially be monosexist. however, your friend taking issue with the term monosexual (as some people do for various reasons) and saying that it limits who can…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “So I have a friend who uses they/them/theirs and identifies as a lesbian.”

November 28, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: So I have a friend who uses they/them/theirs and identifies as a lesbian. A mutual friend of ours recently made a comment about how our friend is identifying “wrong” because only women can be lesbians. I’m not sure how to respond to this other than calling them an asshole, which I already did. Also I don’t know if I should tell my friend about this because like I said earlier they are also friends with said asshole. Advice, maybe? well, honestly i’m inclined to call someone who’s attempting to gatekeep or police someone else’s identity an asshole myself, so… that said, there are a few things i want to comment on even though i think that you and i are already on the same page about these things. your mutual friend indeed has no right to even suggest that your friend is identifying the “wrong” way. their comment is…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “Did you go to college?”

November 28, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: Did you go to college? If so what did you get your degree in? i did! i have a Bachelors of Arts in Applied Linguistics with a minor in Japanese. now if only i could go back to school… sigh.

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “”Wow, I would have never known you use to be a girl!” How would that be offensive?”

November 26, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: I saw the pictures you reposted with the transgender people. The one that said, “Wow, I would have never known you use to be a girl!” How would that be offensive? I feel like that would be an okay thing to say? Sorry if I’m coming off as rude. ? (the post in question) saying something like that to a trans person is offensive for several reasons. perhaps some of the biggest reasons are that: a trans person never “used to be” anything. just because doctors and society assumed them to be something else in the past doesn’t mean they were ever anything other than the gender that they are. just as a trans man doesn’t start being a man after transitioning, a trans man doesn’t stop being a girl after transitioning. they were never a girl to begin with. it can be dysphoria inducing to have someone…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “my friends told me she decided that “mom” is gender neutral and shes going to keep calling me that…”

November 13, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: my friend group has always had this thing where they call me “mom”. a while ago I came out as trans to most of them, and one of my friends told me she decided that “mom” is gender neutral and shes going to keep calling me that bc it’s just our thing. but it’s kind of been bothering me lately bc I don’t want that used for me anymore. I feel like if I tell them that, they’ll get annoyed and ignore me and think I’m making a big deal out of it, when it actually kind of makes me dysphoric. my humble opinion is that you should be up front with them. tell them what you’ve told me, that being referred to as “mom” makes you feel dysphoric/that you aren’t comfortable being referred to as that anymore. if they’re really your friends they shouldn’t ignore or belittle your…

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Vesper H.

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