…today America decided for me that i can’t “come home” for at least another 4 years.
i might not have anyway, but at least the option was there.
there’s a lot of talk of people wanting to leave America. i get that. i said the same thing living in America when Bush was elected. if only i’d known that leaving America doesn’t actually mean escaping it. not like i’d thought, anyway.
next year will be my 10th year of living abroad. i never imagined i’d ever live abroad at all let alone for as long as i have, but the longer i do the harder it becomes to envision a life back in America again. even so, 4 more years on top of the time i’ve already spent abroad puts me that much closer to having spent half of my life abroad… but perhaps that doesn’t even matter, because after today America doesn’t feel like a country i’d ever want to go back to anyway.
…which in and of itself is a really complex mix of feelings on top of everything else that i don’t know how to deal with right now.