two months after moving back to America from Japan, i've finally done what i've been dreaming about doing for years...! that is, cutting off my butt-length locs of 11 years-- i.e., the #BigChop...
cw: rape apologism …so i just had lunch with someone who is essentially a random woman who chased me down at a train station last week because she admired my locs and wanted me to start locs for her. had this woman not been a black woman, had she not been an older black woman, had she not been literally beaming from ear to ear just looking at my locs, so earnest about wanting to start locs herself and having nowhere to turn– had it not been for all those things AND had we not been in Japan, i wouldn’t have given this lady the time of day. especially since she made me miss my train. but she was and we are and so there i was, meeting this over zealous woman at a cafe for lunch because #AfroHairSolidarityInAsia✊? if only the conversation had steered clear of politics, things would have been fine. i…
January 1st, 2017: an attempt at being more “active” about my own well-being à la microblogging finally gets off the ground. i’ve been thinking about making something like this for myself for a while, but have always dragged my feet about it. BLAQUEER will be devoted to any and everything that i find helpful for myself personally re: navigating queerness, mental health and self-care as a black person. at the moment, i envision that as including, but not being limited to: photos, artwork, etc of queer black people existing: because goddamnit, be it on Tumblr or out in the world at large, i never see that without actively search for it. i want a place where i can see people like me existing without having to hunt for it each time. i also want to curate what i see because i’m tired of wading through hypersexualization / hypermasculinzation when i do hunt…
aaahhh, more annoying Japanese TV. despite what i said (in Japanese) while letting off steam livetweeting on Twitter, i know it’s not fair of me to expect anyone, let alone this guy (Jun Soejima, an actor / “talent” btw), to react any certain way or educate the people around him on behalf of other black people in Japan. i really don’t actually expect that or anything else of him, despite my whining, but it does admittedly annoy me when people on Japanese TV just laugh off some really shitty, problematic stuff that people say or do to them, be it re: racial issues, trans issues, or anything else. they’re in a difficult situation and have all kind of things to consider when they react to something, whereas i can huff and puff at the TV saying all the choice words i like without consequence. i get that…. but meh. it was…
a former coworker (W) and i were in Tokyo today at Sensoji, a major tourist trap in Asakusa that’s in every foreign EVERY guidebook ever. a place that i generally avoid except i was playing tour guide for the day. i was off somewhere snapchatting, as i do, and when i came back to where W was there was a random middle-aged Japanese man excitedly talking to him about where he was from (Colorodo). i’m standing there for a minute or two half listening to their convo while taking random photos, as i also do, when the man realizes that i’m with the guy he’s trying to chat up in broken English. he decides to do the same with me, except… man: ooh, where are you from? me: Las Vegas. man: no, where?? me: Las Vegas…? America…? *confused as people generally know Las Vegas* man: no no, where are you from long…
…..in which i Snapchat rant about how uncomfortable / exasperating it is as a black person reading books etc with black characters in it to my young Japanese students. Tumblr forced me to upload the video externally because of the file size, so i put it on the QAC YouTube channel unlisted, but i don’t care if anyone shares it elsewhere. also, i swear me posting random, annoying Snapchat rants on here or on YouTube isn’t going to become a thing. i just have to share this last one. ;(
it’s been over a year since i made this channel about being non-binary, queer, panromantic / biromantic asexual and a person of color, but there’s more to me than just my gender, sexuality and ethnicity. mind getting to know me a little? i’ve even added timestamps to make doing so easier. 😉 ======= Navigation ======== @00:00 – Channel introduction @00:39 – About me ========= Q & A ========= @03:00 – What are your favorite books/literature/authors? @04:02 – Who’re your top 3 musical artists? @04:26 – What are your favorite anime series or manga? @05:13 – Do you/did you play any instruments? @6:16 – What inspires you? @7:59 – Any dreams for the future? @08:50 – Do you consider yourself African American or just American or what? @10:46 – Is Japan expensive? @11:16 – What’s your other YouTube channel? @11:54 – What’s been the most difficult thing about living in Japan?…
i’m all over the place in this video. i rant about my personal experiences with the policing that takes place within the black community, concepts of “blackness” (and in turn, “whitewashing”) in the black community, being a black asexual, fears of transitioning as a black non-binary person, being black abroad and intersectionality, to varying degrees. i’m sure i’ll get ill feelings directed at me for some of the feelings and views expressed in this video, but whatever. my feelings and experiences are what they are and they needed to be (and deserve to be) expressed. that said, got your own personal experiences with race/ethnicity and sexuality/gender that you’d like to share? i’d love to hear about them. 🙂 sigh! this is why i don’t generally talk about this kind of stuff. “too much feels”…
