as an AFAB non-binary person with zero interest in "passing" as male, i never thought that i'd still be on HRT nearly 2 years after having started… and yet here we are.
happy new year…! speaking of new years, i seem to have inadvertently ended up still being on T (nearly) 1 year after having started, despite having never intended to continue HRT for so long…
in 2014, YouTube outted me to my mom and she’s struggled to understand, let alone accept my sexuality and gender ever since. four years later, things are still touch-and-go when mom finds out that i’m on testosterone and in what she perceives to be a “lesbian relationship”… does her head implode yet again? #ItGetsBetter, they said. well, at this point i have zero fucks to give either way, buuttt i made this #LifeUpdate / #StoryTime video for you anyway. consider this me being ‘officially’ back from being MIA / AFK, i suppose.
six months on testosterone and navigating having a (over)active libido (or “sex drive”) to show for it. as an ace, suddenly having to navigate having a high libido for the first time in my life has been…. interesting, to say the least.
a little over three months later, the changes that i’m experiencing on 100mg / 2 weeks of injectible testosterone are seemingly more subtle than they were starting out… or perhaps that’s just me being less hyperaware of every single little thing now compared to in the beginning when every single little thing was Amaze and OMG. there’s only so long a person can maintain such hyperawareness of their own body before the hyperawareness itself becomes exhausting, you know? either way, noticeable changes are still happening and in this episode of The T Files i talk about weight gain, changing personal hygiene, higher body temperature, changes in libido and related Asexy Feels along with The Much TMI, So WTF topic of genitalia shiz. and now, stay tuned for an advertisement from our sponsors– Starbucks! bringing Quality Video Descriptions born out of sleep deprivation, fueled by the remnants of our grande Caramel…
looking back over the past month, it feels like quite a bit has happened: minor voice changes, chest “deflation”, libido reincarnation and the beginnings of facial hair growth?! to name just a few. however, none of those things hold a candle to the unexpected health benefits that i’ve experienced since starting T as someone who is anemic. maybe staying on T long-term wouldn’t be such a bad idea after all…..? cue melodramatic music, but not really.
for those not familiar with reading syringes or dosages in general, figuring out how to read or calculate dosages of testosterone injections can be confusing. while i’m certainly no expert at it myself (and as such, please do correct me if i’ve gotten something wrong), i have yet to see any other video specific to this topic in regards to testosterone for non-binary, trans and gender non-conforming people, so i figured i’d try my hand at it. the usual “I AM NOT A DOCTOR” disclaimer applies. …iono, maybe someone out there will find this video helpful. meanwhile, i’m tired of flooding my own channel with nothing but HRT-related videos. time to talk about other things. soonish. zzz…
voice cracking? increased stamina? mood swings?? it’s been one month since i started a relatively low dosage of testosterone and even though in actuality not much has happened yet, i’m still surprised by what has. it’s been an interesting month, but as it turns out starting low-dose T isn’t as simple as simply choosing a random low dosage and going with the recommended injection frequency. or at least, not when you’re trying to manage depression and anxiety on top of it all and you’re not sure fluctuating hormone levels are a risk that you want to take. one month later, while still happy with my decision to start T, it’s time to take a moment to pause. recap. and reevaluate. …my video descriptions sound like the back of a poorly written novel abandoned on the shelf with the tabloids in the checkout aisle because someone decided last minute that it…
blaqueer: blaqueer: blaqueer: blaqueer: content warning: TMI regarding bodily functions & genitals week 1 (62.5mg /2 weeks, injection) exacerbated drowsiness like what oncoming-cold-like throat shenanigans voice in my head sounding like it does when i first wake up, except all day long random, awkward voice cracking when trying to talk over obnoxious teenagers random, inexplicable genital feels random, pre-menstruation-like feels from that arrogant thing called a uterus stairs suddenly became a little less formidable after the injection, but not for all that long. my bladder suddenly isn’t what it used to be– why??? week 2 bladder weirdness is still a thing throat shenanigans are no longer a thing voice cracking still is a thing marginally lower-than-normal speaking voice more easily maintainable; however, without conscious effort, speaking voice remains unchanged downstairs growth hardly noticeable but there began wondering early on into week 2 if all of the T had already been…
it’s only been 48 hours, but i’m finally on T! 62.5 mg/ml of Enarmon Depot (エナルモンデポー) every two weeks, to be specific. The T Files is a series of videos documenting my journey to get testosterone in Japan and wherever i may end up with it from there. while this series may be helpful for those who are interested in the process of getting HRT (more specifically, testosterone) in Japan, it’s also just my personal playlist of [shit]videos about my adventures with T for my own future reference. watch at your own digression. :p more like 72+ hours on T now, but who’s counting. only YouTube, who immediately flagged this video as inappropriate for some advertisers, presumably just because it had “testosterone” and “HRT” in it. sigh.
