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Queer As Cat

gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

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  • Home
  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

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  • Q&A

    Q&A: “I think I’m a cis girl but I’ve discovered that I don’t mind if someone would call me by other pronouns…”

    August 1, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hey 🙂 I think I’m a cis girl but I’ve discovered that I don’t mind if someone would call me by other pronouns than she/her or call me a dude or something. On some days I feel more masculine and I feel more feminine. Is that “normal”? i’m a strong believer in there being no such thing as “normal” and that what most people consider to be “normal” is really just “common”, but anyway… is that common among cis girls? i’m afraid that i have no idea. based on what i’ve heard, i wouldn’t say that it’s uncommon. then again, i’d also like to point out that whether it’s common or not says nothing about your gender anyway. everyone, regardless of whether they’re cis, trans and / or non-binary, has their own unique relationship with and feelings about the language used to refer to them and how they feel about their…

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    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I am a Muslim who wears hijab and I wanted to know if I have the right to use the label genderfluid to describe myself?”

    April 27, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I am a Muslim who wears hijab and I wanted to know if I have the right to use the label genderfluid to describe myself? Even though I identify as either male, female, androgynous or something else, I am AFAB and have always presented myself as female, so does this sort of question the validity of my claim as genderfluid? Because I wear hijab all the time, I feel like I can’t claim to be anything but female as many people see hijab as a gender indicator rather than as a religious concept? anon, you have every right to identify as whatever feels comfortable or right to you. how you present yourself neither validates nor invalidates your identity, regardless of what anyone else thinks or says. gender identity is one thing, gender (or self) expression is another. for some people, these two things happen to coincide with one…

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    Vesper H.

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    …one of many examples of why navigating セクマイ / LGBTQIA spaces in Japan can be painful at times.

    October 7, 2016

    “maverique” v2.0

    June 15, 2014

    AskAPan Week 06 – “Genderblind”ness (+DOMA comments)

    June 28, 2013
  • [A]sexuality,  [Random] Thoughts,  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness]

    non-binary gender norms & (a)sexuality: yeah, no.

    March 28, 2016 / No Comments

    the following post was originally a vlog that was submitted for the March 2016 Carnival of Aces based on the theme “Gender Norms and Asexuality.” check out The Asexual Agenda’s Carnival of Aces Masterpost for more information. a lot of people feel like there is a connection between one’s gender and sexuality, be it in the form of gender roles, “gender presentation”, sexual attraction (or lack thereof) et cetera ad infinitum. having said that, i’m not going to lie… i really don’t get it.

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Antiblackness and Binarism: Grindr in Japan

    January 6, 2018

    QAC 55 – Older Asexuals: Coming Out Later In Life | Questioning | Trauma

    October 23, 2016

    「私はゲイ」自分の言葉で、自分を語る / “I’m Gay” – Talking About Myself By Myself: Gay men talk about their own identity.

    May 6, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  [Random] Thoughts,  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness],  YouTube[r]

    QAC 48 – Non-Binary Gender Norms & (A)sexuality: Yeah, No.

    March 27, 2016 / 1 Comment

    for many the intersection of gender identity, gender norms and sexuality is complicated, to say the least. so what happens when the world doesn’t even know that your gender identity exists? when there are literally few, if any, gender norm associated with your gender? when your sexuality itself is as invisible as your gender identity and non-existent gender norms? welcome to Vesperland, where even the most complicated of things somehow manages to become even more complicated. this video is a submission for the March 2016 Carnival of Aces based on the theme “Gender Norms and Asexuality.” to find out more, check out The Asexual Agenda’s Carnival of Aces Masterpost. …has anyone ever submitted a video for the Carnival of Aces? hmm… this video will be accompanied by a text version that i’ll post tomorrow, but please don’t let that stop you from watching the video. i’ll add captions to the…

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    Vesper H.

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    Ace & Non-binary Pride @Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2015 (04/26/15)

    May 10, 2015

    Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2016: Asexual & Trans / Non-binary Awesomeness!

    May 14, 2016

    Black Mirror: “San Junipero”

    July 6, 2017
  • Gender[queer],  Q&A

    Q&A: “…isn’t it equally true that you can’t know someone’s gender just by looking at them?”

    March 9, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: On the “you can’t know someone’s genitals just by looking at them” line of thought, isn’t it equally true that you can’t know someone’s gender just by looking at them? I’ve definitely been attracted to people who I later found out were a different gender than I thought they were. indeed, you can’t tell someone’s gender just by looking at them and it can suck for everyone involved when someone is assumed to be a gender that they are not. the same could be said of sexuality; about “gaydar” and other assumptions that people make about someone’s sexuality based on looks (or mannerisms, etc). sadly, society and human interaction in general operates on assumptions, even when it comes to the most everyday of things. to some extent, assumptions are unavoidable. no one is psychic, so one has to venture a guess at things and act based on that guess…

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    Vesper H.

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    QAC 62 – The Road To HRT: Fears, Goals & Compromise || Non-Binary || The T Files #002

    December 11, 2017

    QAC 24 – Labels: Why They’re Important + Why I Use Them

    March 17, 2014

    Happy Non-binary Day!

    July 14, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I have been questioning my sexuality lately.”

    March 5, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hi I have been questioning my sexuality lately. I have once dated a girl but we felt awkward. I have gotten “crushes” on girls but i am not sure if I think I like them or if I actually do. I never really get butterflies looking a them. Please help. Thank you. hi anon, not everyone gets the proverbial “butterflies in their stomach” when they like someone, so it’s probably best not to focus on that when trying to figure out how you feel about someone. if you think you like someone, the only advice i can give you is to just go with that. this may be easier said than done, but try to explore those feelings. give yourself a chance to see whether you do or don’t like that someone. take notice of the ways in which you do like them, if you even like them at…

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    Vesper H.

    You May Also Like

    QAC 41 – Am I Asexual? | Never Too Young To Know

    October 18, 2015

    Ash Hardell’s “The ABC’s of LGBT+” in Japanese!

    November 25, 2017

    QAC 19 – Asexuality: An FAQ

    October 25, 2013
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “do you think you could help me explain why sexuality is not the same as having a “racial preference”…?”

    January 9, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hey, do you think you could help me explain why sexuality is not the same as having a “racial preference” for who you date? Like I know they’re different but I can’t seem to explain it very well. Thanks!! hi anon! sorry for taking so long to reply. in my humble opinion, “sexuality” is a very broad term that is used to describe a wide variety of things, including preferences that a person may have with regards to gender, number of partners, types of relationships, hair color/type/location, race, and a million other things. racial preference is a thing that could be considered relevant to a person’s sexuality. that doesn’t mean it isn’t or can’t be racist to have such a preference. that said, i get the feeling that you’re looking to explain the difference between sexual orientation and racial preference rather than sexuality in general. that is a…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

    You May Also Like

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  [Random] Thoughts,  Queer[ness]

    sexnormativity

    January 12, 2015 / 2 Comments

    like “heteronormativity” and “amatornormativity”, can we please make “sexnormativity” a thing? simply put: sexnormativity: the assumption that sexual attraction and/or a desire for sex is a universal trait that everyone shares. the ace community has long since been battling sexnormativity as it plays a large role in a/acephobia. however, aces are not the only ones suffering from sexnormativity. people who are repulsed by and/or adverse to sex people with “low”/”high” libidos teenagers young adults seniors survivors of sexual assault/abuse and so many more literally anyone and probably everyone is affected by sexnormativity to some degree or another at some point in their life because sexnormativity ties into so many things: peer pressure, stereotypes, hypersexualization, desexualization, heteronormativity, amatonormativity, slut-shaming, victim blaming, trauma invalidation, erasure, parental/familial expectations and the list goes on. awareness and discussion of sexnormativity needs to go beyond the confines of the ace community. please let this be a thing that the world is made…

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    Vesper H.

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    Re: Tokyo Ace Meetup

    April 5, 2015

    QAC 28 – On “Blackness”, Queer Identity & Intersectionality (a rant)

    July 14, 2014

    QAC 72 – Outted To Religious Mom: 4 Years Later | HRT | Non-Binary Relationship || #ItGetsBetter?

    September 18, 2018
  • [A]sexuality,  [Random] Thoughts,  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness],  YouTube[r]

    QAC 31 – Relationships… Meh.

    November 17, 2014 / No Comments

    in this video i think aloud about past relationships (friendships & romantic), social normative bullshit, international relationships and the future. the topic of relationships is something that at this point in my life i don’t care to think much about, let alone talk about, but i gave it a try. perhaps i’m somewhere among the gray-aromantic spectrum in addition to being biromantic / panromantic…? meh. more stuff i don’t feel like facing atm. for more information about types of attraction and/or romantic orientations, watch this video: http://youtu.be/Gi1AoGmo84o

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

    You May Also Like

    QAC 75 – Questioning In Silence?: Identity | Self-Discovery | Stigma || Random Thoughts

    February 27, 2019

    Antiblackness and Binarism: Grindr in Japan

    January 6, 2018

    QAC 55 – Older Asexuals: Coming Out Later In Life | Questioning | Trauma

    October 23, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  [Random] Thoughts,  Queer[ness]

    ANNOYING.

    September 24, 2014 / No Comments

    …that feel when some random guy chats you up while you’re sitting around in some government building for hours (ie. a DMV) so you have literally no means of escape and eventually he manages to get contact info out of you because you’re too nice and then he starts messaging you and flirting and you just want him to stop and go away because it’s annoyinnnnng.

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    “love languages”?? communication tool.

    May 1, 2019

    QAC 04 – Why I Identify as Panromantic & Biromantic

    May 24, 2013

    gender non-conformity sure does make for good entertainment for cis people, huh Japan?

    April 25, 2016
123

VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

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Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

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