social conditioning Archives | Queer As Cat

Q&A

Q&A not Q&A: “maybe anon has a problem with compulsory heterosexuality…”

August 22, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: maybe anon has a problem with compulsory heterosexuality / the fact that they were raised to be available to men? I have a similar problem – logically I don’t CARE if men find me attractive, and yet I can’t stop fretting over not being “acceptable” to them. I don’t have this problem with other people even though men are the group I’m actually least interested in. I hate this and I’m trying to let go of this feeling, but it’s hard. (re: this post) that thought occurred to me, but i didn’t want to make assumptions about anon’s gender or even their AGAB, so i erred on the side of giving general commentary with that ask. but yeah, internalized heteronormativity and compulsory heterosexuality is definitely a thing that many people struggle with and anon may also be struggling with. it’s social programming that can be extremely difficult to…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “…isn’t it equally true that you can’t know someone’s gender just by looking at them?”

March 9, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: On the “you can’t know someone’s genitals just by looking at them” line of thought, isn’t it equally true that you can’t know someone’s gender just by looking at them? I’ve definitely been attracted to people who I later found out were a different gender than I thought they were. indeed, you can’t tell someone’s gender just by looking at them and it can suck for everyone involved when someone is assumed to be a gender that they are not. the same could be said of sexuality; about “gaydar” and other assumptions that people make about someone’s sexuality based on looks (or mannerisms, etc). sadly, society and human interaction in general operates on assumptions, even when it comes to the most everyday of things. to some extent, assumptions are unavoidable. no one is psychic, so one has to venture a guess at things and act based on that guess…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A

Q&A: “do you think you could help me explain why sexuality is not the same as having a “racial preference”…?”

January 9, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hey, do you think you could help me explain why sexuality is not the same as having a “racial preference” for who you date? Like I know they’re different but I can’t seem to explain it very well. Thanks!! hi anon! sorry for taking so long to reply. in my humble opinion, “sexuality” is a very broad term that is used to describe a wide variety of things, including preferences that a person may have with regards to gender, number of partners, types of relationships, hair color/type/location, race, and a million other things. racial preference is a thing that could be considered relevant to a person’s sexuality. that doesn’t mean it isn’t or can’t be racist to have such a preference. that said, i get the feeling that you’re looking to explain the difference between sexual orientation and racial preference rather than sexuality in general. that is a…

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Vesper H.

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QAC 30 – Gender Expression / Presentation Blurb

October 28, 2014 / No Comments

…what began as a blurb turned into a rant. how predictable. in this video i blurb/rant about my own gender expression and (as always) how society pisses me off. i curse quite a bit in this video, so….

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Vesper H.

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totally random Yukihari / hazardaĵo pri Yukihari

June 26, 2014 / No Comments

does anyone else do this and it really piss you off that you do? talk in a ridiculously high voice and use wordage you’d otherwise NEVER use because you’re: talking to an animal talking to a young child/baby working a customer service job goddamn society conditioning me to do crap i detest, making it so hard for me to NOT automatically do it. i nearly deleted this video as soon as i saw it because my voice etc really disgusts me, but then i couldn’t delete Yuki’s cuteness. ;(

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Vesper H.

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