sexual orientation Archives | Queer As Cat

Japan[ese], Q&A

Q&A: “I’ve explained to my mom a couple of times what asexuality and aromanticism are and how they differ…”

August 9, 2017 / No Comments

buffintruda said: I’ve explained to my mom a couple of times what asexuality and aromanticism are and how they differ but she can’t remember. She’s very supportive of me being aroace so I don’t think it’s purposeful. Japanese is her first language so it might be better to explain in Japanese, but I can only speak English. I understand if you’re busy, and this isn’t too important, but if you have the time and energy, could you link a website that fully explains it or write your own explanation? Thank you! hi! sorry for taking so long to respond to your ask. i’ve decided to respond to it publicly because others may find the information in it useful, but i will gladly take the post down if you’d so prefer. just let me know. i don’t know whether your mom will find this easier to understand or not, but this…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A

Q&A: “is there a reason that orientation is based solely on which gender(s) you’re attracted to?”

October 18, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: i’ve been wondering lately – is there a reason that orientation is based solely on which gender(s) you’re attracted to? why CAN’T an orientation define who you’re attracted to based on other factors? i get that would allow for things like sapiosexual and whatnot which is…yikes. but i almost feel like that’s PART of why ppl have like…a kneejerk reaction to “”mogai”” orientations maybe? idk i’m probably missing something abt it not all orientations are based solely on which gender(s) someone is attracted to. off the top of my head, some examples of orientations that aren’t solely based on that (if even based on that at all) are lith*, demi*, gray*, and a* but there are many more, of course. that said, i’m guessing you had “The Big 3″ orientations that society most commonly recognizes in mind when writing this ask. don’t quote me on this, but i feel…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “i have a question if i’m agender and i like cis girls and genderqueer people…”

April 14, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Eyy, i have a question if i’m agender and i like cis girls and genderqueer people… What’s my sexual orientation? yeaaah, putting a name to one’s orientation does get complicated when non-binary people are involved, doesn’t it? that said, i’m afraid i can’t tell you what your sexual orientation is. that’s something that you’ll have to decide. there are non-binary and/or agender people who are attracted to girls and genderqueer people who identify as bi since bi is defined as attraction to two or more genders, but there are also non-binary and/or agender people who experience similar attraction but don’t identify as bi. what matters most is what word / identity feels “right” to you. whatever word / identity that may be, try running with that and see how it feels. you can always change it if it doesn’t feel right. 🙂 sidenote: i’m assuming you have reasons for…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “what are the qualifications to classify yourself as an asexual?”

February 3, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: This may be a stupid question to ask, but what are the qualifications to classify yourself as an asexual? I think I may be one, but then again I do have my doubts and other people say I’m not, but I’m just not sure. Thanks if you can answer this, sorry if I’m a bother hi, anon. this isn’t a stupid question, nor are you a bother. 🙂 there are no “qualifications” as such, all that really matters (in so far as i’m concerned) is that identifying as asexual feels right for you. the most common definition of asexuality is experiencing sexual attraction towards no one, at least in part because many asexual people feel like that describes them. however, that isn’t the only way to come to identify as asexual and it certainly doesn’t describe everyone who is asexual. the determining factor to whether you’re asexual or not…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “Is there a term for sexuality being constantly fluid?”

January 30, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Is there a term for sexuality being constantly fluid? Like the sexual orientation version of genderfluid? hi anon! sorry for not replying sooner. i’m not aware of a specific term for when someone experiences constant sexual fluidity, but that certainly doesn’t mean that one doesn’t exist. perhaps my followers know of such a term and can help you out? i know that some people (multisexual people especially) experience fluctuations in regards to the gender(s) that they are attracted at any given time throughout their life, but i’m guessing that that isn’t what you’re referring to. followers? know of anything that might help anon?

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “do you think you could help me explain why sexuality is not the same as having a “racial preference”…?”

January 9, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hey, do you think you could help me explain why sexuality is not the same as having a “racial preference” for who you date? Like I know they’re different but I can’t seem to explain it very well. Thanks!! hi anon! sorry for taking so long to reply. in my humble opinion, “sexuality” is a very broad term that is used to describe a wide variety of things, including preferences that a person may have with regards to gender, number of partners, types of relationships, hair color/type/location, race, and a million other things. racial preference is a thing that could be considered relevant to a person’s sexuality. that doesn’t mean it isn’t or can’t be racist to have such a preference. that said, i get the feeling that you’re looking to explain the difference between sexual orientation and racial preference rather than sexuality in general. that is a…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “What do u do if u have identified as exclusively homosexual for a long time but then u fall for one person of the opposite sex?”

October 29, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: What do u do if u have identified as exclusively homosexual for a long time but then u fall for one person of the opposite sex? Are u still homosexual or does that one exception make u something else? in my humble opinion that is entirely up to you. some people do continue to identify as homosexual but with an exception. some identify as bisexual but with an inclination towards a certain gender(s). others identify as something else entirely. it’s entirely up to the person in question. being a non-binary person myself, i feel obligated to mention that if you do eventually enter into a relationship with someone of a different gender (there is no such thing as “the opposite” sex or gender given that there are more than two), it would be worth chatting about it with your partner. especially when it comes to trans or non-binary people,…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “Aren’t gays and lesbians inherently transphobic…?”

October 12, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: Aren’t gays and lesbians inherently transphobic because they reinforce genitalia=gender by only having sex with people as the same genitals as their own? …………..i’m going to respond to this in the format of a list because after sitting on this ask for nearly a day i have decided that that is the best way to keep this response from turning into a rant. when a person (regardless of their sexuality) is attracted to someone else they are attracted to that person’s character, to their self-expression, to their smile, to their identity, to their voice, to who they are as a person. people do not use x-ray vision to look through a person’s clothing to see what genitalia they have and decide whether they find that genitalia attractive or not. why are you equating same-gender attraction with same-genitalia attraction? there actually are people of every orientation who find…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “what does it mean when people identify as bi/pan or poly/pan or any other combination like that?”

June 23, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: Im sorry if this is a dumb question, but what does it mean when people identify as bi/pan or poly/pan or any other combination like that. Is it like romantically they’re pan and sexually they’re bi, vice versa. Or is it something like they fall along somewhere between the two? I don’t know if I worded this clearly, I’m really curious and confused. Thank you for your time, you have a great blog btw. there is an infinite number of reasons why someone might identify as/with more than one orientation at the same time. for example, having a sexual orientation that differs from their romantic/etc orientation feeling like those orientations equally describe who they are feeling like a combination of those orientations feeling somewhere in between those orientations having a fluid sexuality that shifts between those orientations having a desire to be visible as a member of…

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Vesper H.

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QAC 24 – Labels: Why They’re Important + Why I Use Them

March 17, 2014 / No Comments

a blurb about labels, their importance and why i use them. because i talk too damn much: @00:00 – update about my mom @00:52 – labels: more than just identity @05:22 – labels can suck @07:08 – why labels are important & why i use them i’m a little crazy in the beginning, but i swear i start making sense towards the end. ;(

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Vesper H.

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