literal “social distancing” from the ace community
at the time of writing this, the date is March 31st, 2020: just over 2 months since the first case of COVID-19 in America was confirmed...
at the time of writing this, the date is March 31st, 2020: just over 2 months since the first case of COVID-19 in America was confirmed...
since returning to the US from Japan back in March, i haven't been on social media, YouTube, or this blog as much as i'd have liked. the international move itself aside, i've had my hands full juggling emotional / compassion fatigue...
as a follow up on this post about losing my job and a general life update, i guess: after a month of what felt like running a 40km marathon of creating multiple resumes, writing cover letter after cover letter, waking up at 4am to catch the 6:20am train to Tokyo and back for interviews and such all before going to work for 8 hours that same day– i’ve finally got a new job…! and not just any job, a job that’s better than my current job in every possible way minus paid vacation– ouch. the new job is going to be really challenging for me because while i have experience teaching high school students, i have never actually taught at a high school let alone an international one! as much as i could jump out of my own skin right now out of anxiety, among other things, i’m also excited…! except for the…
anonymous said: So I wanted to ask being nonbinary, does it ever get difficult to navigate different aspects of your life because of you being nonbinary, specifically things like dealing with career, or a hobby or a passion that you have, where it feels like you have to hide or compromise who you are in order to retain that aspect of your life. I ask because right now i’m thinking of transitioning and even though i’m financially independant it feels like my different interests are tying me down 1/2 and that in order not to loose those interests I have to compromise various aspects of me being nonbinary, like for instance I do singing and karate and it feels like if I ever wanted to start transitioning I’d have to give those things up or say that i’m binary trans in order to justify transitioning, It feels like i’m at…
…so somehow this vintage deck of lesbian-themed playing cards made it all the way from Los Angeles to a christmas market in middle-of-nowhere Japan and into my hands today. [“Dyke Deck” by Catherine Opie] were sold at The Museum of Contemporary Art, Los Angeles but are SOLD OUT. Includes 52 playing cards, 2 jokers, instruction sheet, and case. Opie created this humorous deck to explore the issue of the lesbian body in photography. Many of the women in the photos are friends of Opie’s while others came to an open call in San Francisco. In the “Dyke Deck” Opie divided up the imags into four categories to correspond with the four suits: couples are hearts, jocks are clubs, femmes are diamonds and butches are spades. as a lover and enthusiast of black & white photography and queer person myself, this feels a bit like that thing some people call “fate”?…
…today America decided for me that i can’t “come home” for at least another 4 years. i might not have anyway, but at least the option was there. there’s a lot of talk of people wanting to leave America. i get that. i said the same thing living in America when Bush was elected. if only i’d known that leaving America doesn’t actually mean escaping it. not like i’d thought, anyway. next year will be my 10th year of living abroad. i never imagined i’d ever live abroad at all let alone for as long as i have, but the longer i do the harder it becomes to envision a life back in America again. even so, 4 more years on top of the time i’ve already spent abroad puts me that much closer to having spent half of my life abroad… but perhaps that doesn’t even matter, because after today…
…as if dealing with the news itself and the media’s handling of it isn’t enough, i’m going to have to go through the week (and for however long after) listening to lots of opinions and commentary on the event that i would really rather do without, all while keeping my own feelings and opinion in check because, you know. that’s the nature of my job. somehow i’m going to have to muster up the energy to up my game with my Everything’s Okay face this week. …i’m exhausted already just thinking about it. ugh.
so a few weeks ago i unloaded my anxiety on here about going to a ジェンダーフリー / “gender free” party in Tokyo. well, it’s been a few days since the party and after a huge rant like that, you all deserve an update. plus i met another ace today and you’ll never guess what happened.
anonymous said: Hi, I’m also a black agender person from the states. What do you think about the treatment of black people specifically in Japan? hmm…. i’m finding this question really hard to answer because it’s so…. vague? and open-ended? hmm… i could respond to this with a really long winded answer, but i’m tired and should be in bed, so i’ll give you an abbreviated one! while Japan in has internalized antiblackness issues just like anywhere else, i don’t think that Japan (as a whole) treats black people any specific way. there are people who fetishize or idolize black (specifically black American) culture / music / people… these people are really fucking annoying to run into, but for the most part people are respectful and curious in a healthy way. aside from the aforementioned fetishists, i’d say the most troublesome thing that a black person encounters in Japan that…
that feel when you’re with a group of friends and everyone’s bouncing off of each other talking about the difficult life shit that they deal with, then you chime in mentioning stuff that has to deal with race / culture and suddenly things get quiet… ….because, you know. everyone else in the group is white and doesn’t know what to say. opps. the race / culture thing. shouldn’t have gone there with you guys, huh?