labels Archives | Page 2 of 3 | Queer As Cat

[A]sexuality, Gender[queer], Queer[ness], YouTube[r]

QAC 51 – #ProudToBe Black Non-Binary Bi Pan AND Asexual

June 22, 2016 / 1 Comment

for those who don’t know, YouTube is currently spotlighting videos by LGBTQIA creators expressing their Pride in who they are using the #ProudToBe hashtag. i thought i’d jump on the bandwagon and add some encouraging words and visibility / representation for people like me. as the video description says, YouTube joined forces with many popular LGBTQIA content creators on its site to release the #ProudToBe spotlight today. inspired by others’ videos, but also pissed off by the public’s response to the hashtag / spotlight, i decided to make this impromptu video upon getting home from work. it’s not great, but might as well throw my face out there too, eh? as i mentioned, the public’s response to the hashtag / spotlight has been especially severe… trolls have been out in force like never before, spamming everything from the comments section of YouTube’s spotlight video itself to the comment sections of literally…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I’ve IDed as aromantic for a while, but I’m very confused.”

June 10, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Question!! I’ve IDed as aromantic for a while, but I’m very confused. I think I like quioromantic, but also I feel like idemromantic could apply. Since the two are similar, how would I decide which is more accurate in describing myself? Thanks! -Cio Oh! And also, does it make sense for me to want/be in a romantic relationship even if I (don’t know if I) feel romantic attraction? If one of my close friends asked me on a date I’d quickly agree, but is that fair to them? -Cio i often suggest to people to try an identity / label ‘on for size’ to see how it ‘fits’. sometimes it’s hard to know whether something feels ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ to you just from read definitions and researching the experiences of others who identify as the identity / label that you’re interested in. sometimes things become a lot clearer more quickly by…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I’m genderfluid and for example when I’m female or even partly I feel attraction to women (only) and the same goes to when I’m male/masc…”

May 16, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Ok the thing is that I’m genderfluid and for example when I’m female or even partly I feel attraction to women (only) and the same goes to when I’m male/masc. Just wanted to ask if there’s a term/label/word or something to that. So if that’s a real thing? not everyone’s sexuality is fluid even if their gender is. yes, that is a real thing, regardless of whether there’s a term for it or not. some people use the terms gynosexual / gynoromantic to describe attraction to women, without regard to one’s own gender identity, but… i hesitant to even mention these terms, or their male counterparts androsexual / androromantic, at all because of people defining and using these terms in really problematic ways. as tempting as it may be to use these terms because they’re almost like an ‘easy fix’, i do not recommend them. i’m really only mentioning…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I think I might be anything but straight, and it’s terrifying.”

March 29, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: I think I might be anything but straight, and it’s terrifying. I don’t know if I want to label myself but I feel like I have to for the people surrounding me. Let me not have a label if I don’t want to. Let me live. I don’t know where to go from now. anon, you most certainly don’t have to label yourself and there is absolutely nothing wrong with not being sure of your sexuality or anything else in life. even if others are obnoxious enough to try and co-pilot or even hijack it, the fact is that you are in control of your life and identity. you and only you. what you do from here is entirely up to you. hell, you don’t even have to do anything at all if you don’t want to. discovering something new about yourself can certainly be terrifying, especially at…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A not Q&A: “so i came out as asexual to my friends about half a year ago but…”

March 27, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: so i came out as asexual to my friends about half a year ago. but in the past few months i’ve been realizing that i may not be asexual. i don’t know what i am and i don’t want to label it just yet. i also want to tell my friends, but i feel like they’re getting tired of me saying different things (i came out as bi, then ace & trans, then this) and that there’s no point in me saying anything if i don’t even know what i am. i want to say something, but i don’t even know if i should. hi, anon. if you want to say something to your friends, then i think you should? there’s absolutely nothing wrong with just flat out saying that you’re not sure how you feel and/or that you’re questioning. that you’re continuously learning and discovering things about…

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Vesper H.

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random thoughts on ‘genderqueer’ & ‘non-binary’

March 9, 2016 / No Comments

unknought wrote in: “What you describe as feeling “degendered” by being called non-binary seems similar to how some people eventually started feeling about the term/identity genderqueer.” Would you be able to say more about this and/or provide a source? I had just been asking people about how nonbinary seems to have taken the place genderqueer had five years ago, and it sounds like you have an idea what’s been going on there? (in reference to this post) all that follows is nothing more than my opinion and personal observation, but… reflecting back over the past 6 years in which i personally have gone from identifying as genderqueer to not using the term to describe myself at all anymore, i feel like i’ve seen three major things happen within online genderqueer and non-binary communities that have ultimately resulted in the decline in usage of the word “genderqueer” by some people?…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “People have told me that my attraction to women with vaginas is transphobic…”

March 6, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: My friend & I both identify as queer women. She is only attracted to masculine-identified and presenting people with vaginas, and I am only attracted to feminine-identified and presenting people with vaginas. So she only dates masculine women and non-binary afab people and trans men, and I only date feminine women and non-binary afab people. People have told me that my attraction to women with vaginas is transphobic and hers isn’t. But what’s the difference? Am I really transphobic? i can only really tell you my opinion, which i’m sure not everyone will agree with, but… when i first read this ask i had to stop and read it over a few times because i see several things about both attractions that are potentially offensive / cissexist / transphobic. it’s obvious that you’ve tried to word things in a way that avoids misgendering people and associating gender with…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “Is there a specific term for being primarily and largely attracted to a gender and…”

February 11, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Is there a specific term for being primarily and largely attracted to a gender, and experiencing occasional attraction to an additional gender? i’m afraid i don’t know of a word for this… perhaps my followers do? i think that there are many people who identify as lesbian, gay, bi, pan etc who would love for such a word to exist so that they could more readily describe their attraction…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “what are the qualifications to classify yourself as an asexual?”

February 3, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: This may be a stupid question to ask, but what are the qualifications to classify yourself as an asexual? I think I may be one, but then again I do have my doubts and other people say I’m not, but I’m just not sure. Thanks if you can answer this, sorry if I’m a bother hi, anon. this isn’t a stupid question, nor are you a bother. 🙂 there are no “qualifications” as such, all that really matters (in so far as i’m concerned) is that identifying as asexual feels right for you. the most common definition of asexuality is experiencing sexual attraction towards no one, at least in part because many asexual people feel like that describes them. however, that isn’t the only way to come to identify as asexual and it certainly doesn’t describe everyone who is asexual. the determining factor to whether you’re asexual or not…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “can a person also choose to be a gender that doesn’t align with the one they were assigned at birth?”

November 8, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: So I know it is possible to choose to be queer and that doesn’t make a person’s queer identity any less legitimate, but can a person also choose to be a gender that doesn’t align with the one they were assigned at birth? I think I might be agender, but this isn’t something that “I’ve always known,” which I feel like is the typical narrative around trans folk. …well, first off, i should probably say that i do not think that it’s possible to choose to be queer. it’s certainly true that one chooses to identify as queer and that if one comes to identify as queer due to outside factors, that does not make that queer identity any less legitimate, sure. but even then being queer isn’t a choice. one doesn’t wake up one day and choose to be queer. and i’m pretty sure that’s not what…

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Vesper H.

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