important Archives | Queer As Cat

Q&A

Q&A: “do you think you could help me explain why sexuality is not the same as having a “racial preference”…?”

January 9, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hey, do you think you could help me explain why sexuality is not the same as having a “racial preference” for who you date? Like I know they’re different but I can’t seem to explain it very well. Thanks!! hi anon! sorry for taking so long to reply. in my humble opinion, “sexuality” is a very broad term that is used to describe a wide variety of things, including preferences that a person may have with regards to gender, number of partners, types of relationships, hair color/type/location, race, and a million other things. racial preference is a thing that could be considered relevant to a person’s sexuality. that doesn’t mean it isn’t or can’t be racist to have such a preference. that said, i get the feeling that you’re looking to explain the difference between sexual orientation and racial preference rather than sexuality in general. that is a…

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Vesper H.

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Dear White People: About “People of Color” (POC)

December 23, 2015 / No Comments

this is post is the blog version of a vlog that i recently posted to my YouTube channel. the content is essentially the same, but feel free to check out both. as you can probably tell by the title, this is going to be a rant. that said, i hope that something can be learned from it. why have i titled this “Dear White People”? even if white people aren’t solely guilty of what i’m about to talk about, i’m calling out white people specifically because i see white people of various countries doing this far more than anyone else. if you yourself are white and you consider yourself to be an ally to people of color, this post was written specifically for you.

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Vesper H.

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QAC 44 – Dear White People: About “People of Color” (POC) | A Rant

December 20, 2015 / No Comments

i’ve long since had issues with how some people, specifically white people, repeatedly misuse the term “People of Color” (aka “POC”). at long last i’m finally putting my frustrations into words in the hope of bringing awareness to these issues. in the interest of being as brief as possible, in this video i’ve summarize my issues regarding white people’s usage of this term into two points: treating POC as if they are a homogeneous group. ( @00:29 ~ ) treating whiteness as if it is the default not only in one’s own country, but internationally. ( @4:12 ~ ) obviously when people who consider themselves to be allies to POC make such mistakes the mistakes are honest ones with no ill intent behind them. however, that does not change the fact that mistakes are being made and that these mistakes should be corrected. if you consider yourself to be an…

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Vesper H.

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Documentary Explores The Reality Of Being Black And Gay In The Church

[A]sexuality, [Random] Thoughts, Black[ness], Gender[queer], Queer[ness]

Documentary Explores The Reality Of Being Black And Gay In The Church

November 14, 2015 / No Comments

projectqueer: This week, BET premiered a documentary that shows the experiences of being queer and black in the church and explores LGBTQ individuals of faith navigating religious communities that provide support and belonging for one identity, but may reject the other. The film, titled “Holler If You Hear Me: Black and Gay in the Church,” looks at the intersection of black and queer identities that has grown more visible in the last year as black LGBTQ individuals and their narratives have entered the mainstream, from reality TV to scripted dramas and magazine covers. Clay Cane, the creator and producer of the film, told The Huffington Post about his inspiration for the documentary. “With ‘Holler: Being Black and Gay in the Church’ my intent was to put the narrative in the hands of black LGBT folk in the church, and to hear their stories,” he said. Cane, a first-time filmmaker, has addressed…

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Vesper H.

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QAC 41 – Am I Asexual? | Never Too Young To Know

October 18, 2015 / No Comments

too often young aces and young people who are questioning whether or not they’re on the ace spectrum get told that they’re “too young to know.” young aces have it hard, constantly having their feelings and identity invalidated not only by society but by their own friends and family members purely on the basis of their age. well, i’m here to tell you that society is wrong. young aces, you can never be too young to know who you are. this video is dedicated to you. it’s already Asexual Awareness Week here in Japan and i’m kicking it off with a video dedicated to young aces and young people who are questioning. i hope that you’ll find this video encouraging. i’ll be adding captions to this video within the next couple of days. edit: les sous-titres sont maintenant disponible en l’anglais et en français ! mille mercis à ZKL pour le…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “…why are lesbians who don’t want to have sex with women with gentalia that repulses them considered transphobic?”

October 13, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: Different anon but I have a q about something u said in the last anon q you answered. If it is okay for people to be repulsed by certain genitalia than why do lesbians who don’t want to have sex with women with gentalia that repulses them considered transphobic? This is something I’ve seen in a lot of places on tumblr. Can you speak more about being repulsed by certain genitalia being okay? [this is in reference to this post] *takes a deep breath, steadying themself for potential backlash from this post* …the following is my opinion, but there is a difference between: defining your orientation based solely on the genitalia you do or do not find repulsive.* (ie. saying that you’re a lesbian or gynosexual because you’re repulsed by penises.) defining your orientation based on your attraction to X (Y, Z) gender(s) and then adding a…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “do you think it’s ‘correct’ for hetero ace/aros to call themselves queer?”

September 25, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hello, just asking cause I’m not entirely sure and I value your opinion… do you think it’s ‘correct’ for hetero ace/aros to call themselves queer. And I mean, is that something that should be allowed to be done without getting furiously shamed by other members of LGBT+ Because I’ve seen a lot of them get flack for using that term for themselves and now I’m not sure if it’s okay. I originally thought it was but… yeah. Thanks. ….ahhh, The Debate. which shouldn’t even really be the debate that it is in the first place, imho. i generally prefer to stay out of The Debate because i feel like The Debate itself is an example of identity policing, most often on the part of people who do not believe that heteroromantic aces or aro heterosexuals are a part of the LGBTQIA community to begin with (and i…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “Do you think its okay for me (personally) to reject the idea of romantic orientation?”

September 10, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: Do you think its okay for me (personally) to reject the idea of romantic orientation? I don’t feel like I fit with aromantic either. Romantic orientation just doesn’t feel like a useful concept to me. I feel like I can’t even distinguish “romantic attraction” and “sensual attraction” and whatever. The way I’m attracted to people is in a way that I can’t pick apart: all the feelings go together and nothing stands out as ‘this specifically is romantic attraction.’ Can’t I /just/ be asexual? without a doubt you can (and should) feel free to discard or reject the idea of romantic orientation etc etc in regards to yourself if you do not find the concept to be useful to you. there is absolutely no requirement that you identify or describe yourself as anything. honestly, it would do the asexual community good to recognize that romantic orientation (among others)…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “…do you think there could be other types of attraction?”

July 7, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: I know a lot of the time in discussions about asexual identities people break down attraction into 4 different categories: sexual, romantic, aesthetic, sensual (well and sometimes platonic). But do you think there could be other types of attraction? Sometimes I see people and I feel /something/ but I wouldn’t really categorize it as one of those – argh its so confusing! Am I just experiencing one of those types of attraction in a strange way?? without a doubt there could be (read: probably is) more to attraction than the categories that the ace and aro communities tend to refer to. attraction, as with feelings in general, is an insanely complex thing that most certainly cannot be neatly boxed into or described by categories. it doesn’t get said enough that not everyone even finds the existing categories helpful or meaningful in describing their attraction(s). you could be experiencing…

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Vesper H.

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